The Book of Man Bun


Man Bun Goes to Hawaii

One day in Washington, D.C., Mr. Man Bun, the man with eight sideways (∞) money, wanted to spend money, so he thought I’ll go buy useless items. But he already did that, so he said, “I’ll go to a tourist trap.” But nope, he did that already too.

I’ll go to Hawaii, Man Bun thought, so he bought tickets, and bam, 5K gone. He wanted to waste more, so he got a massage. Not enough wasted. He got surf lessons, and everyone knows that surf lessons don’t help you learn. So now finally that he had lost enough money to be happy, so he went back home happily.


Man Bun Goes to Best Buy

One day in Washington, D.C., Man Bun wanted to play video games, but he only had the Nintendo Switch, the PS4, the Xbox One S, a Game Boy, a Game Boy Color, and the Nintendo 64 and every single game ever released on every one of those consoles. So Man Bun went to Best Buy, where he first bought the biggest flat screen TV on the market! Next he thought that was such a good dealonly five trillion dollars for one TV. Okay, now Man Bun bought every single game he already had, so he had two of each. Then he bought the whole store, and it took five years, but he owned Best Buy, so he went home and never ever played any video games even though he owned Best Buy.


Man Bun in London

Man Bun was in Washington, D.C. and wanted to spend money again. He thought and thought and found a place: London. So he went in a first class Fly Emirates jumbo jet and lost about 35,000 dollars. Next, he ordered a meet and greet with the Queen and tackled the Queen and took a Bobby’s laser gun and suit and blasted Big Ben, and next he blasted every pod in the London Eye then got tackled and fined ninety-nine trillion dollars. He then bought the Big Ben and the Eye and ordered them to be rebuilt.


Man Bun in New York

Man Bun was making profit in Washington with Best Buy, but he wanted to be seen. So he went to New York. First, he went to Times Square. He bought five of the screens and used them to put up pictures of his face, but it was not enough. So he went to the owner of a taxi company and offered 100 quadrillion dollars, and he bought twenty taxis.


Man Bun Saves Antarctica

Man Bun was in Washington, D.C. and wanted to spend money. For 20,000 dollars, he took a first class plane to Antarctica. On this plane, there was no menu. You could just tell them what you wanted and they’d make it.

“Could you make me a burger plain with five burgers in it?” Man Bun said.

“Okay,” the chef replied, and made him a burger.

In Antarctica, Man Bun saw the global warming problem. So he contacted all his friends that were scientists and hired about 20,000 more scientists (actually just random people hired and trained to be scientists). Then Man Bun told them to freeze all of Antarctica in one huge cooler, which would cost three million to make because of all the plastic.

Then he built a mountain out of ice and called it “Man Bun Mountain.” It was shaped like his head, Man Bun and all. Underneath Antarctica, Man Bun had an ice mansion built. It had 28,000 ice skating rinks and double the number of fridges (that’s 56,000 fridges). Afterward, he flew back home in the same plane, spending two million dollars along the way. But not before he bought eleventy-seven planes and filled them with polar bears and sent them to a giant replica of the North Pole (in a giant cooler). It was a polar bear wonderlandcopied and pasted from Antarctica. People loved the idea and started donating money to him, and he became even more rich!


Man Bun Goes to the Amazon

Man Bun was in Washington, D.C. and wanted to spend money. After thinking about Antarctica, Man Bun wanted to do more to save the environment, so he flew to the Amazon. He asked a tree if he could enter the Amazon. It said nothing. So Man Bun went in and immediately got attacked by a tiger, and then sued the tree because it didn’t protect him or warn him of tigers.


Man Bun Goes to Writopia Sleepaway Camp

Man Bun was in Washington, D.C. and wanted to spend money. It was the summer and he wasn’t doing anything, so he figured he’d go to a sleepaway camp. He had gone to Writopia last year. He remembered the picture on the wall of a bunch of people who had gone to the sleepaway camp. They looked happy, so he decided that he’d join them. He helped Writopia by buying them a bigger lake, more canoes, more cabins, and more counselors. People heard about these big improvements. It spread like crazy. Because he contributed so much, Man Bun became the owner of Writopia Sleepaway camp, and people saw this, and he earned large amounts of money because he was so successful.


Man Bun Goes to Vegas

Man Bun was in Washington, D.C. and wanted to spend money.

“What about the casinos out west?” a friend said to him.

He drove out there immediately. First, he tried the slot machines. He kept losing money. In two hours, he was down 10,000 dollars. Next, he almost lost two million, but somehow won the jackpot playing poker. The prize: “Two-thousand-million-trillion dollars!”

So Man Bun went up to the prize counter and said, “Give me my thousand million trillion dollars or I’ll blow up the casino with the laser I stole from the Bobby’s in chapter four.”

“We don’t actually have that money,” the clerk-lady said.

“Well, then I’ll do it.”

“Fine, we’ll give you the casino for free.”

So Man Bun then went home to tell his friend that he owned a casino. His friend asked, “What are you going to do with it?”

“I’m going to have Miley Cyrus destroy it with her wrecking ball.”


Man Bun Makes an App

Man Bun was bored one day and decided to make an app to give away money. Customers would buy the app for ninety-nine cents. They’d just press the amount of money they wanted (it would go up to two trillion), and the app would forward money to their credit card.


Man Bun vs. Bill Gates

Man Bun was in Washington, D.C. and wanted to meet another rich man and thought of Bill Gates, so he called Bill Gates on speed dial. They met up and Man Bun wanted to spend money so he said, “Money battlefirst one to run out of money loses.”

So Bill Gates bought a gold plane, boat, car, and train. Man Bun bought twenty billion planets, including one starthe Sun. Bill Gates bought a diamond planet. Man Bun bought twenty diamond planets. Bill Gates was out of money and that is why Bill Gates has no more money. Bill was like, “haaaaaaah.” Man Bun was fine.


Man Bun Goes to Paris

Man Bun was in Washington, D.C. and wanted to spend money, so he took a magic sub to Paris. First, he went to the secret room in the Eiffel Tower, next he got a billion croissants, next Arc de Triomphe, and last he went to the Louvre but that’s normal, so he parachuted from the room in the Eiffel Tower.


Route 66

Man Bun was in Washington, D.C. and was bored, so he took a road tripbut to where? Oh, a water park. He started the road trip and immediately got bored, so he played the license plate game. When he got there, he jumped into the pool with no bathing suit and no clothes so he was naked and fined lots of money. Next he went in the waterslide and did not let anyone through the end of the slide.


The Happiest Place on Earth

Man Bun was in Washington, D.C. and was bored, so he took his private jet to Disney World. Man Bun is afraid of roller coasters, so he wanted to overcome his fear and went on Space Mountain and Thunder Mountain. He screamed and at the end of Space Mountain was pale, but he loved Thunder Mountain. It was relaxing because it was so black and he was now okay with roller coasters. To make himself feel better, he had to sing to himself a lullaby, “Hush little Man Bun, don’t you cry. Momma’s gonna buy you a hundred bucks.”


Man Bun: The Movie

Man Bun was in Washington, D.C. and wanted to spend money, so he took a train to Hollywood. In Hollywood, he went on the set of Percy Jackson to stand there and look at a set. Next, he watched Hamilton for 6000 dollars and later bought a mansion to do nothing with. Man Bun was still in Hollywood and decided to make a movie. It was going to be like La La Land, but about Man Bun’s life. It’d have two perspectives. It’d have Emma Watson, Skylar Astin, Daniel Radcliffe, Anna Kendrick, and Rebel Wilson. Daniel would play Man Bun. Skylar would play the Bobby from when Man Bun went to London and Man Bun’s friend. Anna would play a scientist from Antarctica. Rebel would play Bill Gates. With all the actors and props and shots, the movie cost twenty million to make. Man Bun made all his money back from the people who saw it in theatres, plus two trillion more!


Man Bun and the Final Frontier

Man Bun was in Washington, D.C. and wanted to waste money in a big way. To spaaace! So Man Bun got people to make him a rocket ship and it cost about twenty dodecahedrillion. Next he got in and went to space! He owned every star ever, so he was on his property when he got to Neptune. He took his Man Bun hair to protect him, and he liked it there. He stayed for many days watching The Martian and doing the same as Matt Damon. He ate potatoes, and on the last day, when he got in and went back home, he saw Earth destroyed and went back to start a new species on Neptune. The species had Man Buns and were resistant to the cold. They had eight sideways (∞) money and loved animals, and Man Bun was the leader and lived happily ever after.


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