There was some boy named Jeff who got a report card. He was called the funniest kid in the class. He liked to play basketball. The scores he got in school for tests were pretty good, like A’s and B’s. He was waiting day by day for his report card to come. The whole school was talking about it. He was so eager to just ask the principal to see his report card. It comes in June, and school ends in June. It was June 1st. He dashed to the mail, and he saw it, his happiness. He ripped it open and saw…
Math: A+
Writing: A
Reading: A
Social Studies: A
Science: B
Art: B+
He was relieved by what his eyes saw. He ran inside and banged the door so hard he hurt his hand. His mom opened the report card, and he scrambled past her and jumped on the couch. He wanted to go to sleep and wait for the next day. Then, he was learning the capitals of the states for homework. He had to listen to “Tour of the States.” The lyrics were long.
But he listened to it in second grade, so he already knew it. So, he went to sleep and sleepsung. (I don’t know if that’s a real thing.) He sang a song he didn’t even remember. Also, he dreamt about the NBA team Golden State Warriors winning the championships. While he was sleeping, he fell off the bed and didn’t wake up.
He woke up at 12:00 A.M. midnight. He figured out his favorite song. He didn’t like the capital song, so it couldn’t be that. He ate breakfast that early. He didn’t know why. He changed and got ready for school and then slept in a chair, waiting. He went to school that day thinking about the song and completely forgot about the report card, and he didn’t know if anyone was talking about it. He was zoned out. He could barely even finish his work. For homework, he had to type a realistic fiction essay. He was thinking hard of an idea.
He got it! The song! He was thinking about it the whole day. He could write about it! He actually had a big idea about that. He typed three pages until 10:00 P.M. and then fell asleep on the computer. He dreamed of the report card. The same day happened again, except instead of dreaming about the song, he dreamt about the report card. But today, he was chatty. In school, he said to everyone, “What did you get?”, but no one got their report card. He was completely confused.
He finally asked the principal, and the principal said, “There has been a misprint.”
Jeff said, “That means mine isn’t correct?”
“I’m afraid so,” said the principal. Jeff fainted. The principal thought he was dead.
“Oh no!” the principal yelled. “I need to call 911!”
The police arrived, and everyone at school came. The policeman said he is still breathing and then…
“HOLA!!!” said Jeff.
“OOOMMAAYYYGOOODNEEEEES!” said the science teacher.
“Guess you don’t need me no more!” said the policeman like a cowboy. Then, he jumped out of the window.
Then, the mob of people slowly left the room. Jeff got up and asked the principal, “Why was there a misprint?”
The principal replied, “The printer is broken.” One last person hiding behind the printer bolted out of the room.
Jeff asked the principal, “Can I try to fix it?”
“If you think you can,” said the principal.
Suddenly, Jeff started using his black belt karate moves like kicks and karate chops on the printer where the paper comes out. The papers were stuck in a position that they couldn’t come out in, but the karate chop shook it into the regular position. Then, papers started rapidly coming out of the printer. “IT WORKED!!” yelled the principal. Then, the principal said, “Everyone will have their grades by this evening. I need to sort them.”
When Jeff went out of the office, it was already the afternoon, and he had two more classes which were math and language arts. The principal gave an excuse for missing class to the other class teachers. Jeff started carefully running down the hall with joy. He made sure he didn’t get caught. There was a rule against running in the hall at school. Once he was near the class, he started walking, so the teacher wouldn’t see him running. He was two minutes early to class, so he could read. He read the book called Report, and the author was named Jay Tikoo. The moment he opened the book, everyone came in and class started, so he had no chance to read. The word about the report cards easily spread throughout the whole school. Everyone realized what Jeff did, and soon everyone was asking him questions about the printer. When he got home, he was relieved because he had no homework because the teachers heard that he fixed the printer. He wasn’t asked any more questions. He waited the whole evening at the mailbox waiting for the report card to be delivered. He couldn’t wait. He was so eager he was practically jumping up and down. Then, the UPS truck came to their house. The man at the wheel gave the envelope straight to him. He ran inside, threw off his shoes, and ripped it open and saw…
Math: A+
Writing: A
Reading: A
Social Studies: A
Science: B
Art: B+
Then he said, “Whaaaaa?” Just then, he realized that both of the report cards were the exact same. “I am very confuzzled.” He read his book after that and finished it. He realized to never get your hopes too high.