My Days as a Spy

I woke up this morning and realized I overslept. I threw on some clothes and ran out the door. I was just in time for the school bus to pick me up. I hopped on the bus, running to take my usual spot, next to my best friend, James. He looked very tired, I noticed. I pretended to be even more tired.

“Why are you so tired?” he asked.

“Oh, um, I- I was up doing homework, obviously.” I lied to make myself seem like a better person. James yawned loudly. He stretched his arms and pressed his nose on the window so it would be foggy. Then he wiped off all the fog. I fake yawned even more loudly and hoped it sounded real. I hoped he was not playing video games until 1:00 in the morning because I was only playing until 11:00 at night! I can’t let him know that. “Why are you so tired?” I asked suddenly.

“I was up doing homework until 12:00,” he replied.

I took a deep breath. “Yes,” I said to myself. I finished my homework at 8:00.

Suddenly, the bus came to a stop. We arrived at school. I walked as slowly as possible out of the bus and to the doors that led to the inside of my school. There was a large fountain with water pouring down outside the school. This girl, I’m not sure what her name was, had her shoulders up and looked tense. When she walked past the fountain, her shoulders went down and her face relaxed. She looked back at the water, and then bumped into a pole. The sound of the water seemed to calm or distract her. I chuckled to myself.

“You don’t see someone that ignorant everyday,” I said to James and patted him on the back.

When I entered school I dragged myself to the poetry room with my crazy and hippie teacher, Ms. Williams. Today we were going to write poems, I remembered.

“Think of things you like and your poem will arrive in your head,” she told my class and hopped around in a whimsical way. So I did what she told me and thought of things I liked. I made a list in my head. 1: Me. 2: Frappuccinos from Starbucks. 3: I can’t think of anything else. I sat there for a long time. I even tried hopping around in a whimsical way with my hands together and one leg in the air, but the poem never arrived.

I told Ms. Williams that I had poet’s block.

“Improbable!” she yelled at me. I turned my head with a dumb look on my face. It can’t be me she’s yelling at, I’m perfect. “I’m talking to you Zach!” she screamed at me. I stared blankly at her face, my mouth hanging down, drooling. Why would she yell at me? Something told me at that moment, something weird was going on with my usual calm, relaxed, peaceful, and hippie poem writing teacher especially because of the fact that out of everyone, she decided to yell at me, the perfect one. I intended to find out exactly what was going on. Just if you were wondering, it’s not like I’m worried about Ms. Williams. People say I’m nosy, but I prefer to say I like to know what’s going on with other people.


Spy Day 1

I woke up early this morning because I wanted to look as snazzy as an actual spy. I put on my cool, black sunglasses, my flashy watch, and wore a fedora hat to get myself in character. I looked so cool. I hoped no one would question my outfit. Wait, but why would they? I always look stylish. I told my mom I was leaving early today to get a frappuccino from Starbucks, but actually I was going to use my Starbucks money to take a cab to school since I was too early for the bus. I adore how tricky I am. Sorry, back to the plan. When I got there early, I would locate Ms. Williams and stalk her all day. I would ditch all of my classes which I do all the time because I’m way too good for school.

I walked like I was in a hip-hop performance to the cab, got in and directed the driver to Millsbury school. I’m as cool as a cucumber. Don’t tell anyone I just said that. Geez, “cool as a cucumber,” where did I get that from, my mom?

Anyways, ten minutes later, we were there and my search began. The driver handed me his card and said, “Good luck, kid.” Then he winked at me. It was like he knew me and everything I was going to do.

“See you soon,” I said that because I knew I would call him again.

When I walked inside the school, I saw a janitor on the phone with someone. I don’t think that he saw me because he was talking about how bratty and snobby the kids are at our school. How we don’t pick up our trash, don’t clean up our spills, and so on. I wanted to yell at him and fight back but, no, I remembered that I must remain unnoticed when I am a spy.

“This is going to be harder than I thought,” I said to myself.

I ran around the corner to the stairwell and didn’t look back. I hoped to find Ms. Williams sitting in the teachers’ lounge, but I know things aren’t usually that easy. If she is in there, there will probably be a catch. So when I went upstairs, I remembered that I had to expect the unexpected. I guess I’m just cool like that. I attempted to do a forward roll but I failed and landed on my stomach. I got up, brushed myself off and pretended like nothing happened. I looked back at the stairwell. Anyone could be following me at any moment. When I finally got to the teachers’ lounge, I peeked through the window to find Principal Blinkman giving Ms. Williams a lecture. What?! What did she do wrong?! I made a list in my head. 1:Calling me, her star student, out. 2: Making things sound very easy.

“Never mind,” I said to myself.

I decided that I wasn’t going to skip my classes because I do it so often that I was going to fail 5th grade. Lets just say I’m sort of regretting skipping yoga and math all the time so I could go to Emack and Bolio’s with my friends. As you could probably not imagine because you most likely have NOT ever been a spy before, I couldn’t stop thinking about the lecture all day.

Sorry about that guys. I’m just really cranky and annoyed at myself because I missed my chance to figure this out. Well, I’ll get back to you guys tomorrow. I have to go do my homework. (Did you get that joke? Who actually puts effort into their homework?)


Spy Day 2

Today, I’m a pro spy. I have experience and I know how to look cool doing everything. I’m even better than Mary Poppins. After all, she’s only practically perfect. I wore the same hat and watch and an all black outfit. I got compliments from everyone yesterday. Again, I lied to my mom. I called the taxi driver. I got in the cab and the driver already knew where I was going. I knew that I wasn’t going to mess this up today.

I didn’t talk to the taxi driver that day. He didn’t talk to me. It was silent. I think he was on to me. I don’t know if I will call him again. He looked at the back seat and said, “See you in ten years.” What’s that supposed to mean? He’s really freaking me out now. My final decision: no tip today.

I got to school and saw the same janitor, but this time, he was waiting for me.

“Look, it’s a bird,” I yelled.

“What?” he said stupidly and turned his head around. I didn’t think I could get by that easily. I ran up and peered in the teachers lounge again. This time Ms. Williams and Principal Blinkman were walking in and left the door open. All the other teachers rushed in and sat down rapidly. The door remained open.

“We have a very special announcement for you,” said Principal Blinkman.

“We are getting married,” squealed Ms. Williams with delight! My mouth dropped open and made the shape of an “O”. I’m done now. No more spying for me. Three words: Too much information.


Spy Day 3

Sorry guys. I was overreacting. Wait – or was I? You guys wouldn’t know how much stress this is, because you’re obviously not spies. And even if you were, you would never find out anything because you would be terrible spies, unlike me. So you know what? I’m gonna go back to bed, and stop spying because you guys are being so sassy. You already know too much! Goodbye. Mission accomplished.



This was written in the year 2005, when Zach was in 5th grade. Today, in the year 2015, Zach is an international spy. He has never forgotten you, but is afraid to talk to you again. He wishes that I tell you thank you, from him.



Zach’s guardian angel, the taxi driver

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