The Weird Things


Hi I’m Caden. Remember [it changes everyday] not to ask my [I count time differently] age. I am a good swimmer. In the ocean there is a brick wall. Each brick is a different color. If you touch the wrong brick you will get trapped in a brick [same color] wall. Inside there is no ocean anymore. It is la la lupsy land with mount [the fruit] everzest. I HAVE A MESSY GARDEN [it is in weird places] with beautiful plants and foods people take and eat, and/or sell at day.

Zzz. I woke up, I went outside… my garden was gone! Wwwhaaahhhttt. The garden, not the plants! Somebody stole my garden. I climbed my house [I am good at climbing [grabbing on, not walking] walls] to the roof.

“Who stole my garden?” I asked.

My magic chimney said, “Stinky Fat Fart Guy ate it.”

I was a little afraid that he might eat someone else’s garden.

 THE the the the END eeennnddd. 

DO NOT MISS THE NEXT BOOK: THE MISSING MAGIC CHIMNEY                                                                                                   



My magic chimney is magic. It is made out of slime and every time something falls inside, it bounces out. The chimney talks and knows who did everything. It knows what whoever did what. So a while ago Stinky Fat Fart Guy ate my garden. I gave him an oven that gives him any food, drinks, or money.

Zzzz. I left bed [I stood up]. I went to the fireplace to talk. Sometimes when I was outside, I looked outside at the chimney, and when I was inside, I looked up to talk. But my magic chimney was gone. Since it was gone I could not ask it. I was unhappy because I was afraid something would disappear that belongs to someone else. Zzzz. I walked outside. A big red  book was sitting on the roof in the chimneys spot.

It had no pages, only the front and back and a note that said, “Find the three pages.”

Zzz. I woke up. Three pages appeared and said:

“Dear Caden,

I took a vacation to the Philippines. I will come back soon. Sorry it came late.

From, the Magic Chimney.”

THE END               

Do not miss the next book, The Missing Pet Turtle, book three.


Do I have a  pet turtle? YES. I bought him perfectly YESTERDAY, which was twenty-four hours ago in my time. I wanted to have something in case the chimney was gone.  He lives in a GIGANTIC TANK.

Zzz. I could not find him. Since he was big, he might be far away from where I am looking. I jumped into the tank and put on a scuba-diving outfit. I swam and he was gone. OH NO! My magic chimney is still in the Philippines. My pet turtle was one of the things I cared about.

Zzz. A medium white envelope was floating in the tank. The letter said, “Dear CADEN, All your strawberries disappeared. From, THE MAGIC CHIMNEY.”

Their was a hole in the word “your.”

Zzz I woke up another  envelope was in the tank. The letter said, “DEAR CADEN, One turtle is in the ocean. From, the Magic Chimney.” There was a hole in the word “turtle.”

Zzz. another envelope was in the tank. The letter said, “DEAR CADEN, THE MERMaids wanted TO EAT BANANAS. FROM, THE MAGIC CHIMNEY.” There was a hole in the word “wanted.” Zzz. another envelope was in the tank. It said, “YOUR STRAWBERRIES WANTED TO SEE ME.” There was a hole in the words “to see me.”

THE  CODE said “MY TURTLE WANTED TO SEE the Magic Chimney.”

The end.

Next book: The Missing Mountain


Now the Magic Chimney came back. I told the Magic Chimney, “Take care of my turtles. I bought another one and I named the green one ‘Tur,’ and the blue one ‘Tle.’ I’m going to dinner on Mount Everzest.”

I went to a restaurant called Dancing Bananas and Chickens!!! The menu was:










I ordered chicken congo lines and dancing bananas for dessert. I came home. I looked at Mount Everzest. It was GGGOOONNNEEE. Not the stuff on it.The MOUNTAIN. I told Tur and Tle and the Magic Chimney that it was gggooonnneee.

       The Magic Chimney said that mountains move over time. Now it was in Los Angeles. I visited Los Angeles, and the mountain has the Palisades, part of Santa Monica, Westwood, and Brent Wood. I came back.


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