The Adventures of Taco Dog

Once upon a time there was a half dog, half taco, who tried to fit in but never could. To get a friend he wanted a pink, fluffy unicorn dancing on a rainbow for a pet. The problem was the pink, fluffy unicorn dancing on a rainbow shop just closed down. So Taco Dog wanted to go through the Enchanted Potato Woods. Everyone told him, “Don’t do that. It’s too dangerous.” But he never could fit in so he was determined to get someone who could share similarities with him. They were both different and lonely, and that’s why he wanted the pink, fluffy unicorn. If he was going to go into the woods he needed some gear. He went to the armory shop and got a marshmallow machine gun, a lightsaber, an old lady costume (hey, it was almost Halloween), and some banana armor. He also got some Pokemon that weren’t in the show that were never mentioned before, like Narwhalia and Farkillababajejaba.

He proceeded into the Enchanted Potato Woods and heard the sound of a rabbit. It was most terrifying. He started to walk into the Enchanted Potato Woods and he got goosebumps all over him, then geese started to pop out of the goosebumps. He found something that seemed like a shapeshifter. It was strangely shifting into all of the things that he saw in the last movie he watched. He was mad that he watched a horror movie. He watched the new Goosebumps movie. He saw a dummy named “Slappy.” He shot marshmallows out of his machine gun but Slappy started eating the marshmallows on the floor, so he got away from him. He took the banana caller out of Slappy’s pocket. After the encounter with Slappy, he started throwing up rainbows because he was scared. He scooped up those rainbows into his pocket for the pink, fluffy unicorn to dance on. In the Enchanted Potato Woods, he met his arch nemesis, Pizza Cat. They both put Jawa hoods on and drew out their light sabers. Strangely floating around their light sabers were tacos and pizza, since they were battling each other.

The pizza cats were sworn enemies with the taco dogs ever since the taco dogs were created. The taco dogs were created when a dog who really liked food walked up to a taco that fell on the floor. Just before he started to eat it, when he touched it, lightning struck and that fused the taco and the dog together. The same thing happened to someone else, and those two taco dogs started to make a taco dog civilization. The same thing happened with Pizza Cats. A cat got fused together with pizza. The pizza cats were very, very, very, very boastful. They thought that they should be the only race of food-animal mixes so they declared war on the Penguin Hot Dogs, the Lemon Mice and finally, they declared war on the Taco Dogs. The Taco Dogs were very, very wealthy so it was a very hard war to fight. The thing that triggered off the war with the taco dogs was that they were allies with both the Penguin Hot Dogs and the Lemon Mice, so the Pizza Cats threw an atomic marshmallow bomb at them. They created a Taco Dome, very much like the Iron Dome in Israel but to block the atomic marshmallow bombs they shot taco happiness and quesadillas from Taco Bell (Taco Bell was their national monument). They wiped out every single taco dog and pizza cat other than the two food animal mixes that were fighting right now with the lightsabers.

Taco Dog was having troubles with his lightsaber, so he called out to his Pokemon Narwhalia. Pizza Cat was stunned and called out his never before seen Pokemon called Munchcahn.

Then Taco Dog said, “Use cute tackle.”

A bunch of cute anime animals started to dance around. Munchcahn said “Awwwww!” Then they all got mini-lightsabers and stabbed Pizza Cat.     

   Munchcahn summoned “big mac.” A giant hamburger fell out of the sky and landed on Narwhalia, covering him completely. Then one million french fries stabbed Narwhalia. Then he started singing annoying jingle that went super fast saying, “Two all beef patties special sauce, cheese, lettuce, pickles, onion on a sesame seed bun.” Narwhalia fainted to the ground.

Taco Dog took out his Farkillababajejaba which summoned a banana bomb. A banana full of bombs exploded. It smelled like chocolate covered bananas when it exploded. Munchcahn flew away into the middle of nowhere. But Pizza Cat had returned his Munchan into his pizza-cat-customized pokeball. Taco dog said, “Why are you even here?”

Pepperoni tears fell down his cheek. He choked back his tears and said, “I’m lonely so I’m looking for a friend on the other side of the woods.”

Taco Dog said, “Me too.”

At the same second he remembered the unicorn! Both Taco Dog and Pizza Cat realized that they were both lonely so the similarity could bring them together and they could have a great relationship. Pizza Cat told him all about his journey so he could know what to watch out for, and Taco Dog did the same. They both agreed that when they got to their destination they would come back and conduct experiments to make more of their kinds. Then they left each other and continued on with their own journeys.

Taco Dog started to get hungry so he took out his banana caller from his pocket and pressed a button. Suddenly a big plane flew out of the sky that looked futuristic and dropped a giant box of bananas. He opened the banana box and took one out and started to unpeel it, but then a bunch of tiny garden gnomes that were only an inch high hopped out of the banana peel and started stabbing him. Then a bunch more tiny gnomes rolled out of the bushes.

Then they all held hands in a circle and screamed at the top of their lungs, “Boo baa boo baa boo baa boo baa.” Then they all sung together “Two all beef patties, special sauce, cheese, lettuce, pickles, onion on a sesame seed bun.”

And then one of the oldest garden gnomes walked and climbed up Taco Dog’s paw and said, “Greetings. I see that you are the last of the ancient species called the Taco Dogs.”

Taco Dog was at first a little confused, but then his eyes were wide open. Stumbling upon his own words, he asked, “Are you the gnomes who were allies to the Taco Dogs of the past in the Food War?”  

They said, “How did you know?” in a high squeaky voice.

“I learned about the war in the most evil place of all,” said Taco Dog. “History class.”

It gave the elder gnome the shivers. Then the elder gnome said, “Why are you here?”

Taco Dog answered, “I’m trying to find a friend.”

The elder gnome jumped up and said, “Would you like some of my warriors to protect you while going through the forest? They’re practically indestructible. Here, stomp on them as hard as you can.”

All of the gnomes were squished to the ground, but in five seconds – pop! – they came back up.

Taco Dog said, “Yes.” He walked forwards while the warrior garden gnomes followed him excitedly. He tripped on tripwire and then a bunch of evil, purple monkey-marshmallows heard an alarm. They got really mad and started spitting grapes at them. The grapes were sharpened. The garden gnome warriors kicked the grapes, redirecting them back to the apes, protecting Taco Dog. Then he used his banana caler and put the bananas a million thousand feet away. He called for the bananas to be extra banana-y. The scent slowly followed into the monkeys’ noses while they ran into the box of bananas.

“That was close,” said Taco Dog. He must have jinxed himself because then a bunch of really, really small narwhals started dancing around. It was the narwhal battle dance. Then they climbed on each other, forming a giant narwhal with a peculiar horn that spelt out “Narwhals Rule.” It was following Taco Dog. Taco Dog was cut. Meat was pouring out of his taco shell. He then got so aggravated that he summoned lightning to strike him to become a charged super Taco Dog. He held the garden gnomes hands and span in a circle at the center of the narwhal, constructed by narwhals. The narwhal construction blasted into one million, thousand pieces, and the narwhals then scrambled into spelling, “Ouch!” Then, they ran back into their little narwhal houses.

The Taco Dog collapsed on the floor, because he was tired and injured. The garden gnomes scrambled up a tree, picked up a leaf, and used some honey to paste it on the Taco Dog’s wound. The Taco Dog held out his paw while the garden gnomes climbed on, and he clutched them to his chest in an empathetic way. In this sky, he saw Flicklebickletown, where his pink fluffy unicorn dancing on a rainbow was waiting. He rushed over, passing the exploding pineapples and the evil sixty-eyed, one-foot, seventy-hundred-eared, twenty-headed, seven-hearted blowfish. The blowfish called out, “Hey, I was supposed to fight you on your journey!”

Taco Dog called out behind him, “Shut up! This is making the story more happy.” He frolicked into the Pink, Fluffy Unicorn Dancing on a Rainbow Shop, took out his glass eye (that was the currency in Flicklebickletown). The unicorn leapt into his arms, the garden gnomes blew their noses on mini tissues, since the sight was so happy. He took out the rainbows and the unicorn joyfully, with big round, bright eyes, jumped up and started endlessly jumping on the rainbow.

Then Taco Dog said, “I made so many friends in the forest I didn’t need to get the narwhal!”

Taco Dog wiped his tongue off with his paws. “Bleh,” he said. “I hate when the author puts these sappy words into my mouth. But it’s true.”

Then, Taco Dog brought them all back through the Enchanted Potato Woods, where the monsters were celebrating Taco Dog’s achievement. He invited all of his friends to dinner, and they all had ham bologna nugget biscuit chicken flying rainbow M&M whipped cream hot chocolate dancing sheep sandwich with one million calories, two percent trans fat, 32 percent carb, 99 percent sugar, and twenty percent sodium, with gravy. They all sang songs from the Wizard of Oz: “Ding dong, the witch is dead! Which old witch? The wicked witch! Ding dong, the wicked witch is dead!”        

They all then became the most popular people in Taco Dog’s school, because they went through the Enchanted Potato Woods and lived. But in the end, Taco Dog would have been fine even if he wasn’t the most popular. He just was glad he had friends.



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