My name is Shealia. Don’t be surprised when I tell you this, but I am not a person. My true identity is a printer. I work at the FBI. You may be thinking, That can’t be terribly interesting. But in my 24-year life, I have soaked up thousands of juicy secrets. Don’t get me started on them!! 

I looked at the clock on the wall. It was 5:21 am. Smash! Crash! The sound of broken

glass filled the empty floor. I heard frantic yelling, then, a man in a pitch black full body-suit raced down the hallway and dove under me. I was astonished! I knew the FBI held very important documents that any decent crime-committee would want, but not to brag, my building is probably the safest in the state, even the country. I wish I was allowed to move, but the still-object code requires that I (you guessed right) stay still.

All of a sudden, a whole police brigade broke into the building, adding to the chaotic environment. The head police officer accidentally bumped my print button. That was it! I printed out in my neatest font: Under me! 

The police spun around, looking extremely confused. The head police officer read my message carefully, then motioned to another police officer who checked me for booby traps. Of course I did not have any. Why would I in the first place? A third police officer shrugged and as quick as lightning, the head police officer got down on her knees and crawled under me where the robber still was. I could tell that he was petrified. The police officer neatly captured him in one swift, silent move.

Fifteen years later… 

My name is Shealia. I am the most famous printer in the world. (The only one for that matter too.) I have won the Purple Heart for my bravery and the Nobel Peace Prize for my peaceful approaches to robbery. I am the best friend to the head of police, an activist protesting against the still-object code, and a detective to the police, all thanks to that fateful night.