I was baking day and night, dirty covered in butter and egg, 

and butterscotch, to make my famous whipped

Cream. Then I went to the fair to win the whipped cream contest.

The merry-go-round spins like a bunch of animals jumping in the forest

I smell fried oils and funnel cakes at the concession stands                                                 

I seek what looks like a fortune teller

in a tent who didn’t look like they had a job

I’m going to win the whipped cream contest,

The grand trophy and 10% discount on Safeway food

And 100% off Whole Foods for life. 

On the way home I was as happy as a kid gets when his parents say you can have 10 sundaes tonight. 

Then the heat of the sun makes me so pale

And I burst into flames, and then I think

How do I get home? Home is love.

It’s where your family is. It’s where I live

In my parent’s basement.  And my only family

Is the Xbox.  

2 years later, I become a worldwide celebrity because I gave food to the poor. 

I also became a world-class poker player, but I still live in my parent’s basement 

The reason I still live in my parent’s basement is because I spend so much money on the nice hotels 

And first class on the planes all for poker.

When you’re poor and you still live in your parent’s basement when you’re 30, enter the whipped cream contest.