One day at home, Zeef’s family was farting because they ate so many beans. Zeef’s brother, Veef, was six, and he was eight. His sister, Keef, was fourteen.

They were all sitting at the dinner table eating beans, but Zeef hates beans. Really, it was breakfast. And next thing you know, there was a gigantic fart, and then Zeef decided to try to become the fart detective.

Zeef thought, It stinks! It stinks! It stinks! It smells like rotten eggs, poop, rotten tomatoes, and dead rat bodies.

He went around the whole table to sniff everyone’s booties. Keef thought it was a fly and smacked her butt, which was Zeef’s head on her butt. And then she farted again. He fainted.

Zeef said, “Never, ever, ever fart again, and I’m talking to everyone in here.” He wanted to find out who farted and give them the biggest spanking ever, even though they were his family, and he would probably get in trouble.

“If you’re going to be a fart detective, just don’t go around sniffing everyone’s butts,” Keef said.

“Well, that’s the only way I can do it, so you just better get used to it.”

Zeef’s dad said, “You can’t go around sniffing everyone’s butts, so I suggest you either go in the room or eat your beans and start farting like everyone else.” Zeef’s dad was looking really stern, with his legs crossed and arms folded.

Zeef’s mom said, “Exactly.”

Zeef ate some beans and let out a huge stinker. He thought it smelled like roses, but he was kind of embarrassed. He just stayed where he was and tried to hide it.

Then, Veef let out the biggest stinker you’d ever smelled, and it stunk really bad. It was the worst one that you’d ever smelled since the last time your mother farted, which was yesterday.

Veef said, “I’m not going to say excuse me anymore because I think it’s fine to fart at the table and not say excuse me.”

Zeef said, “Well that’s obvious. No one said excuse me, not even me.”

Veef was pulling his hair because he was getting a little tired of the booty talk.

Zeef said, “I’m going to go play with your Legos, Keef.”

“But I thought you were afraid of Legos because they hurt your feet when you step on them,” said Keef.

Zeef didn’t even remember that he was scared of Legos. So Keef reminded him. Zeef couldn’t take it and hide his embarrassment anymore, so he just left, went to his room, and went to sleep.

The End… for now…