The Adventures of Hillel: Going Nuclear

Hi everybody, Hillel here. I’m going to tell you about another war. We had to arm and train an army so we could destroy the rebellions of the cat war. See we destroyed the cat army but the regular cats on the planet of cats apparently were armed by the government and were prepared to fight if the actual army lost, which they did, so we had to fight a bunch of untrained citizens. There was a council meeting of what else we should do. As I am the head of the CIA, I was invited so that’s where I was going. Finally, I got there. “Hello General Hillel, take a seat,” General Avraham said, “We were just about to discuss a nuclear attack on the planet of cats.”

“Why would you do that? We know that there are some innocent cats who do not support the war we can not kill them,” I said.

“War calls for some sacrifices,” said General Avraham.

“I will not have the military kill innocent people,” I said. I was getting worked up by then.

“I will not kill innocent people,” I repeated. I could tell by the looks that I was getting from the other Generals and Admirals at the meeting that I was reddening at the ears, which happens to me when I am getting mad.

“It would be barking mad not to plan a nuclear attack on the cat army,” replied General Avraham.

“No. What would be barking mad would be to plan a nuclear attack. There are thousands of innocent cats who didn’t have anything to do with the cat war or what is going on with us and the cat army. We can’t just kill them all,” I said.

This was really getting out of hand. You cannot just go around killing innocent civilians. I thought that when I got home, that I should tell my mom and dad all about this conversation I had with my brother. My mom and dad thought that I was right. They said they would talk to my brother and make him see sense.

Most of the Generals and Admirals agree with me. Now, with the Generals and Admirals at my side, I went to another council meeting. And now the council board finally saw me right and we did not bomb cat world. Little did I know that General Avraham was with his closest members of the army and the CIA right then planning a secret nuclear attack, even though the council had denied his request for a nuclear attack. I did not even notice when he didn’t show up for the next few Council Meetings, I just had too much on my hands.

I’ve been having to think up ways that I can attack the cat army without having to bomb them. I’ve been talking to some of my highest-ranking generals and most of them say that that the best idea would be to do what we were doing then and there: use our army because even if they have more soldiers than us, they are untrained. For instance, General Mcgeorge was saying that we were beating them as it is, why stop now. But my conscience told me that they were going to start training as well.

I was going to visit my brother (We made up. Avraham gave in.) and have lunch with him. We were in the middle of chicken when the phone rang. brrrrrrrrrrrring. “I’ll get it,” said Avraham.

I headed to go to the bathroom. But then I overheard my brother on the phone.

“Okay, we’ll do it next week,” my brother whispered.

There was a pause where I couldn’t hear anything.

My brother answered back, “We will secretly bomb the cat planet two weeks from now.”

I knew what was going on. I had thought that my brother has seen sense, but then again, I should have remembered that he was always a stubborn man.

I grabbed my coat and raced out the door. I got home and quickly informed my closest

colleagues. And we decided we would build a secret bomb shelter for all the normal citizens.

Meanwhile Avraham had not been showing up to work which probably meant he

knew that I knew that he was going to bomb. But I could not deal with that now, because we needed to secretly, as not to be attacked, build a bomb shelter. We sent a team of builders and a good 500 tons of bedrock, tools and supplies. We loaded them all to a big spaceship with a bunch of little capsules because if we took just the big spaceship down, the cat army would definitely see. We had to take the tools in one capsule. The bedrock took up seventy capsules. All the people went in one capsule. I couldn’t think straight. My brother was maddening me. I didn’t see how I could be related to this oppressor.

My Admiral came to me. “I hacked into your brother’s phone calls,” he said. “Your

brother’s plans are going faster than your brother thought would happen.”

“So we have to accelerate,” I said.

“Yes, but that was what I was also going to tell you. Some of our builders also got attacked by the cat army, but they didn’t find out about what we are building.” he said.

“I can not believe it. How did the cat army find out?!” I said.

He did not have time to reply, because we just saw Avraham’s big warship. It was huge and there was a nuclear bomb. Oh-No! He’s attacking! I had an idea. I turned on the microphone. “Avraham surrender or we will open fire!”I say into it.

“No!”I heard Avraham’s voice say.

“I am landing my ship! You will have to kill me, too!” I say while landing my ship!

I waited for Avraham to fire but he didn’t. “I will let you build your bomb shelter and then I’ll bomb.”

I couldn’t believe it.









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