Saving Santa

The other elves rush into the room. We watch the newly updated YouTube video. I see a woman on the screen with a scratchy voice, a plasticky face, and green-tinted hair speaking.

“Yeah, I so wish Santa was real! Shame he’s not…”

I scowl and clench my fists. Nasty Grinches spreading lies! I watch underneath as the video accumulates dislikes and comments like:

“You ruined my childhood!”

“I wish there was a warning! Grrr!”

“Santa’s not real?”

“OMG! I’m so sad! My childhood is a lie!”

The Grinches have been doing this a couple years after Santa started delivering presents. They are trying to whittle down Christmas cheer until Santa’s sleigh can’t get an inch off the ground.

Then I know what will happen.

The other elves desperately try to comment, “She’s lying!” but the bunch of YouTube-goers don’t believe them.

“This is a disgrace. Santa is real. This is outrageous!” says an old elf.

“I am very sad people are forever spreading stupid rumors like this. Every time someone says ‘Santa isn’t real,’  a baby elf dies. 90,000 elves have died this year! It is too bad.” I open another video.

“Santa is not REAL!!!! He is a lie. All you people who believe in Santa are living under a ROCK!!! SANTA ISN’T REAL. SANTA ISN’T REAL. SANTA ISN’T REAL!!!!” the video says.

I shake my head in disgust. Santa is obviously real… how can nobody tell? Who else did they think put the presents under the tree? Parents just pretend it’s them at a certain age so that the kids don’t get laughed at for knowing the truth.

I type a comment. “Santa is real. Also, because you said ‘Santa isn’t real’ four times, you just killed four baby elves. No wonder the elf population is going down. You monster.”

I get a reply a few minutes later. “Obvious troll.” How dare they say this! Isn’t it obvious that I’m an elf, not a troll? Uncultured swines. I bet they’ve never seen an elf in their life.

I tell this to that person in a reply, but then I turn off my computer. I need to do something about this Grinch menace. I can’t take their Christmas-ruining any longer! It’s absolute madness — something must happen.

I think of a plan, but it’ll be difficult. What I’ll need to do is climb into the house of the Head Grinch and punch him in the face. The reason why this will work is that Grinches believe that elves are weaker than them: this is why they say that Santa isn’t real, because they’re not scared of our retaliation. If I punch the head grinch in the face, they’ll all realize that elves aren’t weak. And slowly, they’ll stop mocking Christmas and ruining the spirit.

I get into my car and drive away from my house. I don’t know his address, but I’ll know it when I see it.

Finally, after hours of driving, I recognize a cave. This is it!

The Head Grinch will lose today.

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