Just Edward

On Monday morning, Edward the snobby lobster lost his memory but he didn’t lose all of his memory. For example: he remembered his name and he knew how to talk. 

Suddenly, Edward felt hungry, but he didn’t know it, so he started wandering around in a huge, dark, black room with a small machine. But because he had lost his memory just a minute ago, he didn’t care.

He wandered around the room trying to find a door or a way out. After five minutes, he finally found a window that led outside to an open grass field. There was a little dirt road. Edward followed that road and ended up by a convenience store. He tried opening the door, but it was locked and the lights were out. He looked around, trying to find another way in.

Eventually, after five times circling the convenience store, he broke down the door by breaking it with his sharp claws. He crawled up a shelf, grabbed a bag of Cheetos, and started smacking his face into it because he didn’t remember how to eat. The bag broke and he started chewing the Cheetos. When he was done, his face looked like a giant orange. 

All of a sudden, someone walked in, studied the door, looked Edward right in the face, grabbed a broom, and ran at him. Edward climbed up a ladder that led to the roof, jumped on the guy, and started cutting his hair to the point that the guy was bald. Then, Edward ran out the door without him even knowing. 

Suddenly his friend, Luke, came out of the ocean and said, “Hey Edward, long time no see! How are you doing?”

Edward stopped, stuttered and said, “Who are you?”

Luke said, “You know who I am, stop playing around!”

Edward slapped Luke in the face. 

And then, Edward said, “I’m not playing around.” 

Luke shouted, “Hey! Why did you slap me?” Luke slapped Edward back and Edward slapped Luke, and that went back and forth for about two months.

Two months later…

“Ahhhhhhhhhh!” shouted Luke as he jumped into the ocean. “It burns!” complained Luke. “WHY, EDWARD, WHY!” But Edward just ignored him and went on his way. 

Five days later… 

Edward’s face was still red and bulging with pain as he walked down the road heading towards Azweiture city. Edward was crawling to Azweiture city when the ground started to shake and a huge black and silver circle rolled past him and hit him with a wave of air. Another black and silver circle rolled past; Edward looked behind him and saw two big white lights speeding towards him. He crouched down and when it was right over him, he grabbed a bit of metal and pinched as hard as he could. Edward climbed on top of the beast, broke the glass, climbed in, and buckled his seatbelt. 

Ten minutes later, the driver got out of the beast and screamed when he saw Edward. He pulled out a thin brick with a screen on it and hit three numbers, 9-1-1, and hit a button that said “call” on it. One minute later, animal control came and tried to grab him, but Edward cut all their hair off. Everyone was too busy crying and feeling their head to notice the oversized lobster crawling away into the darkness.

Thirty minutes later, Edward had walked all 328 miles of Azweiture city and broke into house 229 Tin Street. He dug a hole in the ground and up into the Romanus’ house. In the house, Edward saw flashing lights coming from a big room. The light hurt his eyes and he didn’t like it at all. He scampered in and saw it. The source of all of that light was from a small penguin, but its belly had a rectangular blinding light. He climbed up the wall and onto the ceiling. He left little dents in the wall as he walked. Finally, he jumped down behind the penguin and cut everything he saw, even the wall. The penguin’s belly turned black. Then, Edward heard a “What?” from a fat guy with a brown bottle in his hand. He walked up to the penguin and tapped its belly. He looked behind and when he saw Edward, he ran.

Three seconds later he came back, but instead of a brown bottle in his hand, he had a big metal tube and a red strap on his head. Edward jumped on the metal tube and onto the man’s belly. He climbed up to cut all of the man’s head but when Edward got to the top of the man’s head, he found out he had none. The man grabbed Edward and threw him out the window and onto the street. Edward ran up to a woman with a big purple square on her back. He jumped on and squirmed into a small dark cramped chamber.

Five minutes later, the woman dropped the square and shrieked when she opened it. A man came running over and grabbed Edward. Edward pinched him and he yelled something that Edward couldn’t make out. Thirty seconds later, two men ran in with a small metal bar. Edward knew it was dangerous and pinched a triangle on one man’s face and and on the other man’s face. One man dropped his bar and ran away. Edward crawled over and pulled a small, thin metal piece with his leg, which was attached to the bigger piece. A metal ball shot out of the bar and hit a girl in the leg. Red stuff spewed out of where the metal ball hit her and she fell to the floor. Edward heard sirens and he saw red and blue lights shining through the glass walls.

Six men rushed in and saw Edward standing by the metal bar and the injured girl. They pointed their medal bars at Edward and they pulled the little trigger. A small metal ball came right at him. He jumped over the ball and rushed for cover. One man ran away and came back with a stretchy brown circle. The man ran toward Edward and tied the stretchy brown circle around his claws and put him in a cage. The cage was brought to a big beast with a big metal square behind it. The man put Edward in the big square and shut the two big metal plates behind him. He was trapped!

To be continued…

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