Qwercle is the size of a human’s stomach. He has thorns at the end of him, and has three long pink things in between and next to his two top thorns. He uses his long pink thingies to eat and drink. Although he has a mouth and two fangs for teeth, he uses his two fangs to drink blood out of people. Qwercle lives in a human-free territory, but everyday he goes out of his human-free house into the world where it is full of humans.
Everyone tries to hurt him, but he ends up sucking the blood out of them before he can get to them. He was known as the bravest of all the Kilafricks. The Kilafricks are known for the bravest of all vampire animals and vampires.
Qwercle has always wanted to get lukewarm Kile-Human Cake. But, there is a big rainbow fence blocking him from his delicious cake. He imagined the cake tastes like one million humans with flesh roasted and grinded bones. Qwercle imagined the cake would have one hundred humans in it, which would be the most amazing thing to taste in the entire world. If a human ever tasted something as amazing, it would have to be one million pieces of candy of your choice every second.
When he couldn’t bear another second, he decides to take the journey.
He decides to go out of his yard with his spatula and frying pan and pogo stick, (to jump over the fence.) He starts jumping through the woods, all the way through the village, and finally, after going a million miles, he arrives at his friends’ Gary, Harry, and Arry’s house. Their house is the complete opposite of a mansion. Everything is thrown around. Their house only has one room. There’s no bed, there’s no sink, there’s no bathtub. There’s no kitchen and the most important thing that they don’t have is a toilet! But Qwercle doesn’t care. He says goodbye to his friends. He was about to leave when Harry says, “Take me with you!”
Qwercle is so surprised and says, “No way! This is my journey to get my treat!” When Arry and Gary argue too, Qwercle says, “Alright you can come, it’s three versus one.”
They start their journey. The first thing they see was a marshmallow-breathing dragon. When the dragon sees them, it starts breathing marshmallows at them. Qwercle takes out his frying pan and they all lie perfectly in it. The marshmallows are magnetized to the frying pan. Qwercle knew this would happen and that’s why he brought the frying pan. The good thing is they have something to eat. Once they got past the dragon they start to eat.
They are amazed when they see Zilaons. A Zilaon can be very dangerous to a Kilafricks. A Zilaon looks like two million hundred kilafricks all put together. And they are big blobby things that say, “Bleh, bleh, bleh.” They are red from all the blood they eat from the Kilafricks. They have ten hundred million big teeth that they use to drink the blood out of the Kilafricks. Kilafricks taste like the perfect piece of candy that any human has ever tasted, and they get to eat that candy whenever they want without getting sick.
The Kilafricks have feared the Zilaons for 999,999,999 years. The Kilafricks made a deal with the Zilaons that they would stay on their side of the valley if the Zilaons stay on their side of the valley. The Zilaons accepted the deal so that they could have their own part of the valley.
Qwercle is trying to avoid the Zilaons from seeing him, because he doesn’t want to break their deal with the Zilaons. Qwercle doesn’t want to endanger the rest of the Kilafricks and have his species go extinct.
Right then, a big Zilaon says, “Hey, is that a Kilafrick in our part of the valley? I thought we made a deal.” He shouts to all his knights in frying pan armor, “Get them!”
Then Qwercel says, “Don’t you dare! Or I will throw this marshmallow at you!” And he holds his fist high above him with a marshmallow the size of a fly in his fingertips.
Everybody else laughs at him, even his friends. They said, “And what are you going to do with that marshmallow?”
His face turns pale. He says, “Um…um…it will turn you into frogs?”
“I don’t believe you. As a matter of fact, I don’t think your marshmallow can do anything. Guards attack!” the leader of the Zilaons yells.
The guard says, “But, but, what if his marshmallow can turn us into frogs? What if we have to live in an icky pond and eat flies for the rest of our lives?!?”
The leader of the Zilaons says, “There’s no such thing as magic, you silly fools! I should just fire you, get someone else to do a better job, and have you pay me one million Kilafricks along with your lives!”
The guard says, “But Sire, we have nothing we can pay you. We don’t even have a single drop of blood!”
Meanwhile, Qwercle is frozen with his friends thinking, Are we going to die? Are we going to survive?
All the stress was on the leader and the guards, but the Kilafricks didn’t realize that they could just run away because of all the arguing going around near them.
Next, the leader of Zilaons says, “You fools! Must I do everything myself? Now I shall raise my sword above you and you shall suffer death!” He runs to his workshop, gets his sword, ties them up and raises his sword above.
“But, but, but,” say the Zilaons. “Who will be your soldiers? Who will protect our tradition? We are the only ones. Please don’t sacrifice us!”
“You fools! Why do you think I would believe you. Of course there are others and I will just sacrifice the others if they say no. But of course they won’t because they would rather live than die. Especially live to be my slaves.”
“You are right master. We have made that up, but please don’t sacrifice us. ”
“Oh, all right, but if it happens again, you are toast,” says the leader Zilon.
When Qwerkle and his friends realize that they could make an escape, they start to tip toe off. They didn’t get far when they run into a trap. “Barnacles,” Qwerkle says softly. The other Kilafricks keep their mouths quiet. The Leader Zilaon turns around and he sees them and says, “Ha ha ha! Did you really think that you could get away! You lousy Kilafricks, you’ll never defeat me! Wahahahaha!”
The Zilaon have dinner and eat Qwercle. The rest are scared. But they are able to escape before they are eaten. They make a run for it and see this big wall. They see a pole and use it to jump over. When they get over, they see what they’ve always been wanting. A lukewarm Kile-Human Cake. The lukewarm Kile Human cake is as tall as ten-thousand ten-foot tall men. They eat it all and then throw up. They are so happy they got the treat. But they are so sad that they lost Qwercle. Meanwhile, the Zilaons invade the Kilafricks and very few survive. The very few that survive are very lucky, but they got injured. While Qwercle was sitting in the Zilaon’s stomach, he was thinking about how he was disappointing everyone. And he was also thinking about how the Zilaons could have invaded the Kilafricks and how everyone could have died because of his wants and decisions.
He felt remorse.