1. He never listens. Whenever something great happens at work, he doesn’t care. He just lounges around the house doing nothing, as if he expects someone to eagerly attend to his every need. I don’t think anyone would like to do that, so why should he expect it?
2. He always ridicules The System. Ever since I was born, I’ve known what it was like to live in a world where everything is programmed to fit your personality perfectly: your family, your school and job, your health, even what you’ll eat for breakfast the next morning. The select few who program it are called the Givers because they give everyone perfect lives. And he hates them. He thinks that they can’t figure out what’s right for everyone. It makes me silently angry because it’s like he thinks I’m not right for him. I don’t understand why — we’re destined to be together, and I’ve done nothing more than be his servant.
3. He hates dogs. I don’t think I need to explain this one.
4. He tells me to be “more like other girls.” I find this one of the most irritating things he does. When we walk around the streets and see a pretty girl, he asks me — rudely, might I add — why I don’t look like her. It takes all of my strength to not hit him, because the Givers may be watching through their cameras and think I’m insane or have found some sort of loophole through the system. If I show any signs of hatred towards my husband, the Givers will know. They will find me and then probe me because I’m some sort of mistake against the System. They don’t want anyone to know their Mistakes. I’ll be thrown out like week old trash, just like the other Mistakes. Then, I’ll be forgotten. So, whenever he compares me to another girl, I count to ten in my head. Then, if he doesn’t speak in those ten seconds, I remind myself of how much we’re supposed to love each other and that he is my soulmate. He must care. But if he talks in those ten seconds, I’m one inch from losing my mind. I’ll twitch, and he’ll know to stop. Well, if he were really perfect, he would. But, he usually just keeps going. I swear I can see the cameras zoom in on me whenever he does this. Those cameras are the only reason I don’t go mad. It would break my heart if I turned into a Mistake. If my parents would find out, I’m sure they’d question why they’d spent their lives trying to fix someone who was destined to be wrong.
5. He hits me. Whenever I do something wrong, he’ll punch me or kick me or find some way to hurt me. Like if I bring dinner a few minutes late, or I refuse to do his errands for him, or when I get sick. He hates when I get sick. He calls me a “good for nothing, lazy, spoiled piece of — ” I always shriek before he can finish, so I can block out the pain. This makes him even madder. But I don’t like cursing. It breaks my heart when I see him split out of his normal and calm character because of me. At least I hope it’s his normal character.
6. He doesn’t like my family. I’ve read the manual of “The System” multiple times (you know, the one that comes with every house?) because I’ve wanted to see the things that my soulmate actually accomplishes. Chapter 4 – Soulmates pg. 178, rule #256 — your soulmate is especially chosen to like the things and people that you like to assure a perfect match. But if he doesn’t like my family, my friends, or just my life… then how is he perfect for me?
7. He gambles. Every Saturday, Friday, Thursday, and Tuesday night he goes to a new friend’s house from 6 p.m. to 3 a.m.. I tell him not to, especially not on the nights when he has work the next day, but that only makes him even madder. He’ll break vases, threaten to harm me (and usually succeeds), and yell until I cry hysterically. Then, he tells me not to get on his bad side again and stomps away. I stay on the ground for hours, crying from the physical and emotional pain. When he comes home, he makes me make him food, but by the time it’s done, he’s fallen asleep on the couch and doesn’t wake up until noon the next day.
8. I’m the only one working. He quit his job. His boss had a meeting with him about the amount of work that he wasn’t doing, and he decided to quit the “stupid job.” Now he lies around the house, and I’m the only one who makes money. He doesn’t even try to get a job. He just expects me to stay home and serve him more but also leave him alone and make more money.
9. He’s an alcoholic and drug addict. Often, I find spilt bottles of vodka, empty bottles of wine, and shattered pieces of Guinness bottles all around the house. He’s always angry and thinks that his life is the worst, but he never seems to think about me. I’m sure that if the cameras were still in houses he wouldn’t do all of these terrible things as often, but ever since 2015, when the cameras were released from homes, he started to make my life even more miserable. And he buys drugs in alleys where the cameras are shot out. I keep wanting to report him as a Mistake, but I know that they would never trust a woman. Chapter 8 – Reporting Mistakes pg. 421, rule #480 — a woman’s word against a man will not be trusted.
10. I am not his soulmate.
I don’t want to be a mistake, though.