So once there was a beautiful raisin with beautiful hair. Her name was Berniece. She was going to the supermarket to get more salt and sugar to make salty sugary water. Berniece put on her sun hat and stepped outside. When she got outside, Berniece burned her wrinkly skin and got a rain jacket to not get burned. Once again, she got outside with her beautiful sun hat, rain jacket, and taco bag.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” a random stranger yelled. “I’m having a — I need a taco bag. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

Berniece was very annoyed by this random guy’s tantrum. Luckily she had a 30-inch sized megaphone in her taco bag.

“Stop throwing a tantrum! Jeez!” yelled Berniece.

So the random stranger rolled away. He had no gender, so it was just trying to get lots of attention like the song “Attention.” A very good song. It also wanted lots of tacos because it was broken and also wanted a taco bag. After all that commotion, Berniece was only 120 centimeters away from the supermarket and her salt and sugar. She was walking and walking, but then a giant wrecking ball came out of nowhere and blocked the pass to the supermarket. The only way to get to the supermarket was to be Miley Cyrus and swing on the wrecking ball.

“Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!” Berniece screamed with joy.

After the new Berniece Cyrus was done with her musical number, she dropped, stopped, and rolled right into the supermarket into the salt and sugar aisle. She put her salt and sugar in her taco bag and got them for free. So she got outside with her free groceries, but then Miley Cyrus popped out of nowhere and swung away with her wrecking ball.

So Berniece was driving her beautiful Lamborghini home after she finished swimming in 300,000 gallons of cranberry juice. When she went to go park her Lamborghini, she saw her jam jar of mail, and there was a magical golden letter that said… 

Congratulations! You are invited to the most fancy clancy lunch ever.

Berniece was flattered that she was going to eat fancy lunch in a fancy house. So she got her most fancy taco suit with her matching taco purse, not a bag. After she got her outfit done, she put sugar in her hair so she could be sweet. (Cringy.) Berniece was all ready for her fancy lunch. At the fancy clancy lunch there were 1,000,000,000 pizzas. There was also a guy with bunny slippers and french fries as a hat and 100,000,000,000,000,000 tacos. The host of the fancy clancy lunch was wearing a pink, fluffy unicorn outfit with 100,000,000,000,000,000 Chipotle sandwiches. It was a beautiful fancy clancy lunch. So Berniece left the fancy clancy lunch with 300 gallons of cranberry juice and 50,000,000 chipotle sandwiches.

So, after Berniece left her fancy clancy lunch, she went to her muffin house and made 300 gallons worth of cranberry gelatin in her house to last her 69 weeks of pure gelatin. She would leave the leftovers for when Russia and America start a feud.

Berniece is very stubborn because she keeps on getting invitations to important missions that just randomly happen. Very, very suspenseful… so, Berniece went to her jam jar of mail and saw… (suspense)… another letter to join the Russia Government Corporation. Berniece got her 300 gallons of cranberry gelatin for the one year in Russia. After she got to Russia, she got a computer and exploded McDonald’s, Chipotle, Wendy’s, and Burger King by exploding all the food and tables and chairs.

After Berniece finished exploding food and furniture, the Russian government wanted Berniece to destroy Taco Bell with boom boom explosion. So Berniece was very disappointed that she needed to destroy Taco Bell. Berniece didn’t explode Taco Bell, but she exploded Russia instead. So, at the end, Berniece left Russia with new, cool hacking skills and secrets. She went home with her gelatin and new computer from Russia. And her brand new car from Russia. So Berniece went to go drive in her new car all the way to the Los Angeles beach. And she got her tan on.

Berniece was burning in the sun. She was in raisin form, so she saw the sun burned a hole in her muffin house. So, Berniece got her pool noodle and 50,000 beach chairs and her Dora towel and (temporary) boyfriend Barney and her DJ set. Barney went to wrinkly beach because they are raisins. The beach was in a sandbox. So, they put down their stuff and music. Berniece put on the song “Señorita.”

So, Berniece was the new Jesus because she separated the water with her pool noodle because she dropped her spoon. So, she washed her spoon and ate her Taco Bell taco and fed the birds tacos and put some in jail because they attacked her. Then after the birds attacked Berniece, she got all the sand and her 1,000,000 meter shovel and dug a hole all the way to her muffin house because she forgot her sunscreen. She also needed her Berniece limited edition figure. Barney got lost at sea on a cruise. So, Berniece left the beach single.