“Dad?”
“SON! What HAVE I told YOU!?”
“Sorry. I know. No learning cantrips without finishing my homework.”
“And find your spellbook! Otherwise I can’t teach you!” Grumbling, Peregrine backed out of the room and started walking out of the grounds. He thought about how he should be learning right now. Sure, he was 10, but was advanced at magic. His father just did this to annoy him. He knew where the book was, he dropped it when he saw an ogre. He walked to the centre of the forest and grabbed it from a ditch. He suddenly hit the ground as an earthquake rocked the ground. He knew what was happening. The volcano was erupting. He ran towards an oak tree and jumped into to a hole. Then, the firestorm erupted. Peregrine waited it out and thought sadly that he wouldn’t see his annoying dad ever again.
Peregrine went towards the other nearby town, Far Lands. He had seen enough ogres to last a year, and was extremely annoyed with Rupert, his pseudodragon, for constantly nipping him. Also, he hated the kappas for eating his cucumber. He was also annoyed with the brigands for trying to steal his stuff.
There was a rumor that the leader was still on fire. He carelessly was going through the forest, and occasionally blasting kappas. He wandered into a clearing and was suddenly aware of an arrow in the trunk of a tree. A BLACK ARROW. He slowly turned around knowing that he would see orcs. A rasping voice that caused the mind to spring towards death, trash, rancid meat, and for some weird reason, Metallica. Probably just the axe guitars. Anyway, it spoke.
”Give us shiny or pointy things go chop!”
(That meant give us stuff or else.) Peregrine turned out his pockets. His spellbook. That would take too long. Chocolate. YES!! Wait, no, it was 10% cacao, not 100%. He sighed in defeat. Then, an orc spoke.
”Pointy ears! Pointy things fly! No fair! You surprise!”
An orc fell to the ground gurgling. Peregrine rubbed his fingers together, on the off chance this was an arcane tree… An explosion of arcane magic blasted him, the orcs and an elf. The resulting explosion caused several pounds of Arbitrarium to be created and turned the orcs into potted plants. Peregrine lay on the ground, shaking and unconscious.
Peregrine stepped to his feet, shaking and sparking with arcane potentiality. He lifted his hand which was smoking, aimed and shot a bolt of fire at the wall of ice, fleeing from that horrible…
He stepped to his feet and wandered to the gate.
The gatekeeper relaxed. It was a sorcerer. This made it easy. Peregrine stepped up and the gatekeeper yelled.
“Get! Go to the castle. Go, go, go, gooooooooo….”
Peregrine ran into the castle and locked the door. He took a step and looked at the carvings. A roar shook from behind him. A blast of cold air knocked him to the ground. Peregrine stepped to his feet, shaking and sparking with arcane potentiality. He lifted his hand which was smoking, aimed and shot a bolt of fire at the wall of ice, fleeing from that horrible dragon. He ran towards the next room and focused his mind on blasting the dragon’s snout. The dragon busted his head in and turned. Draconis frigis, ice dragon, is a formidable enemy without E-Z-Mage’s Dragon Killer. Peregrine sprayed this stuff as the dragon exhaled. A puff of air reached him as he stumbled outside and to town.
6 years later…
A young man with red hair wandered around in the dungeon. The lich had to be here somewhere. A squeak issued from below as a jar fell over. The lich’s soul in a jar was annoyed. He had been playing cards until the jar had smashed and the lich disintegrated. Well, he thought, now we can play.
“I’ve got Death, Immortality and Arcane.”
Conscience chuckled.
“I got Good deed, Hero, and Rincewind.”
Flaws whooped.
“I got Rincewind, Luck and Hero!”
The others cashed in their impulse chips, and reached for their beers.
Peregrine jumped and rolled as a curse blasted the bars of a cell.
“Stay still, you blithering halfling! Just let me curse you once!”
The lich raised his hand and unleashed a necrotic ball of magic, just as Peregrine countered with a 9th level Imprisonment spell. The two arcane forces began to clash, slowly moving towards the lich. The lich struggled to keep the necrotic energy moved towards him, unleashing the spell. The air around him distorted and he reappeared inside an emerald in Peregrine’s pocket.
Peregrine wandered through the dungeon aware that the lich lord was coming. Lich lords were almost impossible to defeat. The air stiffened.
“Emproisonen!”
Peregrine ducked as a bolt of magic struck above his head. He drew his sword and swung it, intending to cleave through the lich lord. At the last second, the lich lord threw up a set of mage armor, the sword cutting through his wraps. Pale, white flames danced along the lich’s robe, burning the robe and disintegrating his bones. The lich lord crumbled to dust, but not before hitting the sword away. Peregrine grabbed it, fingers wrapping around the hilt, which was phoenix shaped. Phoenix. That was the sword’s name.
Peregrine grabbed the ball of pure magic that was rising out of the ruins. The pain was unbearable. Ever shifting colors blocked his vision. He fell off and into the now growing chasm…