The So-Called First Book of Stickman

Prologue

A note from Stickman: Hi, my name is Stickman, and I am the richest person in the world! Not to brag or anything… but today I will tell you how by going in this time machine!!! Um, guys… I said — in this… time machine.

The TV producers looked at each other. “We forgot to bring the fake time machine.”

Cue to an hour later…

Producers call, “Action!”

“As I was saying… the time machine!”

Two seconds later, Stickman ends up in his kindergarten class.

Oh, that’s why when I was little random time machines appeared out of nowhere.


Chapter One

It was a Saturday. He sees himself as a little kid trying to sell everybody Pokémon cards and gum. 

Stickman: “Yes, I was selling products since I was a kid. But I did get in trouble once or twice. Or three times. Or the whole school year… ”

All the cool kids had Supersoaker 3000’s and leather jackets. But me? Probably just wearing my Ninja Turtle’s shirt and my bag full of products. And at the end of the day, I always have a hand full of money and put them in my piggy bank! It was full of 1, 10, 20, and even 100 dollar bills! I even bet my family tries to steal my piggy bank! And that’s why ever since I was 10 years old I spent 500 dollars on a high tech laser lock and a pressure plate trap, which was later used as a chair… Anyway, that’s why my family probably hates me from the overwhelming alarm. By the time my brother goes to college, he will probably be deaf.

Speaking of college, when I was 18 I got accepted into Harvard Business School. At first I got a $1,000 scholarship, but soon enough I did magic and got a full scholarship (by scolding the school council) and started my first year. I threw away all my Pokémon products and filled my backpacks with instant coffee! I became an instant hit (soon enough I went into instant tea and instant noodles).

And no, it is not magic or anything…

Anyway, that’s when I met Centman.

Centman was a jerk. When I sold Cup Noodles, he would tell on me, then sell them himself to have less competitors. You might be asking, “Why didn’t you tell on him?” Well, my little fans, he would lie and find any way to change the topic and get me in trouble! Da da da da!!!


Chapter Two

Ever since kindergarten, this little rascal and I were put together in the same classroom.

The teachers would always say, “Ohhh, you’re best friends. You’re just debating, not arguing.”

But to tell you the truth, we hated each other. And hated each other’s guts. He was very annoying, and he was just horrible. He would always wear a beanie and a red T-shirt I didn’t like. (Sometimes I think he’s wearing the same shirt every day. Ew!) Not only that, as I mentioned for some reason we always get put to the same class every year! By the time I was in sixth grade, we both expected to be put in the same class and have the teacher say “you two are friends!” over and over again! And that is why he will always be there and haunt me… 

For example, when we were seven years old, at recess he tripped and cried, and once the teacher came to ask what happened, he told them that I pushed him even though I was like 300 feet away!!!

That’s why we hate each other. But now I think that I was the person who pushed him because I got a little carried away when I came thought the time machine… Anyway I’m not in NASA, so I don’t know how the time thing works. Oh, that’s why we hate each other… Anyway, uh, now I feel bad for him. So back to the story! But even though I did push him once, what I did to him was not even close to what he did to me. I bet if I counted the thing I did to him compared to the things he did to me, it would probably be 1 to 100,000,000,000,00,000,000,000,000,00,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,00,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.000,000,000,000,000,00.

You might be wondering, When is the story of how you got rich? Well, hold your horses because that story will start at the next chapter.

(Note: There will be a big prank I will do to Centman in the end. Stay tuned.)


Chapter Three

Today I am back in the present thinking of my big master plan.

So I ran to my table and put a big piece of paper and started my plan. And this is when I realized that in all of those action movies it is harder than it looks to forget everything and think of a plan. So for the next three hours I thought and I thought. In the end I came up with a bunch of lame pranks and in the end none of them worked. Oh no, I forget to tell my life story, so stay tuned.

The End… for now


Sneak Peak for Book Two. Rules: Do not tell anybody. 

Stickman: “Hi fans, I’m back and better than ever, and today is the day I will tell you the story of my life… after I drink this coffee.”

One hour later… 


“Ahhhhhhhhhh, much better. Back to the time machine.”

*This is not sponsored by Back to the Future.*

“If I can find the on button… ”

Two seconds later, he ends up at his college.

“Ah, back in the day… ”

To be continued… 


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