“Next in line for a hotdog, oh and just a reminder: one of these hotdogs is poisoned. As if I care, though…”
Act One
Scene 1
MOLE GIRL
What are you doing Buuck
BUCK
I’m just waiting in line for my hotdog, but now I think it will come up.
MOLE GIRL
What’s that supposed to mean. He yar. Sorry I have he yar ittis, hei.
BUCK
Yeah…
LUNCH LADY
Next in line for a hotdog, oh and just a reminder: one of these hotdogs is poisoned. As if I care, though.
BUCK
That’s mine. Bye!
LUNCH LADY
Here you go, uhgg it’s you.
BUCK
You hate everyone at this school.
LUNCH LADY
Next!
BUCK
Hi guys, guess who I ran into in line for lunch.
JACK
Creepy Mole girl.
JOESF
She has a name!
JACK
Yeah, but no one wants to know it.
BUCK
Ugh. This hotdog tastes horrible!
COOL CLAIR
I over heard some ones hotdog tastes horrid. Rumor says that if your h-dog tastes hor you have the poisoned one.
BUCK
My stomach hurts!
Scene 2
SCHOOL NURSE
It looks like you did get the poisoned hotdog. I’m afraid if this hotdog stays in your body you might have to go to the hospital!
BUCK
Do I have school leave early today?
Joesf: More importantly, will he be okay?
SCHOOL NURSE
Yes, and I’m sorry but maybe.
BUCK
Should I go and grab my backpack?
SCHOOL NURSE
Yes.
Scene 3
BUCK
Guys I’m really nervous, do you know if I’ll be okay?
JOESF
We don’t know, we know it’s okay to be nervous right now.
JACK
Don’t be a scaredy-cat. Be a cool-cat.
JOESF
Are you insane, or do you have brain problems?
BUCK
Guys we have to tell the teacher that I’m leaving early.
JACK
Don’t be a goodie two-shoes
BUCK
I’m just worried, what if I die. I feel pain within me. Dieing!
Act Two
Scene 4
JOESF
Buck just died from the poisoned hotdog.
MOLE GIRL
Oh no! Buck is dead. I hate the Lunch Lady.
JACK
Yes, no one panic.
JOESF
Yes panic, Buck is dead.
MOLE GIRL
My highschool sweetheart. The Lunch Lady ruined my life!
Scene 5
PRINCIPAL DANTESI
How come one of your hot dogs are poisoned.
LUNCH LADY
You don’t care about these children as much as I do. I mean we both hate these children as much as I do.
PRINCIPAL DANTESI
True, but I and the school could be sued for a lot of money.
LUNCH LADY
I know, but what’s the biggest harm 1 poisoned hotdog can do.
PRINCIPAL DANTESI
He died! But since I don’t care you’re off the hook. Now let’s call the parents.
MOM
(off stage) Well hello there friend. I don’t mean if this call is to take time from your work. What’s this happy call at the middle of the day about?
PRINCIPAL DANTESI
(on stage) Your son ate a poison hotdog made by the Lunch Lady and it killed him
MOM
My god. That’s so horrible. I call to have a moment with my husband.
Scene 6
MOM
I just got a call that are son has died from lunch.
POP
My dear Buck, dead. This is horrible.
MOM
The hotdog was made by their Lunch Lady.
POP
Well pardon my words, but we’ve got to sue that Lunch Lady.
MOM
We can’t sue her without going to court.
POP
Then we shall go to court.
MOM
I’ll make the call. Mmhmm. Mmmhm. Thank you. Be ready for court tomorrow.
Scene 7
MOM
Your honoer, my son was innocently going to school when he had a poisoned hotdog and died all because of that stupid, dumb Lunch Lady.
JUDGE
I’m sorry, we are talking about a kid in this court so please don’t use those words.
LUNCH LADY
I didn’t know he would get the poisoned hotdog that I made, okay I did know he’d get the poisoned one I gave it to him.
JUDGE
Why did you give it to him?
LUNCH LADY
He was always Saying I hate everyone at the school and interrupting me and my thoughts.
JUDGE
I sentence you to 25 years in jail, and instead of you sueing her she will pay everything for your son’s funeral. Now everybody can be happy (quietly) I hope!
THE END
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