Once upon a time there was a person named Hugo Steler. He was a thief and one day, he stole a purse from an old lady that had a library card so she could rent books from the public library. So he went to the library and picked out a random book. He didn’t know how it worked so he took a book and went outside, but the owner never saw so he was free. He read the whole thing and thought, “This isn’t anything important.” Then he read one page that told him about a world that was always green and exploded two trillion years ago. And so he thought, “I can make a new world, and I can live there. I can put my house there and I’ll have the biggest house in the world.” So he went looking for some clues to how to rebuild the world. He took one more book from the library. He read on one page that said if he finds a certain book, it will have a formula that creates a person that will tell him how to make the world again. So Hugo looked around and found all the ingredients. He needed a really, really special color that was called babu and then he also needed a really really really small bookcase that could fit into a glass. He put them all into a small container and he shook it and also put in a little bit of water, and after that it made a really really light yellow. Then, a little part of it exploded out so Hugo went away and took a rag to clean it up, but it burned the rag! So he took the formula and put it in a secret container and then after a week, a new person came. That person told him everything to make the new world.
To make the new world, he had to get the best drawing in the whole world, and a piece of grass. So he was looking in the museum when he saw a giant painting but it wasn’t a painting; it was more like a scribble. It said, “The Best Painting in the World.”
But he hadn’t read the end of the directions, which was the most important part. That was, “The Best Painting in the World…for the stupid people.” SO Hugo took the painting but the guards saw him. They said, “No one can take the painting!” Then they said, “You can take that. That’s just a dumb drawing.”
Hugo said, “No, it’s the best painting in the world.”
The guard said, “That’s the best painting in the world for the stupid people!”
Hugo said, “Ohhhhh.” He looked in every single museum but he never found the Best Painting in the World. There was only the best picture for dumb people, or the best picture for people who never shut up. So, he just went to a chamber and said, “Why did I look here? It doesn’t seem important.” But there was a secret room. “Maybe it’s in here!” He walked and opened the door. It was so smelly! He almost passed out. But right in the middle of it was the painting. “If I can get past that wall of stinkiness, I can just use a portal.” So he ran to a bank and said “Can I have all your money, stupid person?”
One of the stupid bank people was writing a stupid report of how bad their bank was and there were nothing but baby stories all about the horrible bank. Hugo thought that the bank was actually the best. But they called it the Bad Bank. That was the name of that awesome place, but Hugo never was able to get money there. They were so mean, but it was an awesome place. So he ran to another place, but he had no idea where he was, so he just randomly went into a store and looked to see if there was a bank but there were none, and he went into a house and asked them for money but he was never able to find anything. So he just went to a random place that he never knew if it was even a place. It wasn’t a place. It was nothing. He started falling and falling and falling but then land came into view. But there were a million trampolines where he was. He went through 999 of them but then he started bouncing as high as the empire state building. He bounced so high he went right through all the trampolines. He crashed through the dirt and then he started falling again and there was nothing again. Then another land came into view and it was Heaven.
In Heaven, he got as much money as he wanted to buy diamonds to make a portal. The bad thing was, the only thing he needed after diamonds was impossible to get. Unless he killed kill a million zombies! He never thought he could defeat them, but he got armor and a massive sword and so and so. Then he started looking for zombies but there were no more. So he gave up and went back to another world through a really small elevator and that world was the building world. So he just found a random house with a bed in it and went to sleep. When he woke up, he found a fake person in the room. He still didn’t feel like looking so he just opened the door. And there was the owner of the building right in front of him. But when the owner got so angry he fell onto the ground and turned into a zombie!
And then he yelled “7bytfgyrudhnygtfj8d3huyfrgrtefhiduh!”
After he said that, a million zombies rose from the earth. But Hugo wasn’t armed. The armor and the sword were on the other side. He thought, “If they look over there, then I can run.”
So he said “Hey, look, zombies!” He found the decoy on the edge of the door so he ran to get it and threw it as hard as he could. Since the zombies weren’t that smart, they thought that was him. So they ran after the decoy and jumped on the decoy. But there was one zombie that was smart enough to not run after that decoy. So, Hugo just took a grenade he found under his bed. He knew zombies in this world were really quite like dogs. So he just threw the grenade and the zombie ran and tried to get it and when he did he exploded. And then Hugo ran as fast as he could to the other side. Then he took his suit of armor that was laying on the door and put it on as fast as he can and got the sword. And when the zombies weren’t looking, he swiped his sword and since they were all bunched up he chopped off every zombie’s head.
He got the piece of paper that the ancient artist made. The piece of paper just appeared in the sky, falling down like a butterfly that had been shot by a gun. But then an evil dentist that had super shoes that let him jump super high appeared, and then he took the piece of paper and ran off.
But Hugo always had a gun in his pocket so he shot the dentist and won. That meant he could make the new world.