“Mmmmm! This is good,” said Olracnaig, as he munched on a Big Mac at McDonalds. He was alone, after school, at one of the tables in the back. He loved bottle flipping, but he sucked at it. He couldn’t even flip a regular bottle on the table. He was so jealous of his friends because they were so good at it and he wasn’t. He just wanted to get a little bit better. Maybe eating some more will help me feel better. He thought. He decided that he should try to flip a bottle that he had in his bag. He took it out and prayed to God. “Please, let me make this bottle flip.” He got ready to flip. Three… two… one… flip! He saw the bottle in the air. THUD. The bottle laid flat on the table.
Olracnaig felt depressed. No matter how much he tried, he could not get better at bottle flipping. After he finished his Big Mac and fries, Olracnaig decided to head home. As he was about to cross the street, he saw something on the huge McDonald’s sign. It looked like the bottle that How Ridiculous used. (How Ridiculous is a group of men that makes bottle flipping videos on YouTube). Sure enough, it was. Before he knew it, he was climbing up the pole to get the bottle. At last, he was on top of it. He was about to grab the bottle when he lost his grip and fell off the sign. But, just as he was falling, his right hand grabbed the ledge of the sign and he was able to hold on. He pulled himself up and grabbed the bottle. “Yes!” He said. He now had the bottle. He climbed down from the sign and got on the bus. At least Olracnaig had the bottle.
When he got home, he took the bottle to his room. He sat down at his desk and flipped it. It landed! He tried again. Again it landed! He kept flipping the bottle and it always landed. The bottle always landed. He decided that he needed to test it out. He took the bottle and decided to flip it on top of his building. It was twenty flights up. He took the bottle and flipped in the air. It landed on top of his building! He decided to do a crazy thing. In the morning, he got dressed and put on his clothes, then took the train to Fulton street. To the One World Trade Center. Once he got in, he took the elevator to the top of the building. He got to the rooftop. He looked down. Man! It was scary being up that high! Olracnaig took the bottle and flipped it over the side of the building. Down and down the bottle went. He saw it descend towards the ground.
Olracgnaig woke up in the morning. Feeling drowsy. He got on his phone and went to YouTube. He looked at the most popular video. He saw somebody, on top of the One World Trade Center, flipping a bottle off of the roof and having it land on the street. He couldn’t believe his eyes! All of a sudden, Olracnaig’s phone was ringing. He picked it up.
“Congratulations.” The voice said. “This is the NBFA calling to let you know that you have been accepted into the the bottle flipping championship for the NBFA. Your video was amazing!”
“What does NBFA stand for?”
“National Bottle Flipping Association.”
“Oh.”
“Do you want to be in the finals or not.”
“Absolutely.”
“Well, then what are you waiting for? Say yes.”
“Yes.”
“Alright. You and How Ridiculous will be competing in the finals.”
“Wait, what?!”
“I said, you and How Ridiculous will be competing together in the finals.”
“Great. I’m in.”
“Great. Do you have anything else to say?”
“No.”
“Then, you’re in.”
“Wait, what do I have to do?”
“You have to stop talking to me and hang up.”
“I mean, what do I have to do in the finals?”
“You have to flip bottles.”
“I mean–”
“Just shut up. You’re in the finals. Be happy now. Got it?”
“But–”
“Got it? Alright. Now I’m going to hang up.”
Jesus! They could have been there all night. Who hired that woman? She was so terrible at her job that she only made one tiyin a year (a tiyin is from the country Uzbekistan. It is the world’s least valuable coin. It would take about 2,546 tiyin to equal just one penny). But, at least he made it to the finals.
Olracnaig woke up in the morning, excited. He had a big day ahead of him. Today was the bottle flipping finals. The finals were in Los Angeles. Wooooooo Hollywood! Here I come! I need to start packing. He packed his clothing and his special bottle. He couldn’t lose it or he would be doomed. His dad drove him to the airport and left him there. Olracnaig looked for his plane and got on it. Shortly after he left the ground, he remembered that he forgot to take his pills, so he might do something crazy.
Sure enough, Olracnaig felt an urge to open the window of the plane and get on one of the wings and flip a bottle on the plane while it was moving. So, he smashed the window with his laptop, and the whole thing crashed into little bits of glass. Luckily, no one heard because they were all on their phones listening to music. He pulled himself out the window. Bam! A gust of wind knocked him off his feet. Olracnaig pulled himself up on the wing of the plane. He grabbed his special bottle and flipped it on the top of the plane, and it landed. Bam! Another gust of wind knocked Olracnaig off of the wing and he flew through the air. He quickly grabbed the edge of the wing just by his pinkie.
But, then the bottle flew off the end of the plane and descended towards the ground. Oh no! Olracnaig couldn’t just let his bottle get away from him like that. So, he pulled himself up and laid down, exhausted on the wing. He climbed back through the window and grabbed some rope from the emergency closet in the plane, climbed out the window, and attached the rope to the wing. To save time, he dove off of the plane, next to the rope, so he could grab the bottle when he neared the end of the rope. As he fell, he thought of his family and how they would be so devastated if he died. They would be so sad. He would let them down. But, he was sure it was not going to happen.
So, Olracnaig quickly grabbed the rope. Phew! That was a close call. He grabbed the very end of the rope. The rope was so long that he was just above one of the Great Lakes! He looked around for the bottle and saw it! It was drifting away in the water! Olracnaig jumped off of the rope and swam towards the bottle. At last, Olracnaig had it. He swam back toward the rope and pulled himself onto it. He didn’t have any more strength to pull himself up to the plane.
“Please, bottle,” Olracnaig prayed. “Help me get to the plane. Don’t let me die. Just let out your magic powers and do something. Help me get to the plane so I can win the finals. Please. Just do something.”
At that moment, the bottle skyrocketed up while he was holding onto it, as if answering his prayers. Olracnaig could see the plane! He wasn’t going to die! But, the bottle stopped shooting up and he started to fall back down towards the water. But, he grabbed the edge of the wing with his pinkie fingernail, while still holding onto the bottle with his other hand. But, after ten seconds of holding on, Olracnaig couldn’t use any more strength and fell toward the ground. Bam! He hit something hard. He looked at what he hit. It was another plane! Some people got out of the plane and climbed on top of the plane, where he was lying. They had AK-47s and M-16s!
They were going to kill him! But, he could see his plane in sight too! He was saved! He kicked the guys in the nuts, and they fell off of the plane and died. But, there was only one more guy left to get rid of. He had a gun in his hand and was about to shoot Olracnaig. He heard the trigger click and he saw the bullet coming his way. It was like they were in a world of slow-mo. He saw his fate coming towards him. Closer and closer and closer. But, Olracnaig wasn’t going to let himself die like that.
Olracnaig quickly did a flip, while the bullet passed him and hit the tail of the plane. All of a sudden, the plane caught on fire and came crashing down to the ground. He saw the flames creeping toward him. He saw his plane hovering above him. But, that plane was falling down, too, since everyone in it was freaking out, and the pilots couldn’t control the chaos. But, it was falling faster because it was a jumbo jet, and the one that he was standing on was lighter. Soon, Olracnaig’s plane was below the plane that he was standing on. He couldn’t stay on this plane any longer, so he flipped over the guy with the gun and landed on his plane that was heading to Los Angeles. Or used to be, anyway.
Once he got into his plane, Olracnaig went to the cockpit and thought about flying, but then he stopped. He had no flight lessons, so he could endanger all of the humans on this plane. But, he needed to get to Hollywood, and so did the people on the plane. So, Olracnaig grabbed the handles and started to fly the plane. He had to admit, he was actually pretty good at it. He flew the plane all the way to Los Angeles. Once he got to the airport, Olracnaig snuck off the plane and took a bus to the hotel that he would be staying at. Once he got to his room, he fell asleep on the bed. He was so stressed. It had been a long day.
Olracnaig woke up feeling pumped. Today was the day of the finals! But, how could he beat How Ridiculous? They were so good at bottle flipping. But, Olracnaig had the bottle. He was safe. For now. Then he heard a knock on his door. It was the people who were taking him to the finals. They took Olracnaig to their bus, and they drove off to the building where the finals would take place. The place was an auditorium with three balconies and posters all over of Olracnaig and How Ridiculous. Everyone was screaming. There were two gigantic TVs on the stage.
This was how the finals went: Both teams went out, to any destination they wanted, to do the craziest bottle flip ever, and they only got one try and if the bottle didn’t land, then all the other people just had to flip and land a bottle to win. The two TVs showed footage, from cameras, that were on the teams everywhere they went to do a bottle flip. Olracnaig decided to watch what How Ridiculous would do and then do something. When he walked out of the building, all three members of How Ridiculous came up to him and said all together, “You’re going down, boy. Ain’t no shrimp boy gonna beat us.”
Right when Olracnaig heard them say that, he felt so scared. But, Olracnaig knew he could win. If he just believed it. He watched on the TV as How Ridiculous flipped a bottle on top of the Burj Khalifa (the tallest building in the world). But, then he looked closer and saw that they were using the bottle. And it was no ordinary bottle. It was the magic one! Olracnaig ran as fast as he could to his locker room. He looked in his locker and saw that it wasn’t there. How Ridiculous stole it! What was he going to do? Olracnaig was just going to try. But, how could he beat flipping a bottle onto the Burj Khalifa?
Olracnaig decided to do something crazy. He grabbed a regular bottle and walked just outside the building. Then, he threw the bottle up as high as he could throw. He waited. He walked back in the building and watched on the TV as his bottle soared through the air. Somehow, they had put a camera on the bottle. He saw the bottle going up… up… up. And then, after a couple minutes, they all saw the bottle land on the moon. And then, he won. The best thing was that Olracnaig saw How Ridiculous crying. All of the members cried. He hated that group now. Yeah, that was pretty much it. He won, there was nothing much more to explain. Olracnaig was crowned the greatest bottle flipper of all time. What more could he wish for?