The Debate Over the Weirdest Things



(The Potato)

Once there was a world where not only people had the ability to speak, but so did other things…

(The Person)

We wish it was only us who spoke… Every morning, my friend has to wake up to more noise than himself. I’m glad that’s not me. I want to wake up to no noise other than myself.



(The Person)

I wake up and feel happy. It’s a Saturday! For me that means that I don’t have to go to work! Yay!!

I go downstairs and make myself breakfast. I can eat in peace. My friend can’t. Too bad for him. At least he said he can’t. I think I’ll go visit my friend! I think. So, I clean up and go brush my teeth before I leave for my friend’s house.


(The Potato)

I never knew this would happen, but it did. I ended up leaving them and coming here to a different world from the one that I know, a world where not only I can’t speak, but I hear other voices, other voices that don’t belong to us. I don’t have the courage to talk to the new sounds I hear and the new figures that always seem to move around the room that I stay in, Well actually, I stay in a lot of rooms. Sorry, I don’t know the names of the rooms that I stay in. Okay, I know that I haven’t gotten to the point yet, so here it is: I left my Potato friends and now live with a thing I hear everyone call h-u-m-a-n-s, but I have no idea what they exactly are.


(The Person)

As I walk to my friend’s house, I think, How does he do this? This new companion of his?

When I get to the house, I don’t even knock on the door. All I do is push the door open, and wow, it opens!

“Hey yo!” I call into the house that seems pretty empty.

“Who are you?” a voice calls from inside the house.

“It’s me, your friend, Steve.”

“Oh,” says the voice, “you should knock the next time.”

“Well then, why do you leave your door open, huh?” I ask.

I hear some noises, and then my friend (whose name is Frank but we call Frankie when we are not in public) comes to the already opened door.

“How is your new companion doing?” I ask in hope that Frank is not in the mood to show me his new companion.

“Hey, you need to call me before you come to visit. I am not in the mood to show you my new friend or to see you! So you can go, bye bye,” Frank says, and he slams the door in my face. “By the way, I am still having breakfast!” I hear him shout from inside. I guess Frank doesn’t want to see me. Oh well, too bad, I think.



Well, I guess that I’ll start from the beginning of my story:

My story!

There had been rumors about these Potato animals (who came from a place that is unknown to us humans) and how if no one adopted any of them, the government would have to probably do something to them that wouldn’t be so good. I felt bad for them and decided to adopt one and see how that went, so I might get more. I was also most likely one of the only people who decided to adopt any. This first poor Potato was really scared at first. I mean, really scared. He didn’t even want food, or when I put him down on my kitchen floor, he instantly ran for a hiding spot. But now he’s gotten a lot better. We play together, and the most amazing thing is that HE CAN TALK!!! Though he doesn’t talk much, he still talks sometimes. You’d be surprised how little work they are and how much company they keep you if you need it.

My potato’s name is Bob. Yeah, I know it’s a weird name, but he liked it, so that’s what matters. This morning, Bob and I were just starting our breakfast when my, sometimes annoying, friend Steve knocked on the door. Well no, he didn’t knock on the door. He just opened the door and called “Hey, yo!” I had no idea it was him until I asked who he was, and then he told me. Literally, he interrupted my nice Saturday morning breakfast with Bob! So I ended up going to the door and having a short conversation with Steve. Eventually, I got annoyed and told him to go away and slammed the door on him. I did that because, yes, he was annoying me, and two, he doesn’t like Potatoes. He is actually afraid of my Potato! Ha ha!! The good thing is that me and my Potato live happily and peacefully.



I was told not to come to the door when Frank went to open it, but I don’t know why he told me not to come.

Frank is a nice person to live with. He isn’t mean to me or anyone that I know (not that I know many h-u-m-a-n-s)! I also have started to figure out the life of h-u-m-a-n-s. Frank’s life seems pretty easy. He doesn’t ever leave the house without telling me. You know what? He never leaves the house. I think he is worried about me. Maybe he has a secret person who does stuff for him if he is with me all the time. I once asked him if I could write a letter to my Potato friends, and he was sooooooooo nice. He said, “Yes of course, Bob!” So here is what I wrote to my friends:


Dear Friends,

It’s me, your friend! My new name is Bob. I like it, do you?

Are you with a h-u-m-a-n yet? I am, I’m with a h-u-m-a-n who everyone calls Frank or Frankie. He is nice. I don’t know how I learned to write so well but I think it was Frank (or Frankie) who taught me.

I really hope some h-u-m-a-n takes you in.

All the best your Potato friend



So now we just have to send the letter, but Frankie is working on that! I like my life with him. It is great!


(The Government)

“SILENCE!” Tom Raines shouts to all the important people in the courtroom, which is not being held for court. “What we are here for is to discuss the case of the Potatoes, so listen up everyone!”

“Ahem, sir, you haven’t gotten to the point,” an important man says impatiently.

“What do I care how you feel about time?!” Tom yells. “Okay, here is the point: We are going to vote on who thinks that the Potatoes should go and who thinks the Potatoes should get adopted by us.”

“They should go obviously!” the same important man says loudly, so everyone hears him real well.

“And why is the question!” Tom says.

“Are you on the other side?”

“No, I am a person. LET’S GET TO THE POINT! YOU ARE DISTRACTING ME!!!” Tom shrieks. “Who votes for no more Potatoes?

At first, everyone is silent. Then, a roar of cheers goes up. A lot of people are shouting, “No more live Potatoes on this planet!”

“Okay okay, and who wants Potatoes to stay?”

About half of the people stand up and cheer.

“Okay,” Tom says. “We’ll see what happens… ”



Well, I heard about the talk that the government had with important people. I’m never going to be part of that group. They voted, and seriously it was exactly even! I mean that’s not good, but still it’s pretty cool. I don’t know what side I’m on. Is it the good side or the bad side? There is no good side or bad side, is there? I think they are about the same. In a way, I wish the Potatoes weren’t here, but in another way it doesn’t really matter to me. Now I feel kind of sad that I never met Frankie’s Potato. So I decide to call Frankie and see if I can go over and meet the Potato.



I am doing my regular things when I hear a ring. Honestly, I don’t know where it came from, but then I hear Frankie groan and say, “Ugh the phone!” So, I go and pick up the phone.

Someone on the other end says, “Hi, Frankie. It’s me, Steve.”

Then, there is no more talking but just a pause. I don’t know how to use the phone, so I say something, “Hi… y-yes Frankie the h-u-m-a-n is h-home.” I am so surprised because there is a loud scream on the other side of the phone.

Frankie comes running into the room. “Who is on the other side of the phone?” he asks.

“Your friend Steve asked if you were home. I said yes.”

“Let me talk to Steve,” Frankie tells me.

“Hi, Steve. This is your friend, Frankie.”

Blah, blah, blah on the other side of the phone.

“Yes, okay. I’ll see if he’s in the mood.”

Blah, blah, blah.

“Yes, maybe see you later. Bye.” And with that last word, Frankie hangs up the phone.

“So, Steve called to ask if you were in the mood to meet him because he wanted to meet you now,” Frankie tells me.

“Umm… sure, but what do I say?” I ask, confused and a bit nervous. It’s the first time that I am ever meeting someone like a friend of Frankie. Of course when people were deciding what to do with us, we kind of met them, so I guess that counts as a person that I met.

“It will be okay. You just have to say: ‘Hi, I am Bob,’” Frankie says.

“Uhh… Okay you can call him and tell him to come if you want,” I say.

After a very little bit, Steve rings the bell. I get ready to say: Hi, my name is Bob. Three… Two… One… Bam! I think of all kinds of excuses to not have to tell Steve my name. I know this is kind of stupid, but I’m scared.

Steve comes through the door and into the room where Frank tells him to go to.

“This is my Potato. Why don’t you introduce yourself?”

“Hi, I-I am B-Bob.”

Steve looks completely freaked out about how I can speak. Rude.

“H-hi, Bob. As you know I am Steve, Frank’s friend.”

The Steve person doesn’t seem freaked out when he talks to me, how strange, only when I talk.

“Do you like Bob?” Frankie asks.

“Yeah, sure.”

I start to get kind of nervous that Steve doesn’t like me, so I start to go to a different room when Frank says, “Where do you think you’re going?” But in a nice way.

“Oh,” is all I can say. This silence feels so awkward.

“Why don’t we go to the living room so we can relax and talk about stuff? Have you heard about the talk the government had with the important people? Come on!” Frank says.

Frank, Steve, and I walk into the living room and sit down on the couch and some chairs. I have to say that Frank has a really big house, at least for me it seems big because I have never been in a house before (just this weird room where these people decided what to do with us, but that room was a lot bigger. Still, I think that Frank’s house is way cooler).



We watch some TV and talk about other cool stuff until it’s time for Steve to leave. Then, he says, “You know what? I like you, Bob!”

“Thanks, Steve,” Bob says.


(The Government)

“Uhh well, we have to vote again. Sorry,” Tom Rains says.

“What?!” the annoying but important man demands.

“I’m so sorry, but let’s get to the voting instead of wasting time!” Tom says impatiently. “Raise your hand if you think the Potatoes should stay. Okay. Now raise your hands if you think the Potatoes should go.”



Frankie was not very happy the next weeks. He said that he wasn’t happy because something was sad, but he wouldn’t tell me what was sad. I don’t really know much about what is happening in the outside world that is beyond the front or back door of Frankie’s house, but I wish I did.



I thought things would turn out much different than they did. Things were so sad and bad and annoying now. I wish I never disliked Potatoes.



It was too much for me. At least I got to keep Bob.


(The Government)

Some people were sad, and some were happy. I don’t know what I was. That annoying man was sooooo happy. I think he threw a party for it.



The government almost made me give Bob back, but I insisted to let him stay, and they finally agreed to let him stay. I should have adopted more Potatoes before this. I was an idiot. Now they all have to go! I can’t let them go! I hope Steve is sad. We haven’t spoken at all in the days that the news came. I could actually hear some people cheering and saying bad words about the Potatoes on the street

I felt so sad, but maybe we talk to the government or rather Tom Rains. The next day, I went to Tom and explained to him about 500,000 times that he was not going to send the Potatoes somewhere else without an argument! He didn’t seem to understand that much, but he surprisingly agreed to have a last vote.




We all went to the courtroom, and there were a lot of people. I hope no one would really would notice me because I am a Potato.

Soon enough, everyone had arrived, and Tom spoke a bit. Then came the moment that I had been waiting for.

“Okay, ladies and gentlemen, this is the moment you’ve all been waiting for! The last-and-final-no-argument-against vote. Everyone of you has a slip. You will write down which side you vote for, then tomorrow we’ll see who won!”

Everyone wrote something on these slips of paper and gave them to Tom.




Today was making me soooooooooooooooo nervous! Today is the final announcement of which side won.

I went with my friend and Bob to see what Tom would say about who won. We all entered the same courtroom that we were in yesterday.

Tom seemed happy, but he kept a poker face. He instantly announced the results, though he did welcome us.

“So the results are that,” he paused then continued, “the side that voted for the Potatoes to stay won.

“YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!” I hear Frank shout with all the other people that are super happy.


“LET’S GO!!! YESSSSSSSS!!! WE WON!” Frank and a bunch other people shout. Everyone is cheering. I mean, a lot of people are.

The annoying man is not happy at all.

“WE DID IT!” I shout to Bob. He smiles. I see a lot of people with big smiles on their faces. Then, something unexpected happens. Suddenly, everyone notices Bob.

“Oh my god, there’s a Potato!” Everyone crowds around the Potato.



We all go back to my house and throw up signs and banners for how happy we are.

“Now maybe I can adopt a Potato!” Steve says, and we all laugh.




Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *