Tag: Script

A Sliver of a Play

Scene 1

Characters: AMALAE (Amalie): twelfth grader, very protective of work, NESSET (Nes-set): clingy little sister, second grade

AMALAE is at her computer in the middle of the room. There is a bunk bed in the corner, suggesting that this is a bedroom.

NESSET runs in.

NESSET

Amalae, Amalae, what are you doing?

AMALAE looks up.

AMALAE

Go away, Nesset, I’m applying to college.

AMALAE continues doing her work.

NESSET

But, sis, you never play with me!

AMALAE stands up with a sigh.

AMALAE

Fine, but just this once.

NESSET accidentally sees her sister’s computer tab and gasps.

AMALAE

What is it?

NESSET

I left something in my bed. You can go ahead.

This is a lie. As soon as AMALAE leaves, NESSET checks the computer. She creeps to the desk. Suddenly interested in being a spy, she does some pretty bad rolls and gets to the most recent tab. She looks at it with wonder.

NESSET

Why would Amalae be applying to an acting school if she wants to become an artist? 

Scene 2

New character: BECEREA (Bec-a-re-a): a mom who hates actors and loves those who study or do anything other than the arts

They are in a room with a lot of toys, a couch, and a TV.

AMALAE

So what do you want to do? 

NESSET

Um, um, um.

BECEREA comes storming in after seeing that the bedroom is empty.

BECEREA

You should be studying, Amalae.

AMALAE

Um, um, um.

NESSET looks like she wants to pee her pants or like she is keeping in something important.

NESSET

Amalae wants to be an actor!

BECEREA looks at her.

BECEREA

What is she talking about, Amalae?

BECEREA looks at AMALAE to see that she has disappeared. The front door is open.

BECEREA

Nesset, how dare you put ideas in her head.

BECEREA storms out the front door in pursuit of AMALAE.

NESSET

But I didn – 

(sighs)

If I were Amalae, I would run away, too.

She follows her mom out.

NESSET

I wish that I had kept my mouth shut. Then maybe we would be able to play.

Scene 3

Warning: cliffhanger

BECEREA walks through the streets, looking for AMALAE.

BECEREA

Where did that traitor go?

BECEREA passes the alley that AMALAE is hiding in. NESSET, who is following BECEREA, sees AMALAE writing in a notebook. She runs away.

NESSET

I don’t need to betray her even more.

AMALAE looks around, making sure she is not being watched. She starts doing something nobody has ever heard her do. She starts to sing (but waits for BECEREA and NESSET to talk. She instead hums).

BECEREA stops a few meters ahead.

BECEREA

Do you hear that?

NESSET, knowing who it is, is scared, and is obviously hiding something. She turns to the audience.

NESSET

Now she starts singing – just when I decide to protect her?

She turns back to her mother.

NESSET

I’ll go check.

Who Knows How Long

All my life I’ve been searching

Searching for me (long)

For who I’m supposed to be (long)

For me (statement)

But who knows how long it’ll be

’Til I’m away from my chores

From my history (long)

And I know

There’s a place out there 

My secret lair

Where I can uncover the layer

That keeps coming to haunt me (long)

Cause I’m tired of all the history books (this is where it starts getting exciting)

The tests

The nooks that I can’t find

I wish for a chance to be alone

A chance to hold my own

A chance that’s all I need (long, slows down)

All I need, cause then I’ll be free (long)

But who knows how long that’ll take

Who know if before that, I’ll break

From the pressure

From the control

So I’m breaking out 

They’ll shut their mouths

Once they see what I can do

Then I’ll be something different to you (long)

BECEREA

Nesset!

AMALAE turns and sees NESSET run away.

AMALAE

Uh-oh.

An actor steps into the alley a second after NESSET would have seen movement. The character is introduced later as MRS. LILLAETTE, the professor of music at the Academy of Foundational Arts, which is the academy that AMALAE wants to go to.

MYSTERY PERSON

Have you ever considered being an actor?

Scene 4

New character: KAYLEEN: best friend, wants to become a dancer, funny

They are in a dorm at the academy.

KAYLEEN

Hi – you’re my new roomie, right?

AMALAE

I guess so?

MRS. LILLAETTE 

Great, you two are settled in. Amalae, this is Kayleen’s first day, too. The play is in three weeks, and auditions are in two days. Kayleen, the dancers choose their song tomorrow, but the official auditions are on the same day as the play auditions. Bye.

KAYLEEN

Isn’t this great? When I ran away from home, hoping to find an academy to train at, I didn’t think I’d get the best one ever!

AMALAE

Wait, you ran away from home? I did that, too!

KAYLEEN

What a coincidence. Anyway, what are you auditioning for?

AMALAE

I don’t even know what the play is!

MR. LOFT

It’s Beauty and the Beast.

They turn to find two people at the door.

KAYLEEN

Who are you?

MS. ROKISAS

He’s the director of theater.

MR. LOFT

And she’s the director of dance.

AMALAE

And why are you here?

MS. ROKISAS 

I wanted to give you the dance we are learning for our performance, Kayleen.

MR. LOFT

And I wanted to give you the lyrics. All the wannabe-Belles will be singing, Amalae.

AMALAE AND KAYLEEN

Thanks?

MR. LOFT AND MS. ROKISAS

You’re welcome.

The teachers leave. The girls turn towards the door across from the beds.

AMALAE

I’m guessing that’s the closet?

KAYLEEN

I waited to explore until you got here.

They open it and walk in. Inside is a bathroom with two stalls and two sinks, and when they open the stalls, there’s a shower and a toilet in each.

KAYLEEN

Cool – we get our own bathroom!

AMALAE finds doors on opposite sides of the bathroom.

AMALAE

Yeah, now these doors must lead to closets, right?

KAYLEEN

One way to find out.

Together, they open the doors.

AMALAE

Oh, wow, there’s a stage and a monitor reading my lines in case I forget.

KAYLEEN

And I have a dance area with mirrors for walls, footsteps on the floor that match my dance steps, even a bar for ballet.

TOGETHER

Let’s start practicing.

KAYLEEN falls into yet another room.

KAYLEEN

Oh, there’s the closet.

Scene 5

In the house, living room. NESSET has an apple. BECEREA is pacing in anger.

BECEREA

The nerve of that… that… that… fool.

NESSET

I know, right? 

(laughs nervously)

BECEREA

She is a disgrace.

NESSET

I know right? 

(stops eating) 

Mom, why do you hate actors?

BECEREA 

(snaps)

Because they killed my grandmother.

NESSET spits out apple chunks.

NESSET

WHAT? Are you sure of that?

BECEREA

Wellll, I never found any real proof, but.

NESSET

What happened?

BECEREA

You want the whole story? Fine. It started when I was a baby.

NESSET

You remember when you were a baby?

BECEREA

Yes, shush. I had just turned one when my mother showed me a picture of her grandmother. She had started the line of actresses, she said. My mother then told me that I would be an actress when I grew up. I was excited. I begged my mother to show me the oldest actor of our alive family – I begged for years. When I was seven, she finally agreed. She took me to Broadway to see my grandma’s latest achievement. I was so excited – I watched the first act of Beauty and the Beast with amazement. Then something horrible happened. Lumiere’s candles set the place on fire. The people watching ran out, screaming. The actors tried to put it out, but in the end, they had to evacuate. But not fast enough – my grandmother was trying to stop it harder than anyone – she had gotten the role of Belle! She wouldn’t stop – they had to drag her, but. Her dress was already burning – it was too late. 

A picture of her while this happens has been playing the whole time.

NESSET’s apple drops to the ground. 

NESSET

Mommy, that’s intense. 

BECEREA

Indeed, now, come on. I think I know where the misfit has gone.

At auditions.

AMALAE

I’m so nervous – what if I don’t get the song right?

KAYLEEN

I’m nervous, too – what if my feet don’t like modern music?

TEACHERS

Girls? It’s time.

Starts dancing (ask director for how).

KAYLEEN is in other room.

Starts.

MS. LILAETTE

And for the leading role of Belle: AMALAE! And for the honor of being up front with the dancers: KAYLEEN!

GIRLS

OMG!

(squeal)

They are bouncing off the walls in joy.

MS. LILAETTE

Good job, girls.

Back to BECEREA and NESSET.

BECEREA

I think they are at the Academy of Foundational Arts. 

Zooms in on outside of school.

Scene 6

KAYLEEN

Wake up, sleepyhead – you said we should do one more run-through before the play starts!

AMALAE

It’s morning already?!

KAYLEEN 

(slowly)

Yes, that’s how sleeping works – time goes faster.

AMALAE

Wait, last night was… IT’S THE DAY OF THE PLAY!

KAYLEEN

We have one hour – are you going to be dumb and just stand there, or are we running through my routine and your lines? I do not want to go to breakfast without a refresher!

AMALAE

Okay, okay, let’s go to the dance room. 

In her dance room.

KAYLEEN

Okay, so it goes one, two, to the left, to the right, cartwheel, fade into the crowd, step on the platform. And shoot into the sky. Then I jump off at thirty feet and survive. I go backstage while everyone else does the rest of the song and come back for the finale. We all start singing at two. 

She actually does this to music.

AMALAE is in her theater room.

AMALAE 

I’m sorry, Gaston, but I… I… I… I just don’t deserve you.

Bell that signals places rings.

BECEREA storms into the main office with NESSET trailing behind. PRINCIPAL HANAYES is waiting for them.

PRINCIPAL

Hello, Becerea Temtilask. I knew you were coming. I understand you have a daughter registered and want to take her home.

BECEREA

How did you know that – are you associated with Magic?

PRINCIPAL 

(laughs)

Nooo, we have security that saw you enter the school.

NESSET

I want to be a dancer!

BECEREA

Not now – where is Amalae?

PRINCIPAL

She’s about to amaze the audience as the lead in our first production of Beauty and the Beast.

BECEREA 

I don’t care if she’s directing Tangled on Broadway – I want to know where she is!

NESSET

Mommy, look – Amalae’s on stage.

AMALAE is being shown her new room. BECEREA and NESSET go to stop her but become transfixed by the show. They watch the whole thing. 

NESSET

Woah, Momma, that was awesome. 

She notices BECEREA is getting pulled to the next room with everyone else.

NESSET

Momma?

They watch KAYLEEN.

NESSET sees AMALAE and slips away from BECEREA without her noticing.

AMALAE

Nesset! Wait, if you’re here, that means… I have to run.

NESSET

I saw you on stage, and although I only saw a part of a play, I’ve realized something.

AMALAE

What is it?

NESSET

When I grow up, I want to put on a sliver of a play, too.

BECEREA

Nesset, we are going home… Amalae is not worth our ti… Nesset? 

She walks away grumbling about traitors and daughters and actors.

NESSET

Where am I going to stay now?!

AMALAE

You can stay with me.

The Defending Three

In a jungle. The VELOCIRAPTOR is running. 

VELOCIRAPTOR

Leave me alone, Dimetrodon! 

The DIMETRODON comes on stage. DIMETRODON is able to catch up with VELOCIRAPTOR. 

DIMETRODON:

Now you will be my snack!

VELOCIRAPTOR

So long, sucka!

VELOCIRAPTOR zooms off. DIMETRODON follows him. The PSITTACOSAURUS is onstage, looking down at the grass, trying to decide what grass to eat. 

PSITTACOSAURUS

Hmm. What grass to eat today? 

She sees VELOCIRAPTOR. 

PSITTACOSAURUS

Oh no! Run away! It’s a velociraptor!

VELOCIRAPTOR

(sighs) 

I think I did it. I think I outran him. 

(His stomach growls.) 

Uch, I need a snack. Who is that tasty guy over there? Gotcha! Hey, that’s just a rock.

Rustle, rustle.

VELOCIRAPTOR

Huh, what’s that? I’ll investigate who’s there. 

Rustle, rustle.

DIMETRODON

Roaaar!

VELOCIRAPTOR

You!

DIMETRODON

That’s right. I’ll get you this time! You made me lose my energy, so now I can’t run fast, and you will pay.

PSITTACOSAURUS

Ahhh!

PSITTACOSAURUS starts running. 

DIMETRODON and VELOCIRAPTOR

She’s mine.

They both start chasing her.

PSITTACOSAURUS

Leave me alone!

VELOCIRAPTOR and DIMETRODON are worn out.

VELOCIRAPTOR

(all worn out) 

I got her. 

DIMETRODON

(also worn out) 

No, I got her.

PSITTACOSAURUS

W-w-will you hurt me?

DIMETRODON and VELOCIRAPTOR fall to the ground.

VELOCIRAPTOR

(all worn out) 

If we would hurt you, you would hurt us with your quills.

DIMETRODON

Same. 

PSITTACOSAURUS

Can we be friends?

VELOCIRAPTOR and DIMETRODON get up and nod at each other.

PSITTACOSAURUS

Please – my family left me when I was three, and I am almost seven. I also have powers. 

VELOCIRAPTOR

You can join us.

DIMETRODON

What type of powers do you have?

PSITTACOSAURUS

I have everything, any power imaginable – like, I can make both of you have my powers.

VELOCIRAPTOR

Wait, don’t –

Boom!

VELOCIRAPTOR

Something’s wrong. I think I also have every power in the world. 

DIMETRODON

S-s-same.

VELOCIRAPTOR

I know we can defend the forest. 

PSITTACOSAURUS

Yes, I’m in.

DIMETRODON

As long as I get to smash.

VELOCIRAPTOR

Yes, you will! We will call ourselves the Defending Three.

VELOCIRAPTOR, the brains.PSITTACOSAURUS, the defense. DIMETRODON, the strength. And, together, they are the Defending Three.

Tails Be Lost

Dear editor and readers:

Tails be lost is about a water dragon that has to go across a spongeing desert and raid a village. Will he succeed? Stay tuned to find out! Dun Dun Dunn! It’s for the readers that read adventure. It’s a story where you read the back cover so yeah you’re gonna have to read it, and if you already read it then read it again, so that if you missed anything then that’s why read it again.

NARRATOR:

Once upon a time in the 1500s, there is Gus. Gus is a water dragon, and there are other dragons, but there’s also the sunlight god, Tarima. If you see him in your village, then you’re a goner. It’s like playing with the Grim Reaper. Get a mile away from him. And he wants to feed on people, but there is a desert that separates him and other water and fire dragons so he will have to leave his cozy home and set off. But first, he would first have to pack. He will have to gather lots of water and more water, because of course water dragons need water, that’s why he needs it, DUH! He needs food. He has some leftovers after a day’s business lunch. He last did a hunt like this a month ago. So, Gus sets off. Gus is so hot and sweaty from a minute of walking in the desert that he is hopeless, but he sees an illusion of the water, an illusion, but he doesn’t know that, so he goes on and on trying to chase the water that is endless and hopeless. He knows that he can’t last long, but he decides to push on. Then he sees the city. It will be spectacular if a far traveler Gus is just bored because he has seen it before, but the difficulty is that the dragon has a weak spot and it is the tail. 

GUS: 

How the humans got this piece of information, I don`t know, but there are these the first time I encountered the holos were when I was 25. I was only just a child. Just so you know, a dragon lives up to 700 years, so anyways, it was my first time hunting a village. My dad got struck down by the holos. Holos are people that have a giant axe and they would patrol a block. Every holo has a block to guard, and they cut off the dragon’s tail.

NARRATOR: 

Gus grabbed a hold of some peasants and a knight. On some nights, rarely, he would eat a king’s bodyguard. The knights are expensive tastes, but they try to put up a fight but Gus thought, I’m just too good and then I can trade it to the dragon market. Oh yeah, I’ll tell you all about that in a second. A big meal is a catapult or a siege tower, but he usually gets hobos and other sorts. Gus stays away from old ladies and grandpas. There is a market where dragons sell humans for dricki. Dricki are the coins that dragons use. And the nearest ones are two miles away. Take it away, narrator! Narrator? Narrator, we need you to come on. We’re waiting for you. 

NARRATOR: 

Okay. Fine, ahem, ahem. So, Gus had a problem. He was not able to cross the desert, so Gus had searched and searched but he had no idea how to cross it. He was about to give up when he spotted something. It was a catapult. Gus had an idea to go back home. First he would gather the fishing nets and wrap it around his feet. It was no hard task to take the people, because the dragon’s feet are the strongest bones in the dragon’s body.

GUS: 

Aahhhhhhhhhh! I want it back, wait a minute that’s actually true, give it! Hey! Ripp!

NARRATOR:

Sorry readers, Gus is having a tantrum. Technical difficulties. Beep!

GUS:

Wahhhhhhhhhhh! I want it back! 

NARRATOR:

Well, whatever, okay.  

WRITER: 

Can you please stop saying stuff, we only have like two pages left and I’m not going to waste it on you two quarreling! Okay! 

BOTH: 

Fine! 

NARRATOR: 

The grill was smoking. Gus invited some friends to his home with a gurg. A gurg is a phone. That is how Bill Gates invented the iPhone. His friends came over and had a great meal. Also, side note, you hear the booms of lightning? It’s actually the dragons bowling, and you know how the air shakes stuff, it’s the rain cloud, yeah, the dragons bowl loudly and fast. The end! 

Epilogue  

NARRATOR: 

Two weeks later, when Gus was walking to the village to get some people, he saw something. He stepped closer to it and it was Tarima, the king of all dragons, otherwise known as the sunlight god. If you see him in your village, then you’re a goner. It’s like playing with the Grim Reaper. Even a mile away from him will do you no good. Once he saved a present life for a secret, and that secret is that the god of sunlight is a human that’s in a robotic costume.

At the Movies with Mrs. Lady and Mrs. Beagle

MRS. LADY
Oh hi, Mrs. Beagle!

MRS. BEAGLE
Woof. [Oh hi, Mrs. Lady.]

MRS. LADY
Today we are going to the movies with my friend, Mrs. Knitting, and her dog, Mrs. Bulldog.

MRS. BEAGLE
Ruff ruff? [What movie? Star Wars, King Kong, Frozen 2, Jumanji?]

MRS. LADY
We are going to watch It’s a Wonderful Life!

MRS. BEAGLE
Riff ruff? [What the heck?]

That evening…

MRS. LADY
Mrs. Beagle, are you ready?

MRS. BEAGLE
Ruff… [I am not… ]

MRS. LADY
Oh well, you are not ready, but here is your hat. (Pulls out an ugly dog hat)

MRS. BEAGLE
Ruff ruff. [Thanks… but it’s super ugly!]

MRS. LADY
(Cries) You don’t like it? I knitted it. (She stops crying.) Let’s go to the cinema.

Outside

MRS. KNITTING
Oh hi, Mrs. Lady, and hi, Mrs. Beagle. Let’s go to the cinema!

MRS. BEAGLE
Ruff ruff! [Hi, Mrs. Bulldog, I have been waiting all day to see you!]

MRS. BULLDOG
Ruff Riff. [Me too.]

MRS. LADY
Mrs. Beagle. and Mrs. Bulldog, come!

Inside the cinema

MRS. KNITTING
Hi, sir, we are here to watch It’s a Wonderful Life.

THE SIR AT THE COUNTER

Sorry, but It’s a Wonderful Life has been out of cinemas for more than eighty years. You can watch Little Women, Frozen 2, or Jumanji…

MRS. LADY
I think we will watch Little Women.

MRS. BEAGLE
Ruff. [I told Mrs. Lady that It’s a Wonderful Life was bad.]

MRS. BULLDOG
Ruff riff ruff! [I told Mrs. Knitting the same thing!]

MRS. LADY
Mrs. Knitting, I watched Little Women fifty years ago.

MRS. KNITTING
So did I!

They enter the theater. The movie starts.

MRS. LADY
(Screams) What the heck? This is not Little Women.

EVERYONE EXCEPT MRS. LADY AND MRS. KNITTING
Shhh!

SECURITY
Ma’ams, you need to leave this room if you wanna scream.

MRS. LADY
(Cries) Why, why?

SECURITY
Just get out!

MRS. BEAGLE
Ruff ruff! [What a bad idea!]

The next day

MRS. LADY
Oh look, I got a package. (She opens it.) It is a DVD of It’s a Wonderful Life.

MRS. BEAGLE
Ruff! [Oh no!]

Death, Love, Magic

Editor’s note: Content Warning: This story explores violent themes and discusses self-harm.

King’s footsteps slowly getting louder.

King: Our sons are married and my daughter must marry the king from the nearby kingdom but she refuses; she says she wants to marry a wizard! (King slams on table as he says wizard.)

Queen: A princess has one job, marry a prince. Marrying a wizard is absurd!

Together: How HORRIBLE!!!

Meanwhile, princess Penelope is sneaking off to the wizard’s hut.

Wizard: Ah Penelope you have come at last!

Penelope: I must marry a king against my father’s wishes so I came to say goodbye, my love.

Wizard: Well, what if your father is dead?

Penelope: Well, then my step-mother would rule.

Wizard: Well, what if your step-mother is dead?

Penelope: Well, my step-brothers will rule and make me a slave! 

Wizard: What if your step-brothers are dead?

Penelope: Weellll… I guess I will rule then and get to make my own choices.

The Wizard gets an evil gleam in his eye. He only loved Penelope to get the kingdom and then he would kill her.

Wizard: Well, I guess you should leave, my love, your father must be wondering where you are darling. 

Penelope leaves and closes the door.

Wizard: Now I’ll do what I do best: kill. 

The next day, Penelope hears a scream as she wakes up and runs to the noise to find her poor step-mother crying over her step-brother’s dead bodies.

Queen: OH NO! WHAT SHALL I EVER DO….?

Penelope: Step-mother… What happened to my step-brothers… ?

Queen: They were killed in their sleep! Killer is unknown.

King: WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR SONS!?

Penelope: They were murdered, father…

Everyone is silent except for the queen’s cries of heartbreak.

Queen: If I can not live with my sons, I will die, so I will kill myself to join them.

Before anyone could stop her the Queen brings out the king’s sword and stabs herself and collapses onto her four sons’ bodies and dies.

King: I will die too. I am a horrible king to let my sons die.

He takes the sword, pulls off his armor and stabs himself and dies.

That night, there is a funeral for the king, queen, and princes and a crowning for Penelope.

Penelope: I know who did this and I must kill him before he kills anyone else. GUARDS, find the wizard and bring him to me.

Guards come back with a struggling wizard. 

Wizard: My love, how could you do this to me! 

Penelope: How could you do this to ME? I tell my father I want to marry you and in the end, you kill my family! I will marry another man who was my second love. I was going to pick you as my husband but you killed my family. You shall be burned at the stake tonight!

Guards take the wizard away.

That night, Penelope stays in her room but hears the fire burning the wizard away and his cries of pain. When she comes out, the wizard is dead.

Two days later, a wedding is happening for Penelope and the prince of a nearby kingdom. 

Two years later 

Penelope has a family and a life but one of her daughters is magical. 

Ann: Mother, why do I have magic?

Penelope: You must have inherited it from a wizard I used to know and love until he killed my family.

Ann: Wizard? Love? Murder?!

Penelope: It is a long story…

  THE END

Friends

Characters: 

BIYU (10): A kid who always annoys his older sister yet deeply cares about her and LOVES broccoli (weird, I know)

RIKU (15): A teen who just wants her space from others and wants friends

AIMI (15): Riku’s supposed best friend

RIKU and BIYU are in the field a bit away from their house. A few minutes later, RIKU starts walking to the house. As she walks off she says to BIYU:

RIKU

I’ll see you there. 

BIYU

(Staring off into the curtains) Hm, what’s that, Mom? You want Riku to get the heck out of my room? Oh, alright, I’ll tell her that. 

BIYU turns around, looks at RIKU, and smiles. 

RIKU

MoM sAiD tO gEt ThE hEcK oUtTa My RoOm!  

RIKU copies BIYU’s movements. 

BIYU

(Stares into the curtain again) What’s that, Mom? Tell Riku to stop bothering me? 

BIYU smiles. 

RIKU

But I —

RIKU

                                                      [Aside] Mother is always on Biyu’s side and it’s really annoying.

RIKU

Okay, mother . . . Sorry. . . Not sorry, Biyu. (She sniffs)

BIYU

                    [Aside] I never wanted Riku to be sad. Riku, wait!

RIKU

                                       [Aside] Time to call Aimi. 

Sighing, RIKU takes her phone out from her back pocket and scrolls through her contacts and finally comes across “BestFriend.”

917-397-2675.

Heyy, Aimi… My day hasn’t been the best. 

AIMI

Hey… Aw why. Was it your good for nothing brother? I never liked him anyways. [Aside] It’s not like I really care anyway

RIKU

You what…

She shakes her head and starts tearing up.

AIMI

[Aside] You weren’t supposed to hear that

Oh I was talking to my… 

[Aside] Nonexistent 

Brother. 

RIKU

Why are you lying to my face?

AIMI

HAHAHA don’t comment on me. (AIMI scoffs)

RIKU

I  didn’t, I’m — 

AIMI cuts the phone

AIMI

Annoying brat. (AIMI rolls her eyes) 

RIKU sighs, sits on her bed, and drenches her pillow, twirls her hair, then gets up and starts pacing around. 

RIKU

[Aside] Why did Aimi do that?

I’m worried about Aimi. She doesn’t act like this. 

BIYU walks into RIKU’s room and leans on the door frame.

BIYU

What did Aimi do? 

RIKU

Ugh nothing. Get out of my room… (RIKU shakes her head and turns away)

BIYU

You can’t lie to me, your face gives out what you’re feeling right away. (BIYU sighs) C’mon, don’t lie to me… I’ll try to help.

RIKU

Aimi snapped at me.

BIYU

I never liked her but… (BIYU sighs) If you really wanna repair your relationship… be the bigger person and go to her house.

AIMI

I hope she doesn’t bother me for forgiveness, it’s gonna be annoying… Although hurting her was nice it also hurt. She’s the only real friend I ever had.

AIMI shakes her head to get the thoughts out of her head. RIKU puts her jacket and shoes on and goes out of the house

RIKU

Ah, the wind feels so nice.

The fall breeze hits RIKU’s face. Her hair flows in the air and a tear streams down her face. All the people who are near RIKU freeze as she walks by. RIKU to the audience:

RIKU

I’ve been friends with Aimi my whole life. We have been best friends, we have gone through everything together. Was it my fault? Did I build this pressure between us up? Even if it was me being the bigger person. Does that make it right? No it doesn’t, saying sorry doesn’t repair your actions. It doesn’t actually show you’re sorry. You’re just asking for pity. But this always happens.. I always ask for pity even when it’s not my fault. Everyone thinks I’m a fool, but I (RIKU sighs). I understand that Aimi is using me. But I need someone to lean on even if they are using a fake persona.

Everyone on the stage starts moving again as RIKU wipes a tear off her face and arrives at AIMI’s.  Then shakily she rings the doorbell.

AIMI

Who could that be? (AIMI makes an annoyed face)

RIKU

I really hope she can forgive me…

AIMI

[Aside] Ugh is it RIKU?

RIKU keeps ringing the bell

AIMI

Coming, coming. 

AIMI stares at the door and makes an annoyed face, then proceeds to open it. AIMI tries to open the door but can’t.

RIKU

(As AIMI opens the door, RIKU tries to hide) I don’t wanna do this anymore..

AIMI

(AIMI proceeds to open the door). I know why you’re here. Come and sit on my couch. I’ll bring some tea out. 

RIKU

Stop this. Stop acting like you’re my friend. STOP, I KNOW YOU NEVER LIKED ME. NO ONE EVER DID.

AIMI

Well, why do you think no one liked you? Because you follow them around, make them feel guilty. HOW DO YOU THINK IT FEELS LETTING PEOPLE DOWN? 

RIKU

YOU NEVER LIKED ME. I DONT MATTER RIGHT, THIS FRIENDSHIP WAS NEVER REAL. I NEVER HAD FRIENDS BEFORE… AND EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY BE FAKE… I still care. (RIKU is on the floor covering her face, sobbing)

AIMI

Why…

The doorbell rings. AIMI proceeds to open it as RIKU is on the floor crying.

BIYU

Hey, Aimi I came to see… WHAT DID YOU DO TO RIKU?

AIMI

I didn’t do anything….

AIMI sighs. BIYU runs to RIKU and starts comforting her by hugging her.

BIYU

Look. I knew this was going to happen. That’s why I told you to come here. I knew all about her but..

RIKU

Even if  I won’t be your friend anymore…

BIYU

… Please don’t be her enemy…

AIMI goes up to RIKU and embraces RIKU softly…

CURTIN 

——————————————————————————————————————————-

THE ACTORS COME OUT AND BOW. 

Stolen

FADE IN:

INT. HOUSE- 3 PM

JACINDA is sitting at her desk with a pencil in her hair and paperwork in front of her. Unable to focus, she turns around, and her eyes dart across the room and focus on ASHLEY. She stands up and picks up Ashley, then puts her on the desk next to her, and using a remote, turns Ashley on.

JACINDA

I have a secret. Can I trust you? No, I can’t. I mean, how do I know you won’t be hacked or… or something else. Maybe your programming’s bad and you’ll betray me. 

ASHLEY 

(crackly voice)

Oh, Jacinda. You built me so I can act as a friend. A friend has feelings, as do I. This means I can detect feelings as well. I am detecting guilt. You know you can tell me anything.

JACINDA

Thanks. I know I can talk to you, Ashley. Now if anybody finds out about this, they’ll probably die, so if I tell you, your robot life is in danger.

ASHLEY

I understand, J, but it is alright as long as your life won’t be in danger. I can protect you though, if I have to, with the lasers you made me with. 

JACINDA

No, Ashley. I don’t care if I’m dying. Under no circumstances do you use those lasers. Ok?

ASHLEY

Understood. Now, I am dying to know: What’s the secret?

JACINDA

The secret is connected to you. The way I created you was with materials. Stolen materials.

ASHLEY

What do you mean, stolen?

JACINDA

I mean stolen. As in, I took and used something that didn’t belong to me and they are probably going to hang me for it!

ASHLEY

I still don’t understand. Why would you steal? 

JACINDA

The thing is, I didn’t technically steal. More like, somebody knew that I was a scientist and dropped your parts next to my door. I used them, and a day after I built you, there was a note that got slipped under my door. It said that the parts I used to build you were stolen from the place I work in: Lab Home. After I read the letter, I checked you and your parts carefully, remember?

ASHLEY

Yes, I do.

JACINDA

Well, while I was checking you, I found a sticker with Lab Home’s initials on it and the background of us launching a rocket into space. After that, when I went to Lab Home for my regular work routine, the boss announced that parts had been stolen from the big project most of us had been conducting: a way to make a robot like you and turn them into humans.

ASHLEY

Are you sure? 

JACINDA

Positive, I was a worker on that project which means I’m one of their suspects, so sooner or later they’re going to come to my house and find you. Then I’m going to get hanged, or maybe not hanged, but seriously in trouble. 

ASHLEY

Stop with the negative attitude. Go to the boss and tell him what you just told me. If you come clean, he’ll know you didn’t do it.

JACINDA

It’s not that simple, Ashley. The person who gave me these parts is blackmailing me to not tell anybody or they’ll get hurt. That can’t happen.

ASHLEY

Well, what are you going to do about it?

JACINDA

So now I’m going to have to run. That’s the only way to guarantee everybody’s safety. Don’t you agree, Ashley?

ASHLEY

Honestly, J, I’m not sure. I mean, do you have to go? Right now, the person blackmailing you doesn’t want you to contact others. This way you’re not as strong, but it’s different when you’re with others. You, in a way, have a team.

Jacinda shakes her head and sighs, reaching for Ashley’s remote to turn her off. She then places Ashley back in the place she found her. 

INT. LAB HOME- 6 PM

VLAD, who is in charge of the human-robot project, is having a meeting with all of the members. Jacinda is staring at the floor, not wanting him to see the fear in her eyes.

VLAD

Attention, please. This is very serious. I need you to confess to stealing the parts of the human- robot project. If nobody has anything to say to me, then fine. I’m asking the security team tomorrow to go to all of your houses and search. You have nothing to hide so that’ll be fine unless… somebody might want to say something. Dismissed!

The members start murmuring amongst themselves, but none say anything to Vlad. They all start splitting up and return to their normal work.

JACINDA(V/O)

(thinking)

What am I going to do? I can’t confess, right? Yeah, I shouldn’t. Ashley’s wrong, I’m right. Ok, I need to get out of the house today. I can do that. I need to tell Vlad that I’m sick. Simple.

Jacinda stands up from her desk and approaches Vlad at his. She waits until he gets off the phone and he looks up at her.

VLAD 

(annoyed)

What do you want? I’m under enough stress with this robot-human program that I don’t need any more distractions.

Jacinda takes a tissue from his desk and blows into it. She then does a fake cough and sneezes.

JACINDA 

(whispering)

I’m sick.

VLAD

(annoyed)

Ok, fine. Go, but remember we’re going to your house tomorrow.

EXT. JACINDA’S PORCH 10 AM

Security guards are knocking at Jacinda’s door but she’s not answering. They finally decide to use a master key to open the door. There’s no latch on the door so they conclude she isn’t home.

SECURITY GUARD #1

Check this whole place and make sure she’s not hiding anything, ok?

They search her apartment but find nothing. One of the security guards, though, carefully checks the floor and finds a tile that is unlike the others. 

SECURITY GUARD #2

Hey, guys, look what I found.

He lifts it up to show a trapdoor with a basement. There is a box of Lab Home parts which are supposed to be used for the robot-human program.

SECURITY GUARD #1

Call the boss and tell him that Jacinda took the stuff. Oh also, the rest of you check for other secret compartments. We don’t want to miss anything.

SECURITY GUARD #2

Um, boss, we found out that Jacinda stole the parts, sir. Looking for more now.

VLAD

Excellent. Also, you’re getting a promotion.

Vlad sets down the phone and laughs evilly.

VLAD

Oh, my plan worked. I love it when that happens.

INT. TRUCK 12 PM

Jacinda and Ashley are sitting in the back of a truck that’s driving them to New Jersey. Suddenly though, they come to a halting stop. Jacinda hears talking and suddenly, the back door is pulled open and a police officer is standing there along with the diver who has a helpless look on his face.

POLICE OFFICER

You’re under arrest.

JACINDA

(fake shock)

Me? Why, I didn’t do anything.

POLICE OFFICER

If I had a nickel for every time I heard that. Your job, Lab Home, begs to differ. Come on, let’s go.

ASHLEY

Hello, Jacinda.

JACINDA

(Actual shock)

What? Ashley, how are you up? I didn’t turn you on.

Ashley holograms a figure in front of her. 

ASHLEY

(Vlad’s voice)

Hello, Jacinda. I see you’re in a bit of a twist now. Is this a bad time? Anyway, I just wanted to let you know who was behind the brilliant plan that got you in this mess. Any guesses?

JACINDA

Vlad? Why and how did you hack Ashely?

ASHLEY

(Vlad’s Voice)

Well, you didn’t put a strong firewall and I guess I know how to hack. For your why question, meet me at Lab Home and we can discuss it over coffee. Huh? Oh, let me take care of this police officer for you. Ashley, launch lasers.

JACINDA

No!

Jacinda hurriedly rushes to Ashley’s remote and tries to turn Ashley off. When this doesn’t work, Ashley aims her lasers toward Jacinda and fires, obliterating the remote. Ashley then turns toward the officer and fires. Barely missing him, the officer ducks and runs to the other side of the truck and takes out his walkie- talkie.

POLICE OFFICER

Help! I repeat, mayday! I’m being attacked by a robot here. All units, I repeat: help!

While this is occurring, Ashley suddenly becomes 5 times bigger and starts flying off with Jacinda. She bangs against the metal hands, only hurting herself.

JACINDA

Let me guess, hacked?

ASHLEY

(Vlad’s voice)

You are smart, now aren’t you? This means I’m going to have to take you out but I do want you to see my plan.

INT. LAB HOME 12:45 PM

Jacinda is in Vlad’s office and Big Ashley is guarding the office. Vlad approaches Big Ashley and waits as the robot steps aside. He then sits down across from Jacinda.

JACINDA

So, the reason you brought me here was to explain why you concocted this grand plan. Will you please explain?

VLAD

With pleasure. I felt you were hogging all the spotlight with your brilliant ideas. It was the only chance I got to lead the human- robot program. I then thought of a way for you to get fired from Lab Home: steal something valuable. Now I was certain of 2 things in this plan: it would work, and you would run away, leaving me with respect and applause. The part I was confused about is you didn’t run away the way I thought. I wanted you to be full of anxiety, vulnerable. Instead, you had a plan. That’s what worries me about you. Now, any questions?

JACINDA

Yeah, one. Why do you talk so much?

Vlad stands up and, not responding, approaches Big Ashley. 

VLAD

Do me a favor and take care of Jacinda, permanently!

Big Ashley nods and then roughly takes Jacinda by her arm and drags her to the Lab Home basement. When they get down there, Big Ashley pins Jacinda against the wall and warms up her lasers. 

JACINDA

Please, Ashley, don’t do this.

ASHLEY

I only take orders from Vlad. He is superior. Exterminate!

JACINDA

I’m sorry, Ashley, but I can’t let you do that. Start self destruct sequence: Password – Handles. My first name for you until I came up with a better name. Goodbye, Ashley.

ASHLEY

No, what are you- self destruct 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

ASHLEY

(Regular Ashley)

Goodbye, Jacinda.

A huge explosion sends metal flying everywhere. Jacinda covers her head to protect her from the flying debris. When the aftershock hits Jacinda, she tumbles to the ground. Picking herself up, she goes back to the floor where Vlad was and sneaks up behind him. Accidentally, she steps on a creaky floorboard.

VLAD

Is that you, Ashley? I heard an explosion and I thought it might’ve been you blowing Jacinda up.

JACINDA

Think again!

Jacinda, taking Vlad by surprise, is able to tie Vlad up and call the police to hand him over.

POLICE OFFICER

Well, would you look at that? Same people. Now then, you’re being charged for quite a few things, including attempted murder, theft, and blackmailing. 

VLAD

(Yelling)

I demand to speak with my lawyer! There’s no evidence!

JACINDA

I beg to differ, Vlad. Oh, by the way, I thought you’d like to know I’m the boss now since you’re going to prison.

VLAD

I’ll get you!

JACINDA

If I had a nickel for everytime I heard that. 

INT. JAIL CELL 7 PM

Vlad is wearing the regular orange prison suit as he lies down on his dusty bed. Wiping off the dirt, he hears a cling as the jail cell swings open with a click of the key. Not facing the person, Vlad returns to wiping his bed. A hand rests on his shoulder, making Vlad stop uneasily. Cautiously turning, he faces something hidden by the shadows. 

ASHLEY

Hello Vlad, let’s finish this. 

FADE OUT

Being a Gumball

CELIA

Hello, my name is Celia Ballington… and I am a gum ball. But I am not any gum ball; I was 2 when I fell out of the gumball dispenser onto the floor. However, I was caught in a bucket of toxic left under the dispenser because they hired people to clean the mall; there was a strange toxic disease in the pipes, but it made me immortal.

Scene 1

Present Day, 10 years Later in the Dispenser

CAMERON

Come on, help me push Connor to the door!

CELIA

Wait, what? He’s going to be stepped on out there!

CONNOR 

(waking up) 

What’s going on?

CAMERON 

(pushing Connor out the door)

Uhh… nothing… have a good trip!

CONNOR

(falling)

I thought I was awake!

CELIA

Why did you do that, aren’t you my best friend?

CAMERON

Ooh, good idea! Wanna be my partner in crime?

CELIA

No way—

CAMERON

Oh well, down you go then.

CELIA starts also falling. She blows frantically, stretching to make a bubblegum parachute, and catches CONNER. As they float down, a baby nearby stares at them and grabs them.

They are squished between its grasp and they head to the baby’s house.

Scene 2

An Hour Later, at the House, During Lunchtime

CONNER and CELIA roll toward the bed to hide from the mom when she picks the baby, DARWIN, up for lunch. They then decide to explore the baby’s room.

CELIA rolls up the crib, and CONNER sneakily pushes her down to land on a xylophone and rolls under the next door, leaving CELIA to be seen as MOM rushes in.

MOM

I bet it’s that rat!

The baby grabs CELIA and drools over her. 

CELIA

Gross! 

 CELIA rolls away before DARWIN can wipe her on the wall. 

CONNER

Help, I’m stuck!

There was a puddle of water on the bathroom floor and CONNER got sticky and stuck to the floor. CELIA now leaves CONNER behind as she rolls out the door, around the block to be stepped on by TEENAGER. 

TEENAGER

Ew dude, I got some gum on my cool new sneakers.

TEENAGER throws CELIA into the trash, along with the shoe. She slowly crawls into the shoe and fall asleep.

Scene 3

The Next Morning, Before Sunrise

CELIA is woken up by a chitter. 

CELIA

Ugh, I bet it’s just Cameron teasing me for being a scaredy-ball for being scared of Conner falling out. 

Instead, she wakes up to see the face of a rat. CELIA attempts to roll out of a rusty hole in the trash, but she isn’t dry, and instead patches it up. After a while, the trash and the bin are lifted up into a dump truck. 

CELIA

Conner, I’m flying! Oh, yeah he’s not here.

The rat responds, chittering happily to CELIA’s surprise.

CELIA

I must be hallucinating.

CONNER

(the rat)

You know, I am not just a rat. I was crawling through the sewers when I found some green goo. I was incredibly thirsty, so I drank it. Now I can talk!

They become friends, and sneak into restaurants, schools, and factories, picking up knowledge and resources.

Scene 4

Two Years Later

Ring! Ring! 

Celia

(in the tissue hut)

Who could it be? 

(she forgets she has her Chew5 Phone)

The contacts said it was Cameron?!

CONNER THE RAT

Answer it.

CAMERON 

(over the phone)

Hey… Celia?

CELIA

(berry annoyed)

Yeah, I’m still alive, in a home, with a best friend, doing better than I had been with you.

CAMERON

Look, I’m in chew-vie, and I got to phone someone. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.

CELIA

(hanging up)

Nice try, but I don’t want to see your round face again.

CONNER THE RAT

Don’t you have a round face, too?

CELIA

I said it from the top of my head, okay?

Scene 5

Two Years Later

CONNER THE RAT

Hello, my name is Conner and I am a rat.

MAN 1

(chuckling) 

Is this some kind of joke?

CELIA

No. My name is Celia and I am a gumball.

MAN 2

So, you scheduled a meeting.

CELIA

Yes, we are the owners of Big Toxi Curing Co.

MAN 1

Oh, I’m so sorry. Hey, do you need us?

CONNER THE RAT

We were looking for testers for our medicine, but you seem to be a good one.

MAN 1

(drinking green liquid) 

No, no, I only have the symptoms.

Everyone stares at him as MAN 1 then throws up black vomit under the table in a casual way, and then comes back to the meeting like nothing happened.

Scene 6

At the Lab

CONNER THE RAT: 

Darwin, this is Steve.

(points to MAN 1)

Steve, this is Darwin, one of our best scientists.

DARWIN

Pleasure to meet you, come hop into this tub.

Steve 

(walking in)

Ooh, a hot tub?

DARWIN closes the clear curtains, and they observe as a pink fluid sprays him.

STEVE

Cherry flavor!

STEVE’S skin turns vibrant again and he unswells.

STEVE

I feel like a new man. So am I famous now for being the first person cured? Am I super strong, or super fast?

DARWIN/CELIA/CONNER THE RAT

That will be two hundred fifty bucks.

The world is saved and our main character, CELIA, lives happily ever after forever because she is immortal… and what is a story without a happy ending?

The End.

About Conner the gum ball, he was Darwin’s pet until Darwin started working for Celia and Conner the rat, he decided to bring Conner the gum ball to the company as a tester, and Celia still had no mercy on him.

Cameron stayed in chew-vie and then in gum ball adults’ jail for the rest of her sticky life, contemplating how her phone call trick with Celia didn’t work, and just being evil.

Wait, But Before You Go, Read the Bubblegum Glossary:

Scaredy-ball: Basically scaredy-cat but when talking about gumballs

Bubblegum Parachute: Just bubbles you blow with bubblegum, but what bubblegum uses them for

Chew5: iPhone type, like iPhone 12, but when talking about gumball products

Berry: Very

Chew-vie: Juvie

Advice of the Century

Sama Daga, student, best advice giver ever, and comedian is in her room, filming on you tube. She is giving million dollar advice for free. As you can see, she is really nice. She also answers questions from callers and comments. 

SAMA: Hello world! I give you the best advice you can ever get! It’s so good, it changes your life forever.  Let’s start with the stupidest game on earth.

Don’t play Fortnite

If you play Fortnite, you will get addicted

If you get addicted, you will play it all night and not sleep

If you don’t sleep, you will not pay attention in class

If you don’t pay attention in class, you will do badly in the surprize pop quiz

If you do badly on the surprize pop quiz, your parents will be mad

If your parents get mad, they will send you away

If you get sent away, you will go to a land called Mathominium

If you go to Mathominium, you will have math cramped in your brain

If you get math cramped in your brain, you will turn into a monster

If you turn into a monster, you will kill the world and you will die too because you have nowhere to live

Don’t play Fortnite!

I give great advice, right? Well, guess what? The next piece of advice is even better. This has to do with one of the scariest animals on earth.

Don’t hug a bear

If you hug a bear, you will get attached to him

If you get attached to him, you will think about him a lot

If you think about him a lot, you will go back in the forest

If you go back in the forest, you will get a rare spider bite

If you get a rare spider bite, you won’t be able to walk anymore

If you can’t walk anymore, you will be stuck in the forest

If you get stuck in the forest, a week later, the bear would text you

If the bear texts you, he will say he doesn’t like you.

If he says he doesn’t like you, you will cry and become depressed

If you cry and become depressed, you will die alone because no one found you in the forest

Don’t hug a bear!

So, seriously, don’t hug a bear. Million dollar advice here people! Pay attention! Now, I’m going to look in the comments to find a good question to answer. Oh, great question! Matts question is,”Should I flush my book down the toilet if i don’t wanna read it” My answer: for your own safety, please don’t

Don’t flush a book down a toilet

If you flush a book down a toilet, you will clog it

If you clog it, it won’t work

If it doesn’t work, you will have to drive all the way to the gas station

If you drive all the way to the gas station, the toilet there won’t work either

If the toilet doesn’t work at the gas station, you will go home sad

If you go home sad, your whole house will be flooding

If your whole house is flooding, you will run in to save your dog

If you run in to save your dog, you will find him swimming in the living room

If you find your dog swimming in the living room, you will run out with your dog

If you run out, you will find that your whole neighborhood is flooded

If you flood your whole neighborhood, your old neighbor will chase you with a 90’s newspaper

If you get chased, you will slip and break every bone in your body

Don’t flush your book down the toilet!

Matt, you really need life support. Get help soon. Now we have a request from… my brother. My brother asked,” Should I hit my sister if she is hogging the computer with her stupid you tube show?” First of all… this YouTube show is not stupid! I give good advice to the unfortunate: anyone but me! It has a billion fans! Make that a billion and one. Second of all…

Don’t hit your sister ever

If you hit your sister, she will slap you

If she slaps you, you will cry and tell mom

If you tell mom, she will yell at your sister and send her to her room and let you go to the park with your friends

If your sister goes to her room, she will sneak out the window.

If she sneaks out of her room, she will find you in the park

If she finds you in the park, she will give you a wedgie in front of all your friends

If she gives you wedgie in front of all your friends, all your friends will run from fear

If all your friends run from fear, you will have no friends

If you have no friends, you will be sad and depressed

If you are sad and depressed, you will try to invent a happiness machine

If you try to invent a happiness machine, everyone will abandon you because they think you’re weird

If everyone abandons you, you will die alone 

Don’t hit your sister ever!!!!

My brothers have always needed help. My mom won’t let me put him up for adoption. Seriously, I don’t see the problem with the idea. Mom only has to deal with one child. I’m making her life easier! Whatever, guess mom can’t see good ideas when they are right in front of her! Moms… Again, whatever. Now, we have a call in from Charlie.

(Charlie waves excitedly. Sama just waves with smile.)

CHARLIE: OMG, I can’t believe I’m on my fav show! Like, wow! 

SAMA: Yeah I know I’m generous.

CHARLIE: Totally! I wanted to ask you something… 

SAMA: Since I’m so generous, go ahead and ask your question!

CHARLIE; I cheated on my chem test. It’s just so hard! Should I tell my teacher I cheated?

SAMA: Charlie, that is a great question! Here’s my advice… 

Don’t tell your teacher you cheated on a chemistry test.

If you tell your teacher, she will pull the disappointed card.

If she pulls the disappointed card, she will tell you to take an even harder one.

If you have to take a harder test, the stress will get to your head.

If the stress gets to your head, you will forget all the chemistry you ever learnt.

If you forget all the chemistry you ever learnt, you will do badly on the test.

If you do badly, the teacher will make you go to chemistry summer school.

If you go to chemistry summer school, you will bore your eyes out.

If you bore your eyes out, you will become blind.

If you become blind, you will accidentally fall in a manhole.

If you fall in a manhole, your best friend will be an alligator. 

If your best friend is an alligator, he will eat you at one point because he’s hungry.

Don’t tell your teacher you cheated on a chemistry test!

Hope this helped guys! I’m so amazing for giving you advice right?! Well, this is the last piece of advice for today. It’s pretty short but very meaningful. 

Hit the like and subscribe button and all the other stuff that youtubers want you to do at the bottom of this video

If you hit the buttons, I will think that you are somewhat decent

If I think that you are somewhat decent, you’re cool

If your cool, your life is complete

Hit the like and subscribe button at the bottom of the video!

Sama waves goodbye with smile.

BLACKOUT.

The End

THE BEST PLAY EVER

Audrey’s character: Ali

Natalia’s character: Cam

Relationship: Cousins


Scene One: Subway

Ali: Hey, do you want to go get a sub sandwich?

Cam: No way. You are buying me Shake Shack!

Ali: Ugh! Fine. But you’re paying me back. 

Cam: Can I not pay you back and just buy you ice cream?

Ali: Umm… no? Ice cream is a lot cheaper! I want the money I paid for Shake Shack back.

Cam: Fine! If you are going to be that way!

Ali: I’m going to be that way. Oh my god fine. Just buy me ice cream.

Cam: Ok what train do we need to get on?

Ali: I mean, we could take an Uber. The train is delayed.

Cam: I will pay for the Uber, let’s take Uber Limo!

Ali: Okay, I’ll pay for the food and the dessert because Uber Limo is expensive.

Cam: Fine. I am a billionaire so it’s ok.

Ali: Well I’m a trillionaire so I insist.

Cam: Let’s order the limo now.

Ali: Okay.


Scene Two: Street

Cam: It’s 39 minutes away. What the heck ahhhhhhh!

Ali: Okay let’s cancel and just ride in my BMW.

Cam: On the way back we better get a limo. If not I will be depressed. 

Ali: Oh wow. That’s not dramatic at all!

Cam: Whatever dude!

Ali: What?! I didn’t say you’re dramatic.

Cam: Can we just get the food? 

Ali: Yes. 

(They walks to Ali’s car. Ali looks in her pocket for her keys)

Ali: Uh oh… I left my keys in the car.

Cam: That’s helpful huh?!

Ali: Oh wait! I just remembered that I can unlock it with my fingerprint.

Cam: Then do it. 

(Ali put her fingerprint on the door handle and the car unlocked.)

Scene Three: Inside Car

Ali: Go to the other side and get in the passenger seat. I’m driving.

Cam: Ok.

(Ali started driving and a cop stopped her)

Cop: Miss, can I please see your license?

Ali: Sure. 

(License says: Age, 12. Name, Ali Smith)

Cop: Okay! Thank you!

(Ali continued driving)

Cam: There’s a chicken on the road

Chicken: Bok bok bok bok

Ali:  Oh my god!!!

(Crash)

(Ali drove into a trash can while she was trying to avoid the chicken)

Cam: Really, a trash can?! I think I should drive.

Ali: No! It’s my car and I didn’t want to drive into the chicken.

(Ali and Cam look at the car and it is not damaged at all, no scratches or dents)

Cam: Ummm you can’t drive. No offense.

Ali: Like you can drive better!

Cam: Just let me drive for a couple.

Ali: Oh my god no.

(Ali ran to the car and got in the driver’s seat before Cam. She turned on the car) 

Cam: If we don’t get food then I am going to be hangry.

Ali: Okay fine. 

(Cam got in the car and Ali drove to Shake Shack)


Scene Four: At Shake Shack

Cam: I will order for both of us. What do you want?

Ali: I’ll get a cookies and cream shake, a shack burger, and cheese fries.

Cam: I’m going to get a strawberry shake, a shack burger, and bacon fries. Let me go order. 

(Cam went to order and Ali got a table. Cam brought the food over.)

Ali: Ooh yum! I’ll get some straws.

(Ali went to go get some straws. She came back to the table, sat down and gave Cam a straw. They finished eating)

Cam: Let’s go shopping!!!

Ali: Okay, let’s go to Bergdorf Goodman. 

Cam: Gucci!

Ali: Versace!!

Cam: Jimmy Choo!

Ali: Dolce and Gabbana!! 

Cam: Let’s walk there.

Ali: Okay. It’s on 57 st and 5 ave.

Cam: Okay.

Ali: Let’s go.

(They walked all the way to Bergdorf Goodman.)

Cam: This store is horrid, let’s go to Gucci! 

Ali: Yeah, I agree. Fine we can go to Gucci but after that we go to Louis Vuitton.

Cam: Ok.

Ali: Let’s go.


Scene Five: Gucci Store

Cam: I have to buy a new pair of pants at Cucci so we need to be able to have enough time. 

Ali: Ooh okay!! We can get matching pants!

Cam: Ew, but ok. 

Ali: You’re so mean! That’s just a normal thing that cousins do!

Cam: It’s cringe.

Ali: Um… I was just kidding in the first place! You’re the paranoid one. 

Cam: Let’s buy what we want and go to Nike please. A new store opened close to here.

Ali: Ooh yessss! I need a new pair of Air Forces.

Cam: Yeah my Air Max 270’s just broke. 

Ali: Oh god. Yeah I don’t think I want a bag or a pair of shoes from Louis Vuitton. I was just kidding.

Cam: I agree let’s go!

Ali: Okay.

(Ali and Cam walked to the Nike store)


Scene Six: Nike Store

Cam: Ok the guide says floor two for teens let’s go!

Ali: Okay, I’m going to get a pair of shorts as well.

(Ali and Cam pick out their stuff and bring it to the cashier, two pairs of Air Force 1’s and 6 pairs of shorts)

Cashier: That will be $12,500 please!

(Ali and Cam pay)

Cashier: Thank you kind ma’am!

Cam: Let’s go to our mansions.

Ali: Okay. Mine or yours?

Cam: Mine!

Ali: Okay, okay.

Cam: Where’s your car? It’s pouring outside. Take this umbrella and go get the car. I will wait here for you. Leave your bags with me.

Ali: Okay.

(Ali goes to get the car, she drives back to the nike store and Cam gets in the car. Ali starts driving)


20 minutes later… 

Scene Seven: Cam’s Mansion

Ali: Your house looks like my cats’.

Cam: Teehee! I’m a cat lady. 

(Ali slaps her forehead)

Ali: You mean, crazy cat lady!

Cam: Sure!

Ali: Anyway… want to watch TV?

Cam: What do you want to watch?

Ali: Umm… Barney!

Cam: NO!

Ali: *chuckle* I was just saying that to see your reaction! I took a photo! *starts laughing*

(Ali shows Cam a photo of her face while saying, “No!”)

Cam: Fun, fun, fun in the sun.

Ali: Ummm… okay?

Cam: Ali, go follow me on insta.

Ali: I only follow my friends, or celebrities.

Cam: I’m more important than your friends. Follow me!!

Ali: Fine, I guess.

Cam: My account is cam.lopezz

Ali: Okay, mine is alis.graciie

Cam: Let’s take my Bugatti.

Ali: Okay.

Cam: I’m driving.

Ali: Okay, I’ll sit in the passenger seat.

(Ali looks outside the window and sees a robber)

Cam: Where should we go first?

Ali: Robber!!

Cam: Aaahhhhh!!!

Ali: There’s a robber in our houses!

Cam: Run!!!

(Ali and Cam run into their houses)

Ali: Get out of my house you evil robber!!!

Cam: All our money!!

Ali: He’s getting away!!

(Cam and Ali are worried and furious)

Cam: Run!!!

Ali:  No!! Call the cops!! We won’t be able to get him!!

Cam: I don’t have my phone!

Ali: I Do!! Well, I have mine… but it’s not charged.

Cam: He has my phone and is calling the cops!

(The robber calls the cops on Ali and Cam and frames them for robbing the houses. The cop comes)

Cop: Hands up and do not move!!

(Ali and Cam put their hands up)

Cop: You’re coming with me!

Cam: What?!

Ali: What? We didn’t do anything, this man robbed our mansions!

Cam: Exactly!

Cop: Well a man called and said two females identified as the famous Ali Grace and Cam Lopez robbed him! How do you explain that, huh?!

(Two police put handcuffs on Ali and Cam and take them to juvie)

Ali: Let me go! Let me go!!

Cam: Stop please!

(Ali bangs on the window)

Cam: What should we do?

Ali: I don’t know! I guess we have to deal with it.

Cam: Ugh ok.


Scene Eight: Court

Ali: We swear that we didn’t do it!

Judge: Where is your lawyer?

Ali: Here sir.

(Lawyer walks in)

Lawyer (Mr. Chimmins): Hello sir.

Judge: And why might your clients not have done this crime?

Mr Chimmins: You see, I was doing a photoshoot with Ms. Ali’s sister. She is a model and I am also a photographer. I just happened to take some photo evidence of the robber and the scared crying faces of Ms. Ali and Cam.

(Mr. Chimmins shows the Judge the photos)

Judge: Case closed! You two are proven not guilty but you have a fine. Ali: $1,000,000 and Cam: $1,000,000 as well

Cam: Let’s go Ali.

Ali: Okay fine. I guess I still have more!

Judge: Oh then I’ll take that too. 

Ali and Cam: Ugh!! We’re broke!!

The End

Cactus

Guy and Cactus are punching each other in zero gravity floating in space. They are right above the moon. They’re waiting for a shuttle than can take them to Uranus. They are punching each other because one wants the border wall between Uranus and its moon, Myanus.

Guy

The wall is good!


Cactus

The one between Uranus and Myanus? That one is shit!!!


Out pops a map from behind the stage. It shows “Uranus” and “Myanus,” with a wall between them. Then the map flips around, and it shows what Cactus wants. An empty space and a bridge between them.

The shuttle picks them up. (Cactus and Guy are walking around the stage.)

(They are on Myanus now.)

There is a tree that says, “Welcome to Myanus,” on a sign.

They start punching each other again.

Cactus 

We’re on Myanus?!


Guy 

No, we’re on Myanus!!!


Cactus 

No, we’re on Myanus!!!


Guy

No, we’re on Myanus!!!

Guy runs to the border and starts piling bricks for the wall.

Cactus runs over and starts taking bricks to the bridge.

(This keeps on going for 10 hours.)

(Both people faint.)

The next day… 

Guy eats a Big Mac burger.

Cactus eats a watermelon.

An hour later… 

Guy

We’re on Myanus!


Cactus

No, we are on Myanus!

Random guy wearing a shirt that says “no wall.” Guy whacks random guy on the head.

(Random guy does not like Guy because he does not like the wall.)

Guy is dead.


Cactus 

Hooray! 


He now gets everything he wants (that is reasonable). Some things that are reasonable are gold, gold, and gold. Cactus gets showered in gold.


The Library

ACT ONE

SCENE 1

PLUTO is sitting in the library, reading books. This is the only place where he is not bullied. A lot of people in his class make fun of him for reading a lot.

PLUTO

Excuse me, Miss Agnes? I wanted to know if you had the book under the library code 6712.

MISS AGNES

Let me check the system. I suppose it’s here. Not many people read about law enforcement.

PLUTO

Thank you very much.

After PLUTO receives his book on law enforcement, he heads over to his classroom.

BULLY #1

Ha ha, you’re spending your whole recess in the library!

BULLY #1 says this while punching PLUTO in the stomach.

BULLY #2

Stupid boy here was in the library, it seems.

BULLY #3

Oh shut up, I have worse things to say about him. He’s a cake-sniffing brat. And he eats pizza.

BULLY #2

What type of insult is that?

BULLY #3

It’s a cake-sniffing brat pizza eater insult.

BULLY #1

Okay.

BULLY #3

Oh, and did I tell you he loves to eat pasta?

BULLY #2

He eats pasta? What the heck?

BULLY #3

Also, he watches television.

BULLY #1

He can’t. He spends all his time in the library, don’t you?

As PLUTO walks away, he sees MISS AGNES in trouble. MISS AGNES is trying to put back some books according to library code, but seems to be tripping. PLUTO runs as fast as he can and catches MISS AGNES before she falls off the ladder. As MISS AGNES thanks him, he hears the bell ring. He runs to the classroom to see his teacher waiting.

TEACHER

You’re late. I heard from a lot of kids that you were spending your time in the library. You’re supposed to be outside playing. And you skipped lunch. What an embarrassment! Now shut up and get to your seat. Oh, and did I forget to tell you that Owen, Justice, and Michael said you punched them in the stomach and said they were cake-sniffing, pizza-eating, television-watching, pasta-swallowing brats? What an embarrassment. You are the worst kid in the class, and you shall be banned from the library. You will sit out all of your recess in here, reading the Bible. And you shall skip lunch, and I will starve you until you die! And, as your punishment for today, I will dump you in a box full of box jellyfish, the most venomous jellyfish in the world. I hope you’re happy!


ACT TWO

SCENE 1

         PLUTO dumps himself in a glass showcase full of Australian box jellyfish. The stage goes black, and a huge nest appears out of the black. An egg hatches, and out comes a lightbulb, and a very deep voice comes out:

BRAIN

Bring food to school.

Another egg hatches.

BRAIN

Kill box jellyfish using a Band-Aid. Put the Band-Aid on top of the jellyfish, and the jellyfish will stop and drop to the bottom of the tank.

All eggs hatch.

BRAIN

Use modern witchcraft and wizardry!

Stage goes black


ACT THREE

SCENE 1

In “prison cell” a.k.a box jellyfish tank.

TEACHER

What does it say on page 397,000?

PLUTO

As God sent down the ten commandments… Oh, I’ll just stop talking. I already know the whole history of the golden lamb.

TEACHER

You have to keep on reading or else I’ll kill you. You have to keep on reading or else I’ll drive a knife through your stomach. I’ll also shred you like cheese. Or I’ll bring in my pet cobra!!!

PLUTO

5556677mkilopuutg

TEACHER
Stop that! And keep reading!

PLUTO dissolves.


ACT FOUR

SCENE 1

PLUTO enters the locked-up library.

MISS AGNES

Pluto, what are you doing here? And how did you — Oh. I know. I should have never let you look at that modern witchcraft and wizardry book.

PLUTO

I need books 667, 789, and 2394.

MISS AGNES

Okay. I’ll search the system. It seems they’re all here.

As PLUTO starts reading the books, MISS AGNES locks the library and leaves. She knows that PLUTO will be able to leave on his own.

PLUTO

1234567890-=[][ppoiuiyt54rfgbhytgytfhfjgjhgbvv cdftghbvdhdtfghb erhgfeyjk,.kiuhtfdsete6d5g3ef!!!!@#$%^&*()

PLUTO disappears into a book.

END OF BOOK ONE


Shortys and the Big Race

 

     Scene One: The Beginning

 

On stage, we see a bush and a red brick wall and no trees. It’s bright, sunny, and hot. There’s chirping birds.

 

MILLY (off stage)

Hey! Wait up.

 

Four girls run on stage. Emy first, Milly second, Kayla third, and Cat last. Emy touches the wall, and Milly closes her eyes and puts her hand in the bush.

 

EMY

First place.

 

Emy flips her golden hair with her hand.

 

MILLY

Second place.

 

Emy and Cat laugh as Kayla touches the wall.

 

KAYLA

Second place.

 

She puts an imaginary medal around her neck. Cat misses the wall by inches.

 

CAT

Third! I would be first if my mean sister Kay…

 

KAYLA

Watch it sissy.

 

EMY

I’m still counting!

 

Cat taps the wall with her finger.

 

CAT (muttering)

Third.

 

The narrator walks out as Cat silently argues with her sister, and Emy tries to break up the fight. Milly still has her hand in the bush, not noticing what’s going on. She has her eyes closed.

 

NARRATOR

The four girls called themselves the shortys because they each had long names that they had shortened. Emy was Emuleta, Kayla was Kaylamenta, Cat was Catrenen, and Milly was Milliana. They shortened them because they didn’t like them, and then people could pronounce them and couldn’t make fun of them.

 

EMY

Open your eyes, Milly.

 

Milly opens her eyes and sees her hand is in a bush. She pulls out her hand and touches the wall.

 

MILLY (muttering)

Last.

 

Their enemy Jane comes on with her sidekicks Lily, Gale, and Sadie.

 

JANE

Oh my. Lookie here.

 

CAT

Shut up, Jane.

 

EMY

You remember the time where we tricked you into jumping into the lake?

 

KAYLA

Don’t make fun of our names.

 

JANE

I challenge you to a relay race.

 

CAT

It is on!

 

Scene Two: The Training

 

We see a brick wall and Milly snoozing on the ground.

 

KAYLA

Come on, come on, come on.

 

Kayla runs on with Cat trailing behind her.

 

CAT

Hey, wait up! You got a head start! That’s cheating!

 

Emy walks on.

 

EMY

Okay, now the order. Cat, you first.

 

CAT

Why me?

 

EMY

Just, just…

 

KAYLA

You heard her. You’re first!

 

She turns to Emy.

 

KAYLA

Me next, right?

 

EMY

Sure.

 

CAT

Yeah, yeah,

 

EMY

Me next, of course!

 

KAYLA

And finally, Milly!

 

Milly sits up.

 

MILLY

Did I hear my name?

 

EMY

You did. You’ll be finishing off the race for us.

 

Milly faints.

 

EMY

Did I say something?

 

Scene Three: The Race

 

Narrator comes on stage.

 

NARRATOR

The race!!!

 

Narrator walks off stage and coach walks on.

 

COACH

Ready, set, go!

 

Cat starts to run off the stage, and narrator comes on.

 

NARRATOR

So they ran and ran and ran and ran, and Cat came in second behind Lily. And then Kayla started to run. And right behind her was Gale, but Kayla stayed ahead of her and finished before her. And then Emy started to sprint. She ran and ran and ran and ran. She was almost halfway there when Gale came home and Sadie started and Emy took first before Sadie. Then, Milly started to run.

 

Milly runs on stage with Jane close behind.

 

NARRATOR

Milly ran and Jane ran and Milly ran and Jane ran.

 

Milly and Jane turn towards the audience and run in place. They run off stage and come back on stage, and Lily, Emy, and Kayla come on stage to see the end of the race. And Jane has her hand out to touch the wall. And she touches something.

 

JANE

First.

 

Everyone laughs. And Milly touches the wall and cries with joy.

 

MILLY

First.

 

Jane opens her eyes and sees her hand in a bush.

 

MILLY

This memory is a keeper.

 

EMY

Good job!

 

Everyone bows.

 

ALL

The End.

 

Everyone walks off but Kayla.

 

KAYLA

See you in my next book, “Odd One Out.”

 

Emy walks on as Kayla takes a silly bow.

 

EMY

Come on, Kay. We don’t have forever!

 

Emy starts to pull Kayla off stage as she sends fake kisses to the audience.

 

 

 

One Look is Friendship

 

JADA: Main character

GABBY: Jada’s best friend

JUSTIN: Jada’s brother

MADDIE, CORA, and STEPHANIE: Mean girls

DAD and MOM

NARRATOR

 

Erika: MADDIE

Samantha: STEPHANIE and MOM

Lydia: CORA

Ronni: JADA

Belinda: GABBY and NARRATOR

Andrew: DAD and JUSTIN

 

Waking up in bed. JADA puts clothes on, brushes hair, goes downstairs, brushes teeth, and eats cereal. Bus honks. Thirty minutes later, she is at school.

MADDIE: Hey, did you finish my homework? I’m not gonna pay you this week if you didn’t.

CORA and STEPHANIE cross arms. JUSTIN arrives.

JUSTIN: Stop bullying her. What did she ever do to you?

MADDIE: Fine.

JADA (to JUSTIN): Thank you so much.

JADA exits. GABBY enters.

GABBY: What happened over there? Did they want to get their homework again? You should stop letting them do that to you.

JADA: I have to get money to get a new car.

GABBY: Only until you get a new car.

Bell rings.

Thirty minutes later. Lunchtime. JADA sits down with GABBY. CORA, MADDIE, and STEPHANIE arrive at their table.

MADDIE: Where’s my homework? I’m literally not gonna pay you for three weeks!

JADA: Okay, okay, I’ll give it to you tomorrow.

MADDIE: Don’t tell Justin I told you this, or you know what’s gonna happen.

MADDIE exits. JUSTIN enters.

JUSTIN: Did she ask you for her homework again? Tell me the truth.

JADA: She did not ask me.

JUSTIN: Okay.

JUSTIN exits.

GABBY: Why didn’t you tell him the truth?

JADA: Because you know what’s gonna happen. She’s not gonna pay me for the whole month

GABBY: You can’t go on like this! You can get a job.

JADA: I don’t want a job! I have to do this.

GABBY: Whatever you say.

GABBY exits. Five minutes later, bell rings, and JADA exits the lunchroom. Three hours later, she is done with school, and GABBY is walking home with JADA. GABBY goes home first because her house is closer.

GABBY: Bye, see you tomorrow!

Five minutes later, JADA is home,

JADA (to her MOM): Um, Mom, the girls also want their homework, and I forgot where I put it, so I need to find it today.

MOM: Honey, you have to stop letting them do these things to you. You have to stop doing homework all the time, you have a life.

DAD enters.

DAD: What’s going on in here?

MOM: Oh, well the girls still want her homework, and they’re still bossing her around to get money.

DAD: You have to stop letting them bully you. I’m going to school with you tomorrow, and I’m going to talk to them.

JADA eats dinner, takes a shower, brushes her teeth, and goes to bed.

The next day, JADA sees GABBY, and they walk to school. JADA’s dad meets JADA at school, and JADA sees her dad talking to MADDIE, STEPHANIE, and CORA.

STEPHANIE: Hey, what do you want? Oh, and by the way, we still need our homework from your daughter.

CORA: Yeah we do! You know how much homework we gave her? We need it today.

JADA: Dad, what are you doing here? Go home! It’s embarrassing!

DAD: Okay honey, I’ll go home.

MADDIE: Dad calls you honey, not princess?

CORA: Where’s the homework? We need it today. You know that!

JADA hands them the homework.

JADA: Here’s your homework.

STEPHANIE: Okay.

Gives the homework back.

It doesn’t look like our handwriting. Just do one more line, and it will look like our handwriting.

JADA takes the homework back.

JADA: Okay, but you have to pay me extra this week, or I’m not giving your homework back.

MADDIE (rolling her eyes): Ugh, fine.

JADA walks off to class.

MADDIE: Where’s our homework? We need it now! She’s calling us up!

JADA: Where’s my money first?

MADDIE gives JADA the money, and JADA gives MADDIE her homework.

MADDIE: Finally.

MADDIE, CORA, and STEPHANIE go to the teacher and gives them the homework. Three hours later, she is done with school. Gets home and counts all her money and runs downstairs.

JADA: Oh my gosh, Mom, I have enough money to buy a new car! I don’t have to do their homework anymore!

Runs down the street and knocks on GABBY’s door.

JADA: Gabby, I have enough to buy a new car! I don’t have to do their homework anymore!

GABBY: We have to have a celebration at my house tomorrow!

JADA: Okay, tomorrow it is.

JADA gets back home.

JADA (to her parents): We’re gonna have a celebration tomorrow!

MOM and DAD: Okay, let’s go!

MOM: Go eat dinner, brush your teeth, get in the shower, and then get into bed.

JADA: Okay.

JUSTIN enters.

JADA: I don’t have to do their homework anymore! I have the right amount to buy a new car!

JUSTIN: Oh my god, I’m so proud of you!

JADA: Okay, could you come to my celebration? It’s tomorrow at eight.

JUSTIN: Sure, I’ll be there!

JADA exits. The next day. A huge celebration. GABBY calls JADA’s MOM and DAD.

GABBY: It’s time to do the decorations! Hurry, my house!

GABBY calls JUSTIN.

GABBY: Hurry, the celebration! We need decorations!

JUSTIN: Okay, I’m gonna call everybody from school to come. And I’ll get some decorations too.

MOM and DAD (to JADA): Honey, we’ll be back later.

JADA: Okay, see you later! Remember the celebration! Don’t be late!

MOM and DAD: Okay.

JADA arrives at GABBY’s house. GABBY opens the door.

Everyone: Surprise!!

JADA: Oh my gosh! I can’t believe you planned this!

JADA sees MADDIE, STEPHANIE, and CORA.

What are you doing here? I thought you didn’t like me or something.

MADDIE: I’m sorry for bossing you around with all these things. I got this car for you.

JADA: But what about all that money you gave me for doing your homework?

MADDIE: It’s okay. You can keep it and buy another car.

JADA: Well, do you want to hang out sometime? Just not this time because we’re having a party.

NARRATOR: And they had a great time.

 

Friendship Song

JADA: Friendship comes with a key everywhere,

MADDIE: Even if it’s harder than it looks.

GABBY: We’re all in it together,

JUSTIN: No matter if it’s rough.

EVERYBODY: We can do it,

Because it goes on, it goes on,

Because friendship is the key to victory.

JADA and MADDIE: We started off as enemies, but then we became good friends.

GABBY and STEPHANIE: We both found something interesting we like together,

EVERYONE: We all end up friends.

 

Typed by Belinda Becker Jacob

 

The Situation

I have a secret. I know that we’re moving and that Dad has to stay behind because he has cancer, and they can’t take care of him where we are moving. Now, I’m confused about what to do. I’m going to go and break everything to Jake.

 

MAYRA goes to JAKE’s room and knocks on the door.

 

MAYRA: Knock, knock.

JAKE: Come in!!!

MAYRA: Um, Jake, can I talk to you about Dad please?

JAKE: Um, sure. About what, and why are you so serious too? Are you okay? Like, you’re worrying me?

MAYRA: Okay, umm here I go, um um, okay, so um.

JAKE: Mayra, just spill it already! I can’t take the tension!!!

MAYRA: Okay fine, we’re moving, and Dad’s not coming because he has cancer. Oh, and Mom said if you want Chick-fil-A.

JAKE: Whoa, you can’t drop a bomb like that then ask me about Chick-fil-A! So let me get this straight. We’re moving, and Dad can’t come because he has cancer. I am overwhelmed. Wait, when did he get diagnosed, and why did they tell you and not me? I’m the older sibling!!

MAYRA: Okay, Jake. Calm down, deep breath, and they didn’t tell me I wa /

JAKE: / Wait, please don’t tell me you eavesdropped on Mom and Dad again!!!

MAYRA: Okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay, I didn’t eavesdrop. I just happened to walk by at the right moment, and I heard everything, so I freaked out and came to tell you.

JAKE: I’m going to tell Mom and Dad!

 

JAKE says as he goes downstairs with MAYRA rushing after him, yelling to not tell on her.

 

MAYRA: Noooooo! Do not tell Mom and Dad. They will kill me for telling you and eavesdropping on them and an /

JAKE: / Aha, I knew you were going to eavesdrop. I know you so well.

MOM: Don’t tell Mom and Dad what, and why will we kill you, Mayra? You’re not answering me!

MAYRA: We can’t tell you about the surprise trip we planned to the zoo, and you’d kill me for not telling you ‘cause I know you lovvvvvve penguins.

MOM: Awww, thank you! Let me call your father. Eric!!!

DAD: Yeah, Marilyn?!

MOM: Come down here. Mayra made a surprise for all of us to go to the zoo tomorrow.

 

DAD comes down the stairs and into kitchen where everyone else is.

 

DAD: Oh, well that’s nice but I can’t. Do you remember the “incident?”

MAYRA: What “incident?”

MOM: Oh, nothing.

 

Scene 2: The Zoo (Where MAYRA gets in trouble)

MOM: Alright, everyone get in the car. We’re going to the zoo. Woo hoo!

JAKE: I call shotgun!!!

MAYRA: What, no fair! You always get shotgun! Mom, tell him it’s not fair!!!

MOM: Sweetheart, just let your brother sit here, and coming back you can sit here. Is that okay?

MAYRA: Fine.

JAKE: Ha ha ha. I’m the favorite child, I’m the favorite child, I’m the favori / Ow!!

 

/ MAYRA knocks JAKE in the head.

 

MOM: Mayra!!

MAYRA: What? He was being annoying, and I shut him up.

MOM: Still, that’s not an excuse. Say sorry!

MAYRA: Sorry, uh not fair!

JAKE: Hahahahaha!

DAD: Bye, guys. Love you. Have fun.

 

They get out of the car and go to the seal exhibition.

 

MOM: I appreciate Mayra making the whole trip just for us.

MAYRA: No problem, Mom.

JAKE: I’m going to go buy something to eat. You guys are welcome to come.

 

While they are walking to go get something to eat, they pass by the penguin exhibit.

 

MOM: Look at the penguin, it looks miserable.

JAKE: Oh, yeah, like someone I know.

 

Myra looks at JAKE sternly.

 

Myra: Jake, shut up!

 

MAYRA gives her mom a concerned look.

 

MAYRA: (scratching arm) Mom, I have to tell you something.

MOM: (raising her eyebrow) Yeah, what?

MAYRA: Mom, I overheard you and Dad’s conversations yesterday. I know everything, I know Dad has cancer, and that we’re moving.

MOM: I can’t believe you eavesdropped on our conversation. We’re going home!

JAKE: (mouth full of food) What!? I started eating!

 

End Scene

 

MAYRA is in the hallway and knocks on her mom’s door, concerned and disappointed with her actions.

 

MAYRA: I’m sorry, Mom. I know you’re mad at me, but please just let me explain.

MOM: What? Mayra, I’ve made my decision, and no, I’m not mad. I’m upset! I’m glad you told me that you know, but you are going to have to pay with three weeks of chores.

MAYRA: What!! Three weeks, uh fine, whatever makes you happy.

MOM: Go upstairs, kiddo. Good night.

 

MAYRA runs upstairs and into JAKE’s room while slamming the door.

 

JAKE: What do you want? You cost me my zoo food!

MAYRA: Let’s sneak out to steal a penguin.

JAKE: Okay, I know you’re obsessed with penguins, but this is a whole new type of crazy. Mayra, how do you suppose to keep the penguin cool in a hot house in summer, and how are you going to get there and not get caught?

MAYRA: You have a license, right?

 

JAKE nods and looks at MAYRA very concerned.

 

MAYRA: Looks like I have my getaway car and driver.

JAKE: Oh no, you are not dragging me into this!

MAYRA: Pleasssse. I’ll tell Mom about Brittany!

JAKE: No, you know how Mom hates Brittany’s mom. Fine, I’ll go!

MAYRA: Yay, we’re stealing a penguin!

JAKE: Ssshhhh, we’ll get caught!

MAYRA: Awww, you said “we.” Yay!!

 

End Scene

 

MAYRA and JAKE leave the zoo. They are walking slowly down the corridor towards the parking lot. Myra cups her hands tightly over her mouth in an attempt to cover her devious grin. JAKE rolls his eyes.

 

JAKE: Okay, Mayra, this is your last chance. Are you sure you want to steal this penguin?

MAYRA: Jake, I know you’re worried that we’re gonna get caught, but just trust me.

JAKE: Fine, whatever, but I called backup. We have to pick her up, okay.

MAYRA: Please don’t say it’s Brittany.

JAKE: What do you have against my girlfriend? She’s nice and pretty and really likes me, so please try to be nice to her please.

MAYRA: Fine, whatever.

MAYRA: You know, I don’t want to steal the penguin anymore. I’m going to bed. Good night.

JAKE: I knew it would work. Wow, she really hates Brittany. Eh, at least I don’t have        

to steal a penguin.

MAYRA (to the audience): So in the end, we ended up not moving, and Dad got better which is a win in any way we can get. And Mom is happier than before, but I’m still grounded so…

 

Tips to Business

    

JIMMY and BILL are walking on a New York City street together.

 

BILL

So, Grandson, you want to become a successful businessman, you say? Well, I’ve got a few tips and tricks for you!

 

JIMMY

I’m listening.

 

BILL

First off, when your boss asks for a plain hot dog, always get him a plain hot dog. If you get him any condiments, he’ll kill you.

 

JIMMY

Does that have anything to do with actual business?

 

BILL

Of course it does! Real business doesn’t mean numbers and paperwork! It’s about getting your boss the right dog! That’s how I got to be a businessman!

 

JIMMY

Did you actually move from the level you started at? Did your paycheck change at all?

 

BILL

Of course it did! When I retired, I was earning fifty fewer dollars a week than when I started!

 

JIMMY

Oookkkaaaayy. That’s one way to view it.

 

BILL

Anyways, let’s move on. Another trick to move you up the ladder of business is to always make sure there are missed calls on your phone. It makes you look important. The trick to that is you call yourself a bunch of times on your iPhone from the stall. It worked so well! Everyone thought I had stomach problems when I got back twenty minutes later!

 

JIMMY

I don’t exactly get what this has to do with becoming a well-known businessman…

 

BILL

Well that, my son, is because you are not experienced! When you grow up, you will understand the stress of stomach problems!

 

JIMMY

That’s not what I don’t understand. I don’t understand how missed calls make you look important. It just makes you look unresponsive.

 

BILL

Forget it.

 

JIMMY

Thank god.

 

BILL

One of my most useful tricks in being a successful businessman is to always be drinking coffee. If you have coffee, it makes you look like you stayed up late to do work. But really, all it did was keep me up late! I got to watch more of The Brady Bunch! Who’s your favorite character? Mine’s Cindy. She’s soooooo pretty!

 

JIMMY

I don’t get why any of what you said has anything to do with becoming a good businessman. Marcia’s the cute one.

 

BILL

No way. She dates ugly guys. Cindy’s really mature.

 

JIMMY

She still likes dolls! Do you call that mature?

 

BILL

I still play with dolls! And I’m mature!

 

JIMMY

I’d debate that. Anyways, let’s get back on track. Why exactly does drinking coffee help you become a successful businessman?

 

BILL

Well, let’s face it. I didn’t see any of my colleagues, like Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos, drinking coffee. And look where they wound up.

 

JIMMY

Um, Grandpa, Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos are two of the richest and most successful people in the world. And why didn’t you tell me that you worked with them? I should’ve asked them for advice instead of you!

 

JIMMY starts typing on his phone.

 

BILL

Are you kidding me? I have just gave you the greatest advice in the history of business! Bill and John don’t like Marcia! And trust me, I asked them!

 

JIMMY

Sorry, say that again? I was busy scheduling lunch with Gates and breakfast with Bezos the next day.

 

BILL

You don’t need any more tips, you just got the greatest advice ever! How many times do I have to say it!

 

JIMMY

To be honest, I haven’t really gotten any useful tips from you today. I’d rather take tips from the internet than from you, and I never listen to the internet. No offense.

 

BILL starts tearing up.

 

BILL

No, no, I understand.

(Snuffle)

You don’t listen to people who play with dolls. But listen. I went to Bill Gates’ house one day when we were friends, and he had a whole dollhouse. But I know, the internet doesn’t play with dolls.

 

JIMMY

No, no, that’s not what I meant.

(Puts arm around BILL.)

I just meant that you’re not the best advice person. I admire that you play with dolls. To be honest, I have the whole Barbie set at home.

 

BILL

You do? That makes me feel a whole lot better.

 

BILL hugs JIMMY.

 

The scene quickly changes to an apartment. BILL and JIMMY are playing with dolls. They have their arms around each other.

 

Blackout.

 

The Odd Rock

        

Scene 1

A house in a farmland. It is the year of 2017. MOM is in a big farmhouse kitchen. She

pours smoothies from a blender into a glass on the kitchen table.

 

MOM yells towards the stairs.

 

MOM

Kelly, come on down. You’re going to miss the bus.

 

KELLY’S voice comes from upstairs

 

KELLY

Coming.

 

MOM

I made you a smoothie.

 

KELLY

Thanks.

 

KELLY

Mom, have you seen my backpack?

 

MOM

I brought it down here so I could pack it.

 

KELLY

Thanks.

 

MOM walks upstairs.

 

MOM

Kelly, get out of bed!

 

DAD walks in.

 

DAD

Kelly, what are you doing? The bus is honking outside!!!

 

KELLY

Ughh, again?

 

DAD

Kelly, I can’t drive you to school every day because you miss the bus.

 

KELLY

Please, just one more time.

 

DAD

No, I have a meeting today, and I can’t be late.

 

KELLY

Mom, can you drive me please?

 

MOM

This is the last time. Tomorrow, you have to get up on time.

 

KELLY

Fine.

 

Scene 2

They’re outside. It is 8:00 in the morning, and they’re walking to car.

 

MOM

Get in.

 

KELLY

What time will we be there?

 

MOM

8:30. Why?

 

KELLY

Shoot, my teacher said that if I was late one more time, I would get detention.

 

MOM

But you have been taking the bus for a while.

 

KELLY

Yes, but you give me breakfast, and I am not allowed to eat in the bus, so I hide in the bathroom and eat for an hour.

 

MOM

Why would you do that?

 

KELLY

I don’t want to choke.  

 

MOM

Well, we are here, and you have ate your breakfast. Go straight to your class and give her this note.

 

KELLY

What does it say?

 

MOM

You will see. Now go.

 

KELLY

Kay, bye.

 

MOM

Bye, sweety.

 

KELLY

Mom, you’re embarrassing me. All you have to say is bye.

 

MOM

Sorry.

 

KELLY

Bye.

 

MOM drives away. KELLY walks over to her best friend, ALLY.

 

ALLY

Kelly, you are so lucky. There was a fire drill, and class is starting late today.

 

KELLY

Yes, but I bought a donut, so I need to hide and eat it.

 

ALLY

Can you ever not bring food?!

 

KELLY

NO.

 

ALLY

Kelly, Kelly, Kelly.

 

KELLY

Ally, Ally, Ally.

 

ALLY

What!

 

KELLY

Do you want to ride my horses after school?

 

ALLY

Sure.

 

All the kids go to class, and KELLY goes to the bathroom.

 

TEACHER

Ally, do you know where Kelly went?

 

ALLY

Umm, she is using the bathroom.

 

TEACHER

Really using the bathroom?

 

ALLY

Not really.

 

TEACHER

Then what is she doing?

 

ALLY

She is eating a donut.

 

TEACHER

Thank you for telling the truth, Ally.

 

ALLY

You are welcome.

 

TEACHER

I am going to go get her. Everyone stay put.

 

TEACHER leaves.

 

ALLY

Let’s PARTY!!!

 

TEACHER walks into bathroom.

 

TEACHER

Go to the principal.

 

KELLY tries to talk with a donut in her mouth.

 

KELLY

Mojciusrfbvwgifvgsuvgfukvgfuseagsugybusbgfkusgbfjsdgfkjdsgfkh.

 

TEACHER points, and KELLY runs out.

 

After school in the barn.

 

KELLY

Let’s go to my house.

 

They walk out of the barn, and there are two very shiny rocks in front of the door. They

pick them up, and they are zapped to a backwards place.

 

KELLY

Where are we?

 

GUY walks up to them.

 

GUY

Ereh evil uoy od?

 

KELLY

What in the name of horses did you just say?

 

GUY
Ereh evil uoy od?

 

ALLY

I think he is talking backwards.   

 

KELLY

Good thing I have these.

 

KELLY holds up a thing that goes in your ear so you can tell what GUY is saying. The

gadget translates backwards talk into regular talk. It also translates what KELLY and

ALLY say to the backwards man.

 

ALLY

Where on Earth did you get those?

 

KELLY

In the teacher’s lounge?

 

KELLY

Don’t even ask.

 

They put them in.

 

GUY

I said do you live here?

 

KELLY

No, but can you help us go back to the real world?

 

GUY

Come to dinner with me.  

 

They go to a restaurant, and the waitress ask them what they want backwards. KELLY

holds a menu. It’s backwards. They start with dessert.

 

KELLY

What on Earth does this say?

 

ALLY

Just order something you like.

 

They can’t read the menu.

 

GIRL

Can I get you something?

 

KELLY

Can I have a grill cheese?

 

GIRL

(Through the translation device)

Ugh, we don’t serve grilled cheese. We serve roasted worm, slug, elephant tusks, raw fish heads, and lions’ heads with mane.

 

KELLY

I think I’ll just have a water then.

 

GIRL

We don’t serve water. We have elephant blood, lion’s blood, and worm juice.

 

KELLY

Well, then, I’m okay. I’ll just sit here.

 

GUY raises his hand.

 

GUY

I’ll have all the items and drinks, please.

 

GIRL

Coming right up!

 

KELLY

Ew.

 

GUY

What is so gross?

 

KELLY

You eat this stuff.

 

GUY

Yes, this is what everyone eats.

 

ALLY

Well I think we have to go home now. Right, Kelly?

 

KELLY

But where are we going to sleep?

 

GUY

You can stay at my house.

 

KELLY

Ugh.

 

GUY

Come on. Let’s go to my house. I am finished.

 

KELLY

Really? You ate all that in two minutes?

 

GUY

Yes.

 

GUY

Well, come on. Eating makes me sleepy.

 

KELLY

Where is your house?

 

GUY

Right there.

 

KELLY

Which one?

 

GUY

That big mansion right there.

 

ALLY

Wow, that is a really big house.

 

GUY

Yes, you guys will sleep on the 10th floor. Good night.

 

KELLy and ALLY

Good night.

 

GUY

Good night. Sleep tight.

 

ALLY

See you in the morning.  

 

The next morning.

 

GUY

Good morning, Kelly. Where’s Ally?

 

ALLY

Right behind her. Are you blind or something?

 

GUY
Actually, yes.

 

KELLY

Wait, really?

 

GUY

No, of course not. If I was blind, I would not know where the man you need to see to get to your old world is.

 

KELLY

Really? Where is he?

 

GUY

Right in front of you.

 

To be continued…

 

Friends Forever

       

CHARACTERS:

  1. SUN
  2. WIND
  3. RAIN
  4. LIGHTNING
  5. KING

 

Scene 1

In the Writopia Lab, in the little room with couches.

 

SUN

Hey, Wind!

 

WIND

(Rolling his eyes at SUN)

What, Sun!

 

SUN

I hear Rain’s gonna flood the area!

(SUN nudging WIND)

Think you can stop it?

 

WIND

Any time, Sun!

 

RAIN

(laughing and bragging)

Ha! Beat me!? My floods wreck the world! I might even start it right now!

 

WIND

What! This very instant! I’ve not prepared anything yet!

 

SUN

OOOoooo! Is wind… scared!

 

WIND

No.

(WIND shivering and trembling)

Just a little cold.

 

SUN

Really? Then, I’m the Sun! I’ll warm you! Or you should have been warm right next to me… Unless you were… no, Wind, scared!?

 

WIND

STOP IT!!!

 

WIND’S face is red, and he is breathing hard.

 

RAIN

(bragging)

Oooooo! The Great Wind! Can’t you fight me?

 

WIND

(comes up with idea)

No, I can’t.

(RAIN and SUN laughing)

But Sun, can you?

 

 

Scene 2

 

SUN

(SUN is frozen. SUN pauses)

Sure I can.

(SUN gets calmer)

Better than you, scaredy Wind!

 

WIND

(WIND frowns)

I’ll be working while you two have your great Sun vs. Rain battle.

 

WIND starts push ups. RAIN and SUN are making loud noises when they fight.

 

SUN

AAHHHHH!!!

(SUN gets struck by RAIN)

 

LIGHTNING

BOOM!!!

(LIGHTNING strikes away)

 

SUN

Hey!

(SUN pushes through the clouds)

I’m going to shine my way through your nasty storm!

 

WIND  

Need some help? I’ve been practicing!

 

SUN

(breathing hard)

No, thank you, but I got it under control!

(LIGHTNING strikes SUN)

Whooo!

 

WIND

Oh really?

 

WIND saves SUN from LIGHTNING

 

SUN

Well…

 

 

Scene 3

 

RAIN

(mockingly)

What, you now want to fight to protect poor, little Sun?

 

SUN

(face burning up)

NOOOOO!!!

 

LIGHTNING

Yea! We will crush you!!!

 

RAIN

Hey, Wind, shouldn’t  you be on our side?

 

LIGHTNING

Yea. Winds are in storms!

 

RAIN

Unless… you want to help your poor Sun?

 

WIND

Well…

(pauses)

why should I help you destroy Earth?

 

RAIN

No, no. We will take over Earth, ruling Earth and its subjects together forever!

 

LIGHTNING

But then wouldn’t Earth’s subjects be dead already from the damage we did?

 

RAIN

Shush, Lightning. You work for me now, remember?

(RAIN’S face burns.)

 

WIND

Yes, Lightning does work for you, I suppose… But on the other hand, she does make a point. Who exactly would we be ruling over?

 

RAIN

(furious)

THE WORLD, DUMMY!

 

LIGHTNING

(curious)

Who on the world?

 

RAIN

Who cares! The world is great!

(burning up)

 

SUN

(whispering to LIGHTNING)

Is she always like this?

 

LIGHTNING

Sometimes.

(pauses)

Only when she’s angered like right now.

 

WIND

(whispering to SUN and LIGHTNING)

I think we know  her secret!

 

 

Scene 4

 

SUN

Really? What!

 

LIGHTNING

You seem really eager.

 

SUN

I’ll get that Rain for what she did to me!

 

LIGHTNING

Oh, right.

(LIGHTNING looking down)

I’m sorry if I hurt you badly.

 

SUN

Oh, it’s fine. I’m okay, by the way.

 

WIND

Alright, guys, we need a plan! Lightning? Any info on this?

 

LIGHTNING

Umm? You basically got it.

 

SUN

Are you sure there is nothing else?

 

WIND

Okay, let’s not scare Lightning! He could strike at us at any moment!

 

SUN

Yea, but —

 

LIGHTNING

We should hurry before Rain turns into a mega storm!

 

SUN

So you do know something!

(SUN raises an eyebrow)

 

WIND

Yea, but what’s a storm without Wind and Lightning?

 

LIGHTNING

Gives a worried glance to WIND and then to SUN

You have not seen the worst of Rain, have you!?

 

SUN

(gulping)

NO!

 

RAIN

(WHOOSH!)

I will destroy Earth and everyone on it! And rule over EARTH once and for all!!!

 

WIND

But again, who is it you will be ruling over?

 

RAIN

Ugh!!! You again! Why won’t you just let me go on with my plans!

(RAIN gets idea)

Or you could just join me.

 

WIND

Uh, yea, no thanks. I work my own way.

 

RAIN

Oh really! We could be best buds, and I really need some help right about now. So? What do you say?

 

LIGHTNING whispers to WIND.

 

LIGHTNING

She is trying to trick you!

 

RAIN

Oh, don’t listen to her. Besides, why would I do that, hmm?

 

WIND

(WIND shakes her head)

I’m not falling for your trap!

 

SUN

Yea, Wind, don’t fall into any of her silly traps! You can beat them anyway!

 

RAIN

Eerr! I was so close! Come on!!

 

LIGHTNING

You’re not getting away with us that easily!

 

 

Scene 5

 

RAIN

How will you destroy me? You’re just a worthless gang of nothingness!!! Ha!

 

WIND

No, we’re not! Sun fought you!

 

SUN shrinks down.

 

RAIN

(mockingly)

Oh, are you gonna “shine your way through me?”

 

LIGHTNING

Hey!

(stepping in front of SUN)

Stop that!

 

SUN

(shivering)

Don’t worry.

(trembling)

I’m fine.

 

RAIN

OOOooooo! Sun’s feeling strong again! Come and fight me!

 

SUN

I would… but…

 

LIGHTNING

But you hurt him!

 

SUN

Hey! I feel as good as ever!

(mumbling)

I’ll get you when I have the chance!

 

WIND

This is getting us nowhere!

 

RAIN

Yea! Where’s the real fight?

 

WIND

I think we’re waiting for those to chatterboxes!

(pointing to SUN and LIGHTNING)

 

SUN

Hey! I can be quiet!

 

RAIN

(snapping)

Then do it, you dum dum!

 

LIGHTNING

(frowning)
Well shouldn’t we have sides?

Everyone has blank expressions on their faces.

 

Sides! You know, teams!

 

Everyone says, “Ohhh.”

 

WIND

But are we not already on teams? Were we not just planning on attacking Rain?

 

LIGHTNING

I think I’m doing this if anyone has mind changes.

 

SUN

Like you?

 

LIGHTNING

NO! I’m on your side now, okay!

 

RAIN

I can defeat all of you!

 

SUN

(mockingly)

What, with your storm? Where’s your Wind and Lightning!

 

LIGHTNING

You’re angering her!

 

SUN

(whispering to LIGHTNING)

I know. It’s all a trap, though!

 

WIND

(fighting SUN)

WHOOSH!

 

RAIN falls on her back.

 

Lightning! NOW!

 

Nodding, LIGHTNING strikes RAIN hard.

 

RAIN

AAAWWWWW!!!

 

LIGHTNING

Oh no, did I kill her!

 

LIGHTNING Looks at RAIN lying on floor. RAIN flings her body at LIGHTNING, and he pushes her away.

 

SUN

Hey!

(pausing)

I really was looking forward to Rain’s death!

 

WIND

Watch out!

 

RAIN jumps on SUN.

 

SUN

Ouch!

 

RAIN

That’s right!

 

RAIN storms closer to SUN’s flames.

 

Feel the pain I felt once!

 

LIGHTNING

(just getting back up)

What do you mean, “feel the pain I felt once?”

 

RAIN

Don’t you know?

 

Everyone shakes their head.

 

Well… an old friend of mine turned against me once… and we fought hard… but I lost… and it was so painful. So now, I will show my anger by my storms that will destroy Earth and take over!

 

RAIN extends her storm.

 

 

Scene 6

 

WIND

But you won’t be ruling over anything!

 

LIGHTNING

And why show your anger like this?

 

SUN

Yea, make up with your friend!

 

RAIN

I can’t. He sent me away and said he would only forgive me if I did this!

 

SUN

Your friend is CRAZY!

 

WIND

Well, your friend would be dead by the time you would be done with your work. Did you tell him that?

 

RAIN

Well…

 

WIND

Now, we will take you to your friend, and you can explain it, right?

 

RAIN

I guess…

 

SUN

(pushing RAIN)

Come on, let’s go!

 

Thirty minutes later.

 

WIND

We’re here!

 

LIGHTNING

WOW!

 

SUN:

(nudging RAIN)

Your friend’s got quite a place here!

 

RAIN

I know.

 

The walls were shining, and the floors sparkled, and RAIN’s friend was treated like a king.

 

WIND

Excuse me, sir, my friend would like to speak with you.

 

KING

(his voice is booming)

Who comes to my feet?

 

RAIN

Hello, my name is Rain.

 

KING

Rain!? Ha! You have returned, but you are NOT the ruler of the world, so bye!

 

RAIN

But, I must say something. If I took over the world with a storm, you would be dead! So I wouldn’t get my end of the bargain! Hmm?

 

KING

(bewildered)

Well… Umm… Guards!

 

SUN

Hey! What’d we do?

 

KING disappears.

 

LIGHTNING

(whispers to RAIN)

Does he always do that?

 

RAIN

(shrugging)

I suppose.

 

WIND

There are too many guards! What do we do?

 

SUN

We run, Dummy!

 

WIND

(looking at RAIN)

Where is King?

 

RAIN

I don’t know! He Just disappeared! Right there, then out of sight! Poof! Gone! I DON’T KNOW, OKAY!

 

SUN

Geez, she just wanted to know.

 

LIGHTNING

Guys, let’s just find King, alright!

 

KING whizzes past them.

 

RAIN

He’s there!

 

SUN

(flinging her head to RAIN)

Where!?

 

RAIN

You just missed him, he was right-

 

WIND

There!

 

LIGHTNING

I’ve got him cornered!

 

SUN

(pushing through)

Really? Where?

 

WIND

Okay, what are you hiding?

 

KING

Look, Rain, I’m sorry for what I did. I was just mocking you about it. I knew I would be dead. Please, forgive me.

 

RAIN

Of course I’ll forgive you.

 

Sun, Wind, Rain, Lightning, and King lived together. Happily together.

 

Silent Dance

   

Characters:

SHYLA, 13

JOYCE, 10

ROSA, 9

 

Setting: Dance studio

SHYLA points for JOYCE to go left and ROSA to go right.

JOYCE and ROSA do so.

SHYLA steps back, shakes her head, and walks over to ROSA.

ROSA looks scared.

SHYLA puts her hands on ROSA’s shoulders and walks her over to JOYCE.

SHYLA puts her hands on JOYCE’s shoulders and walks her over to where ROSA used to be standing.

SHYLA steps back and nods.

JOYCE and ROSA open their mouths, about to break into song.

SHYLA stomps her foot and forms a T with both hands, the Time Out sign.

JOYCE and ROSA close their mouths, looking scared.

SHYLA walks over to the wall to a calendar that has all of the days crossed out until Saturday, May 13.

SHYLA points at a circled date, May 27, that has “8-10-year-old Fairstein Dance Company performance” written on it.

SHYLA measures with her fingers the distance between May 13 and May 27 and looks angrily at JOYCE and ROSA.

JOYCE and ROSA, who have been watching her, nod.

SHYLA motions her hands for JOYCE and ROSA to begin dancing.

JOYCE and ROSA run towards each other and try to leap but fall into a pile on the floor.

SHYLA rolls her eyes and stomps offstage.

 

The End

The Room Escape and the Employment

 

Scene 1

A storage room/classroom. It is not neat. There is a pile of random items in the corner. The pile includes wood. ALAN is wearing red, JOHN is wearing blue, and BOB is wearing white. They’re standing in the room.

ALAN

It is no use! We’re locked in here. We might as well light a fire.

JOHN

That’s it! We can weld through the knob! We have five matches. Let’s make each one count.

ALAN gets on the ground with BOB. JOHN is looking through the pile.

ALAN

Get on the ground, Bob! We need to try to make a fire to help weld through the knob!

BOB and ALAN get on the ground.

ALAN

As soon as I light the match, start blowing on it to get the fire going.

ALAN lights the match. BOB blows out the match as soon as ALAN lights it.

ALAN

Go help someone else, Bob.

(Lights.)

We see time pass. We see JOHN and ALAN lift up BOB and use him as a battling ram to break down the door. It doesn’t work.

 

Scene 2

Fifteen to twenty minutes later.

JOHN puts hand on head. Everybody sits on the ground and focuses hard.

BOB

Maybe we could get a sign that says we’re stuck in here.

ALAN

That seems like a great idea, Bob! Wait a minute, we can’t go to the roof and get a sign that says we’re stuck in here. Bring the firewood here, Bob.

BOB drops wood on ALAN’S foot. ALAN looks angrily at BOB. ALAN hits BOB with his hat. ALAN lights a fire. JOHN turns around.

JOHN

We’re in luck! I found hangers we can use to weld our way out of here.

JOHN puts hangers on the ground.

JOHN

Bob, come here.

BOB stomps over hangers and comes to JOHN.

JOHN puts hand on head.

 

Scene 3

JOHN

Maybe we can use a table or chair leg to weld the lock on the door.

ALAN

Let’s get started.

BOB

What can I do?

ALAN

Sit down and be quiet.

BOB

Then what can I do?

ALAN

Sit down and be quiet.

BOB

But I want to do something!

ALAN

That’s what you’re doing! Sitting down and being quiet!

BOB

Are we having bad luck?

ALAN

Of course not.

Three bowling balls crash to the floor. Fire goes out. Thunder roars.

BOB

When will we have bad luck?

ALAN

I’d say about five hours ago when the two of us AND YOU got us locked in here.

JOHN relights the fire.

 

Scene 4

Forty-five minutes later. A lot of the firewood is burnt out. BOB puts a lot more wood on the fire. BOB takes a metal chair from the corner of the room.

BOB

We’re never going to get out. Let me just sit in this metal chair.

JOHN

YOU DID IT, BOB!

BOB

Did what?

ALAN

Found a metal chair. Let’s get it ready right away.

BOB and ALAN bring the chair to the fire.

JOHN

It’s no use! We won’t be able to use the chair to weld through the door.

BOB

We might never get out. We might starve to death or die of old age in here.

The fire goes out.

ALAN

We’re out of firewood!

ALAN

Bob, you got us into this mess.

BOB

John, you agreed with this. How could you let this happen?

JOHN

Alan, you drove us here! You should know that a lot of people get locked in here yearly.

ALAN

John, you got us into this mess!

JOHN

Bob, you agreed with this, how could you let this happen?

BOB chucks a chair at JOHN. It hits ALAN by mistake. ALAN looks at BOB, and BOB bangs the chair on his own head.

 

Scene 5

We see JOHN and ALAN arguing in silence. BOB sits in the corner, playing chess with a mannequin.

BOB

Mannequin, you checkmated me for the twenty third time!

(Time passes.)

 

Scene 6

BOB

Look, the person who lived here must be really tiny.

ALAN

How do you know, Bob?

BOB

There’s this tiny door here.

ALAN

BOB, THAT’S A DOG DOOR. WE CAN GET OUT OF HERE!

JOHN

Hold your horses! We need someone that is so skinny that they can fit through the door.

Everyone except BOB looks at BOB.

BOB

I don’t want to go through.

ALAN

Then we will need to make you.

BOB runs around in circles.

BOB runs into ALAN.

BOB runs the other way.

BOB bumps into JOHN.

ALAN

Put your head into the doggy door. NOW!

BOB puts head into doggy door.

Dog barks.

BOB pulls head out of door.

BOB

I had a friend named Petey Parker, and he was twice your size, and he fit through the doggy door.

ALAN

Well, how did he do that?

BOB

He cheated. Maybe we can get a police officer to knock down the door.

ALAN

We can’t knock down the door, and there is no police officer to knock down the door either.

JOHN

Maybe we can ram through the doggy door with the metal chair.

ALAN

Where is the chair, Bob?

BOB starts to move back.

ALAN

You didn’t forget it, did you?

Alan moves towards Bob.

BOB

No.

ALAN

Are you sure?

BOB trips over chair.

BOB

Yes.

Chair breaks.

ALAN

THE CHAIR!

BOB

I can fix this.

ALAN

HOW, BOB? HOW?

BOB

Look there.

BOB points his finger at closet.

ALAN looks at closet.

BOB goes through doggy door.

ALAN

What is so interesting, Bob?

ALAN looks to where BOB was.

ALAN

JOHN, BOB IS GONE. HELP ME FIND HIM!

JOHN and ALAN look through the room.

BOB comes into room licking ice cream.

BOB taps ALAN’s shoulder.

ALAN

Help me look for you, Bob.

ALAN realizes BOB is in front of him.

ALAN

BOB! JOHN, COME HERE. WE FOUND BOB.

JOHN runs over.

JOHN

BOB, WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?

BOB

It’s easy! I went through the doggy door.

ALAN

Can you get a crowbar?

BOB

Ok.

BOB goes through doggy door.

ALAN

DON’T GET ICE CREAM. COME IN. NOW.

BOB crashes through the door.

BOB gives the crowbar to ALAN.

ALAN

Bob, use the crowbar to unhinge the door which you broke through. NEVER MIND THAT. WE’RE SAVED! WE’RE SAVED!

JOHN

We’re saved! We’re saved!

ALAN

We’re saved!

JOHN

We’re saved!

Everybody runs out of the room. BOB comes back into the room, takes the mannequin, and leaves.

END OF ACT 1

 

ACT 2

BOB, ALAN, and JOHN sit in a kitchen.

ALAN

We just got this job, and we do not want anybody messing up.

ALAN and JOHN look at BOB.

ALAN

Let’s get started. Bob, you make the drinks, John makes the dessert, and I will make the dinner.

BOB goes to the counter top. JOHN and ALAN go to the fridge. BOB opens a drawer and pulls out a bag of baking soda and pours it into five glasses. ALAN looks at the glasses that BOB filled.

ALAN

Bob, pour water in. That’s too powdery.

ALAN looks back into the fridge. BOB pulls a bottle labeled ‘vinegar’ and pours it in the glasses. The glasses foam up. Foam gets all over the floor. JOHN turns around and sees the foam on the floor. JOHN puts hand on head. ALAN turns around.

ALAN

CLEAN THIS UP.

BOB tries to sweep with the the broom upside down.

ALAN

YOU’RE SWEEPING WITH THE BROOM UPSIDE DOWN, BOB.

ALAN

Never mind that. Make the drinks.

ALAN pulls chicken out of the fridge. ALAN slips on the foam and falls on the floor.

BOB

Are you okay?

ALAN

I will be fine… after we finally get another job.

JOHN

JUST GET BACK TO WORK NOW.

Everybody gets back to work. JOHN starts working on drinks. JOHN pours jello mix into pitcher. JOHN pours wine into pitcher. JOHN pours gasoline into pitcher. JOHN turns around and accidentally drops match into pitcher. Radio turns on. Radio starts playing rock and roll. JOHN starts dancing with pitcher in his hand. Pitcher catches on fire. JOHN throws pitcher out the window. JOHN continues dancing. JOHN falls into the sink.

ALAN

ARE YOU TAKING A BATH?

JOHN

Yes.

ALAN and BOB stop what they’re doing and go into the sink. Everyone starts taking a bath.


Scene 2

JOHN is eating donuts.

JOHN

Mmm… these donuts are good.

BOB

Can I have some?

ALAN

They’re small, so you can have two.

ALAN takes two donuts from box and shoves them into BOB’S ears.

BOB

Oh great, you got donuts in my ears!

JOHN

Look. there’s a donut remover.

JOHN points to sign that says, ‘do not remove.’ BOB pulls out sign that says, ‘do not remove.’ Cabinets fall. Lights go out.

ALAN

You idiot, you…

(Lights match.)

 

Scene 3

Everyone is working. BOB accidentally bumps into radio. Radio breaks.

ALAN

LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE.

BOB slowly backs away and trips over brick. Head goes into wall.

ALAN

JOHN, STOP WAITING AROUND. GET HIM OUT OF THE WALL.

JOHN gets sledge hammer. JOHN makes holes in the walls. BOB gets out of wall. BOB lights match and gets back to work. BOB trips over brick and drops match into hole.

BOB

FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!

ALAN grabs hose and fires it into the hole. Fire goes out.

ALAN

THAT’S IT. I’VE HAD IT. I’M DONE.

ALAN stomps out of the room.

BOB

What happened?

JOHN

He left… let’s get back to work.

BOB gets back to work. BOB lifts up a bowl. BOB finds ALAN’S hat.

BOB

I miss Alan.

JOHN

C’mon, it’s not that bad.

BOB

Well, at least we still have donuts.

JOHN

Don’t forget the Do-Nut-Remover.

BOB

And electricity.

BOB turns around, knocking down the donut box and the do not remove sign. Electricity goes out.

JOHN

I can fix this. I only need to get out of the window.

JOHN jumps out of the window.  Lights go back on.

JOHN

Help me get back in.

BOB

Okay.

BOB leans into the window. BOB falls out of the window.

BOB

AHHHHHHH.

ALAN comes back inside the room.

ALAN

I’m sorry, fellas.

ALAN looks through the window, seeing BOB out of the room.

ALAN

I will help you, Bob.

 

Scene 4

Thirty minutes pass. Everyone is sitting on the floor.

ALAN

A few minutes after I left, I realized that I was nothing without you. I realized I had to open up to you.

JOHN

We need a new job.

BOB

We could be playing around with ships and planes.

JOHN

That’s it! We could join the army.

ALAN

That’s an excellent idea.

BOB

Right face!

(Everyone turns right.)

BOB

Forward march!

(Everyone marches out of the room)

 

The End

 

Kyla, Lena, and Debby: The Fight to a New School

 

Scene 1

Once there were two girls. They were new to a school and their names were KYLA and LENA and KYLA’S twin. Her name was DEBBY, and they were at recess.

KYLA

Hi.

LENA

Hi.

KYLA

Are you new?

LENA

Yes.

KYLA

Good because I am new too.

LENA

Okay.

KYLA

How are you doing?

LENA

Good.

KYLA

Can I have a look at your classes?

LENA

Yes.

KYLA

Yaay, you have a lot of classes with me, and you don’t talk a lot. Why is that?

LENA

Because I am shy.

KYLA

I am not that shy. Also I am never shy.

LENA

I am shy all the time.

KYLA

Now that I have gotten you to talk for more than two words, let’s find the lunch room.

LENA

Recess is so long, and I am really hungry.

KYLA

I found the lunch room.

LENA

Okay, let’s go in.

KYLA

I got you a tray.

LENA

Thanks. So do we have to get all the food?

KYLA

Yes, that is what I heard.

LENA

Oh, that is weird. I think I like my old school better, and it was closer to my home on 125th Street.

KYLA

I think that you will like this school better soon.

LENA

But I thought that you were new.   

KYLA

I am. I came two days ago.

LENA

That’s why. I came on a Wednesday.

KYLA
Yes, that is why. Now let us find a table to eat at.

LENA

Okay, let’s go.

KYLA

I found a table, let’s sit down.

LENA
Do you have any sisters or brothers in the school?

KYLA

Yes. I have a sister, and she was at this school last year, and she is so popular at the school. People always say, “Hi, Debby’s little sister” but we are twins, so I just say hi back because I don’t want to be mean.

LENA

I know how you feel because I have a little brother, and he is always so mean to me, and I get so mad. I just want to scream at him.

KYLA

Oh no, don’t look. It’s my popular not-sister.

LENA
I want to look so bad though.

KYLA

Okay fine. You can look at her, but don’t look in her eyes, or she will come to talk to me and make fun of me and then make me cry.

LENA

It’s okay. I looked. She is pretty, but you are prettier to me.

KYLA

Thank you so much. No one has ever said that to me. It is the end of the day, do you want to have a sleep over?

LENA

Okay.

KYLA

Good. Let me ask my mom.

LENA
Okay.

KYLA

She said yes. Okay, go pack and meet me at my house.

LENA

Okay.

 

Scene 2

Later on that day, LENA is calling KYLA.

(Ring ring)

KYLA

Hello?

LENA

Yes, I am a block away.

KYLA

Okay.

(Ding dong)

KYLA

Mom, that is my friend Lena.  

NDEYE

Okay, let her in.

LENA

Hi! Oh my! Your home is so nice. Can I say something?

KYLA

Yes, but wait. Let’s go to my room. Then we can talk there.

LENA

Okay.

KYLA

Okay, this is my room. Sorry it is a little messy, but I don’t think it will bother us. I can clean it if you want.

LENA

No, I am good. And what I had to ask was, is your sister here?

KYLA

Yes, but I told her not to bother us or I am going to tell on her, and then she said that she would not bother us, so we are good.

LENA

Okay, so what are we going to do tonight?

KYLA

I don’t I know. I was waiting for you so we could choose together.

LENA

I think that we should have a party, then make food or get some pizza, then do a game. Or we can do what you want.

KYLA

I think that is a good idea, but at the end, do you want to sleep in my bed or on the floor?

LENA

I think that we can both sleep on the floor.

KYLA

I think that is a good idea. So if we can’t sleep, we can talk about things.  

NDEYE

How are you doing, Lena? Sorry that Kyla did not say anything about me. Hi, I am her mom. Have a nice time, and if you want to watch a movie, I can make the popcorn if you want.

KYLA

Mom, can you go, please?

NDEYE

Okay.

KYLA

Thank you. Bye.

LENA

I think that your mom is really, really nice. You have a cool mom. How come you don’t want her to stay? She is so cool.

KYLA

If you had to live with her, you wouldn’t be saying this. Trust me, Lena.

LENA

I think that the party should start now.

(Ding dong)

LENA

Is that your house doorbell?

KYLA

No, that is my room door, and it better not be my sister.

DEBBY

Hi sister. Can I say hi to your friend?

KYLA

If she wants to. And why do you want to meet my friend? I thought you said that you hate all my friends.

DEBBY

Can you just ask her if she wants to meet me?

KYLA

Okay. Lena, do you want to meet my sister?

LENA

Okay. Do I have to come or is she coming in?

KYLA

You can come. I don’t want my sister putting her feet in my room.

LENA

Hi, Debby. I like your clothes a lot.

KYLA

Don’t say a thing to her. You can just say hi to her because she is leaving now.

DEBBY

Don’t follow her, thank you.

LENA

Hi and bye. I mean hi.

KYLA

Let’s go, Lena. Let’s go order some pizza.

LENA

Okay.

Then they slam the door on DEBBY.

 

Scene 3

Later on that night.

LENA

Mmm, this pizza is so good. I need to stop buying from the store by my house and buy from here. It is not that much money at all, and I am sorry that we had to give some to your sister.

KYLA

It is okay. We still have a lot pizza left, and we can save some for your mom. And if my mom wants some, we can save her some. I know that we are done eating and so full. We can watch “Home.”

Close to the end of the movie.

LENA

Oh my gosh, this part makes me cry all the time.

KYLA

I am so sorry, I did not know. Do you want me to get a different movie?

The movie plays song when it it is done.

KYLA

Oh, the movie is done, never mind.

KYLA and LENA laugh for a long time.

KYLA

Do you want to have a dance party now? My mom and my sister went to a party for a long time.

LENA

Okay. Can we listen to “Cold Water,” please? That is the best song to me.

KYLA

YES! I LOVE THAT SONG SO MUCH! THEN WE CAN WATCH CLOSE!

LENA

We have the same mind now. PUT ON THE SONG NOW! Sorry.

KYLA

It is okay, that is how I feel sometimes. Okay, what song do you want on first?

LENA

I want Cold Water 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times because I love that song so much.

KYLA

Okay, how about 20 times?

LENA

That is okay. BUT CAN YOU PUT IN IT ON NOW!!! Sorry, Kyla, I will stop doing that now.

LENA puts her head down.

KYLA

It is okay, but just tell me and please, just say, can you put it on now?

LENA

I am so sorry. I can go if you want me to go. I’ll go.

LENA makes a sad face.

KYLA

I am sorry. We are supposed to have fun tonight.

LENA

It is okay. I can go, if you want.

KYLA
No, I am sorry. Do you want to go to sleep now?

LENA

Good. I am getting a little sleepy now.

KYLA
Okay, let’s go to sleep now. I’m getting a little sleepy.

KYLA

Lena, can you stop snoring? I can not go to sleep.

LENA

It’s not me. Your sister is here.

DEBBY

Hi sister, how are you doing?

KYLA

I’m going to tell Mom on you.

DEBBY

I told Mom I should come and see if you are okay.

LENA

I think that your sister should stay here so she is not lonely.

KYLA

No, she has her room. She should not be here now. You are going to leave in the middle of the day, then she can talk to you because I am going to sleep. But I don’t know about you though.

LENA

I am going to sleep too. I am really sleepy today.

DEBBY

Okay so you go, Lena and not stupid Kyla.

LENA

Bye. Kyla is not stupid, you are. Don’t be mean to your sister because she is really, really nice and smart, but you are not. Now get out of here. NOW!

DEBBY

Okay, do not be so mean to me. You are the stupid one, and how can you be friends with Kyla? She is so mean and weird.

LENA

Then she is my weird Kyla, and you’re the stupid Debby.

KYLA

And you need to go or Lena and I are going to tell Mom on you. And you are going to get in big, big, BIG trouble, and you know it too.

DEBBY

Fine, I’m leaving. Have a nice time at your baby sleepover, babies.

Then DEBBY leaves and they all go back to sleep.

 

Scene 4

It’s the next day, and LENA is going home.

KYLA

Bye, Lena. Have a nice time. I have to be stuck with Debby, and you get to go.

LENA

Bye. I am going to miss you so much. Have a nice time.

KYLA

I hope so.

LENA leaves, and KYLA is so sad and mad at her sister.

 

Scene 5

LENA

Mom, I’m home.

MAREMA

Okay, I made lunch if you are hungry, sweetie. There is mac and cheese.

LENA

Okay, but can I go to bed for a little?

MAREMA

Okay, but then give your food to your brother.

LENA

Okay, Mom. Good night.

LENA writes a note and then goes straight to bed.

 

Scene 6

Then it was the next day of school, and DEBBY and LENA were still mad at each other, and they never looked at each other or talked when they were in the same room.

KYLA

You must be really mad at my sister, madder than me, because your face is so red when you are in the same room.

LENA

I know. I am so mad. Why does your sister have to be so mean and stupid?

Then it was the end of a very mad and tiring day. LENA and KYLA’S moms call, and they meet up at Lena’s house. They are having tea and cookies and cake that MAREMA made because she works at a bakery.

MAREMA

Ndeye and I were thinking that you and Kyla are not getting along that well with Dasia, and we thought that you girls should change schools because it is for the best. If you want to you can.

KYLA and LENA are thinking.

KYLA

What school are you bringing us to? Did we get in, and are we going to the same school?

MAREMA

Yes, you will go to the same school. That school will be the school at Columbia High School where Ndeye and I went to when we were kids.

NDEYE

It was the best school. That’s the place Marema and I became friends, and then we made a promise that if we both got married, our kids will be friends, and that’s what happened. But we can butt out Debby for this, okay?

Then the next day, they went for an interview, and they both got in together. Then NDEYE and MAREMA got the best idea. KYLA and LENA were best friends, so they moved into Lena’s house because it was bigger. Then they talked with KYLA and LENA.

KYLA and LENA

Yaaaay!!!

LENA

What about Debby, Ms. Ndeye?

NDEYE

She is going to live with her grandparents because they live right next to us.

A few years later when KYLA and LENA are in college, it is their commencement. Their moms are crying so much. Then, after the commencement is done, they take so many photos that they get really sleepy. When they get to Lena’s house, they fell asleep so fast it was like lighting. Then it was the next morning. MAREMA and NDEYE were looking with KYLA and LENA for a new home, and then they found it. It was the best home they ever saw in their entire lives.

LENA

It’s so pretty.

KYLA

I know right. I love it so much.

They they look inside the home, and they LOVE it.

KYLA and LENA

Let’s live like roommates.

And they both started to giggle a little, and then they both got the house. They put all these things and it looked so good and so, so nice.

LENA

The house looks so good.

KYLA

I know right.

 

Scene 7

A lot of years later, KYLA and LENA are married. They have their own homes. KYLA has two kids and LENA has two kids too.

KYLA

Your kids, Rebecca and Jamme, are so cute, Lena.

LENA

Grace and Ben are so cute too, Kyla.

Then, grandmas NDEYE and MAREMA came and they brought gifts for the sweet kids. They all said, “yaaaaaaaaaaaayaaaaaaaaaaaay.”

The kids were really happy to see NDEYE and MAREMA because they only see them on Mondays and Sundays because Mondays and Sundays their moms and dads are so busy. When they got there, it was 10:00 PM, and they were sleeping because their moms and dads were going to a nice place. It was to a dinner party, and they did not know the kids were still sleeping in their moms’ car. And that was the car they were going to use to go to the dinner party. Then the kids woke up, and they were looking all over the place. Then they got out of the car and went to a restaurant. They looked and looked and, at the ninth restaurant, they went in and they looked. They found their mom and dad and the kids told their parents what happened, and they called their grandparents and told them to come.

Forty minutes later, they came, and they all got food. Also, they had a family party. They went home and went to bed so happy.

 

THE END                             

 

T-Shirt Trouble

 

Characters:

PURPLE, purple shirt, 9 years old

SNAKES, snakes shirt, 10 years old

STAR WARS, star wars shirt, 11 years old

Actors should wear oversized t-shirts.

SETTING: behind a dresser in a bedroom

Scene 1

PURPLE is behind the dresser.

PURPLE

Yo, Snakes!

Snakes enters.

SNAKES

(clearly sad)

What?

PURPLE

(not noticing)

Boss wore me again! He loves me!

STAR WARS enters.

STAR WARS

For the 1,000,000th time and counting.

PURPLE

(looks hurt)

What do you mean?

SNAKES/STAR WARS

Don’t play dumb with me!

SNAKES

Jinx!

PURPLE runs towards STAR WARS.

STAR WARS gets out of the way.

STAR WARS

Whoa, easy now.

But PURPLE is on a roll.

He charges.

SNAKES

(dodging him)

Ahhhhh!

But PURPLE keeps running, and runs off…

SNAKES suddenly turns around

STAR WARS

You know, he used to wear me.

SNAKES

Oh no! Winter break is starting soon!

STAR WARS and SNAKES

(singing)

Oh yess, coming soon is winter breeak

Boss and Purple will be skating on a frozen lake

Oh no. We won’t go. So sad.

I’m mad. Not glad.

STAR WARS and SNAKES look at their watches and then look up.

SNAKES

It’s in two minutes and 45 seconds!

PURPLE runs on.

PURPLE

Ahh, back from winter break.

SNAKES

We got left here. Boss brought only you. I’m just a hand-me-down. Boss’s cousin used to wear me everywhere! I want a chance to be worn again.

STAR WARS

He used to go swimming with me, I’d get all wet and then I’d get to go on the great big amusement park ride… known as the… WASHING MACHINE!

You’d think Boss would have chosen MULTIPLE CLOTHING CHOICES!

PURPLE

He did! He brought Mr. Socks and the Jeans!

STAR WARS

I mean multiple shirt choices.

PURPLE

(face falls)

Ohhh!

STAR WARS

In yo face!

PURPLE

I don’t even have a face.

PURPLE exits.

SNAKES

We have to do ssssomething about Purple.

STAR WARS

Boss got this new Dash Robot.

They whisper-form a plan.

SNAKES

Dassssh is sssso heavy, he’ll get sssstuck under him!

SNAKES and STAR WARS run and hide in the corner.

PURPLE dances back on while singing.

PURPLE

(singing)

Oh, Boss always wears me. Oh, life is so fine.

Oh, I’m his favorite everytime.

Oh, yeah! It’s an honor. Life is so good.

I’m not a jacket, so I don’t have a hood.

PURPLE

I’m back…

SNAKES leaps out of the corner holding Dash. Dash is a little toy robot.

PURPLE

What the?

SNAKES covers PURPLE with Dash.

STAR WARS comes in and they run off stage.

PURPLE

Help!

Scene 5

SNAKES get shoved back into the room.

SNAKES

No!

STAR WARS

Boss is wearing me!

PURPLE

Help!

SNAKES

No!

STAR WARS runs off.

SNAKES follows.

PURPLE

Grow me hands, self.

PURPLE grows hands.

PURPLE pushes Dash the Robot off and runs off stage.

Scene 6

STAR WARS enters. SNAKES too. They seem to be discussing something.

STAR WARS

Boss wore Purple again. He can’t stop like Palpatine can’t stop the good guys from winning.

Carmina Burana plays.

PURPLE enters.

PURPLE

Actually I’m tired of doing it, but it’s an honor.

STAR WARS/SNAKES

Please stop. Please stop. Please stop.

STAR WARS

Wear me!

SNAKES

A sssschedule.

SNAKES sings “To be Worn”

SNAKES

Oh, I wish that I, me, finally,

Would be worn! Yes I know!

Purple is better but so am I!

I want to be worn in every weather.

To be worn. It would be an honor.

Yesss it would, oh it would.

STAR WARS

No, yes, a schedule. Amazing.

To be worn! yeah!!!

PURPLE

Okay.

Scene 7

STAR WARS

So, yeah, we got a schedule.

PURPLE

And Boss likes us equally.

SNAKES

So that’s it. The end!

Voice from behind the scenes:

ORANGE

Hi, I’m the new orange shirt. Boss loves me.

All groan

 

End of Play

 

Toilets

LAFAYETTE pulls into the parking center in a dirty, floppy car.

He walks into a store, rings the bell on the door.

 

LAFAYETTE

Hi, I’m applying for a job here at Dingle Burger.

 

MULIGAN

Young man, come here. We need you for a job, plus you’re handsome with a muscular body. I follow you on Instagram!

 

LAFAYETTE

I’m glad, you stalker?

(goes into back)

 

MULIGAN

Okay. Come here.

 

LAFAYETTE

Okay.

 

MULIGAN

We need help with the toilets. They are nasty. There are code browns.

(walks to door)

 

LAFAYETTE

POOOOOP! Oh, I’m leaving.

(follows MULIGAN to door)

 

MULIGAN

We need you.

 

LAFAYETTE

NO.

 

MULIGAN

How about I add 20 bucks to your paycheck?

 

LAFAYETTE turns towards MULIGAN with a cheeky smile.

 

LAFAYETTE

Seriously?

 

MULIGAN whispers to himself.

 

MULIGAN

That fool. I pick-pocketed that money right from his pocket. I learned that from France.

 

LAFAYETTE

What’s the pay?

 

MULIGAN

Twenty-one dollars of mulah.

 

LAFAYETTE

Kay.

(walks to toilet)

 

MULIGAN

Shall we get started? Put this mask on.

 

LAFAYETTE

Kay.

(puts on mask)

 

MULIGAN

Get in.

 

LAFAYETTE walks into restroom.

 

LAFAYETTE
Anyone in here?

 

 

FRINDY

(sitting on the toilet)

Aaah I’m reading here.

 

LAFAYETTE

Okay. What book?

 

FRINDY
How Toilets Work in Junk Stores.

 

LAFAYETTE

Cool? Well then, please get out.

 

FRINDY

(still sitting on toilet)

I’m using the restroom.

 

LAFAYETTE

I thought you were reading.

 

FRINDY

I’m doing both.

 

LAFAYETTE walks towards to stall with FRINDY in it.

 

LAFAYETTE

Are you finished soon?

(opens door)

 

FRINDY

Yeah.

 

LAFAYETTE walks in front of the door. FRINDY and LAFAYETTE’S eyes see each other.

 

LAFAYETTE

Oh, hey tiger.

 

FRINDY

Oh, hey you.

 

FRINDY and LAFAYETTE walk out of the bathroom together.

 

LAFAYETTE

Want to go out tonight?

 

FRINDY

Sure???

 

LAFAYETTE

Let me clean the code browns first.

 

FRINDY

‘Kay, sexy. Clean them good.

 

LAFAYETTE

I will, bae.

 

Alaskabama

            

FADE IN:

GRAND CENTRAL STATION – EVENING

People are clearing out at the end of the day.

Behind Great Clock. Three teens, KAYLA, ALEXANDER, and REX, are sitting on the floor talking. The boys share a room because there are only two rooms, and KAYLA, the girl, wants privacy. At night it is cold, big, and empty. The three love going to the Central Terminal and looking up at the beautiful ceiling.

CHILDHOOD HOME (Flashback)

The children’s FATHER is holding two baby boys and talking to KAYLA, who is a toddler.

FATHER

Your mom is dead.

REX

Daddy, I just went poopy.

FATHER

Ugh. (FATHER tries to change diaper, but fails and storms out of the room while REX starts crying. He gives them to the cities orphanage.)

ORPHANAGE STEPS

(FATHER leaves children on steps.)

INSIDE ORPHANAGE (Four Years Later)

ALEXANDER hides a jelly bomb and it explodes all over the teacher. After, all three of them were purposefully left on a field trip to the Grand Central Station.

HELPER

You guys wait here. We’ll be back to get you in a few minutes.

TWENTY MINUTES LATER

ALEXANDER

Where are they?

KAYLA

You dumbo, they left us!

KAYLA’S ROOM

KAYLA is changing in one of the rooms. This room is the smaller one, and also the one that has the great big clock. On the right side of what they call the bed there is the door. KAYLA has her back turned to it when she hears a sound of footsteps. She turns around just in time to see the boys walking in. This is what happens.

KAYLA

GET OUT OF MY ROOM YOU BOYS, I’M CHANGING!

REX

Sorry, we didn’t know.

KAYLA

Yes you did.

REX

No.

KAYLA

Yes.

REX

No.

KAYLA

Yes.

Meanwhile, ALEXANDER is hiding a jelly bomb in her closet, the same type he had set off in the orphanage. KAYLA smells it and storms into the closet but it still explodes all over her and the boys run out.

CUT TO: KAYLA, REX, and ALEXANDER sitting on the floor, thinking. After about 13min and 30sec. a newspaper flies in.

REX

What’s this?

KAYLA

It’s a newspaper.

ALEXANDER

Know your facts.

KAYLA

See? Even Alexander knows what it is, and he’s do ––

ALEXANDER

Don’t say it. I’m working on it.

KAYLA

No, you’re working on jelly bombs.

ALEXANDER

Whatever.

KAYLA

Anyway back to the newspaper, look at this. It says Alaska wants to be first in the United States alphabetical order, so it’s started a war with Alabama. It also says that the war won’t start for another month but they are still recruiting more soldiers and the families are missing their dads and husbands. But no other states are affected by this.

REX

Guys, this might be our chance to make peace, and if we do, we will be famous and get rich.

ALEXANDER

I’ll get a car and a cotton candy machine.

REX

Let’s buy a mansion.

(KAYLA ushers the boys into their room. In their room, the two boys lay on the floor with one blanket each. They talk thoughtfully.)

NARRATOR (V.O.)

That night the boys were thinking thoughtfully, as they rarely do.

ALEXANDER

Kayla didn’t look happy today.

REX

Well, we did do some mean stuff.

ALEXANDER

We always act like that.

REX

I guess she is getting tired of it.

ALEXANDER

Do you think if we listened to her, she would have good ideas?

REX

Maybe, but I was getting tired.

ALEXANDER

We should treat her better.

CUT TO: KAYLA’S ROOM. KAYLA lies in her room, thinking about the same reason as her brothers.

KAYLA

We used to have fun together, but now all we do is yell and have arguments. I wish Dad was here. He would help, but they don’t appreciate Dad just because they don’t remember him.

CUT TO: The next day. KAYLA, REX, and ALEXANDER sit in the boys room.

KAYLA

Where’d you guys get that cake we had for breakfast anyway?

FLASHBACK TO: That morning. ALEXANDER and REX grab a cake that was dropped by a little girl who started crying when her mom stated that she could not pick it up because it had fallen.

REX AND ALEXANDER

Nowhere.

KAYLA

Oh really?

REX

Okay fine, we saw the girl drop it and we picked it up.

KAYLA

At least it was good. Okay, let’s stop talking about cake, and start talking about the war.

ALEXANDER

You started talking about cake.

KAYLA

No one needs to know that. How are we going to stop the war?

ALEXANDER

We could go in groups.

KAYLA

Wow, you have been getting smarter.

REX

No, you haven’t.

ALEXANDER

Yes, I have.

REX

No.

ALEXANDER

Yes.

KAYLA

STOP ARGUING, that’s all we do. I don’t like it.

REX

You are right, we used to laugh and have fun. I was thinking about that last night.

KAYLA

Me too!

REX

I guess we are siblings.

KAYLA

You doubted that?

REX

Well, no.

(REX, KAYLA, and ALEXANDER all laugh like they used to.)

CUT TO: INSIDE OF KAYLA, REX, and ALEXANDER, where a small bubble pops.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Inside each of the kids, a bubble pops, the one that had been waiting for this moment.

CUT TO: KAYLA, ALEXANDER, and REX crawling through the vent to get to the CENTRAL TERMINAL to look for lunch.

ALEXANDER

We need to make this bigger. It was fine when we were little.

KAYLA

Exactly.

REX

Look, a train to Alabama leaves in 30 minutes and I have a good plan. Listen. Kayla could take that train and talk with the governor of Alabama ask him to change the name from Alabama to Alaskabama, meanwhile Alexander and I will be in Alaska doing the same, and maybe make a compromise.

KAYLA

Great, let’s get some food so I can get on the train.

ALEXANDER

Look, a man. His paper bag has ripped. Let’s see what’s dropping from it.

THE TRAIN

Narrator (V.O.)

After having had a not-so-delicious breakfast Kayla was sitting on the train, minding her own business.

CONDUCTOR

This stop is Savannah, Georgia.

On the train, a few people get on but one that doesn’t fit in it is a man, about seven feet tall, and looking mad, very mad. He is bald and has ginormous hands. KAYLA is sitting in one of the two seaters and he decides to sit right next to her. He breathes heavily and his breath doesn’t smell good.

CUT TO: KAYLA daydreams about moving or staying where she is.

CUT TO: KAYLA gets up and moves.

MAN

Why did you move away from me? I am now the boss here, so you must do as I say. Ahh, this feels so nice. I have always wanted to be the head of something and order people around.

KAYLA

Well I’m sorry, but I don’t think that has come true.

(The MAN is close to hitting her but she ducks just in time. The next stop is coming up.)

We can push him off the train, but you guys have to help me.

PEOPLE IN CROWD

Okay.

CONDUCTOR

This stop is Louisiana.

When the doors open, PEOPLE IN CROWD use all their might to push him out.

CUT TO: KAYLA in the GOVERNOR’S OFFICE.

GOVERNOR

Go, quick, I have a meeting in five minutes to talk about battle strategies for the war.

KAYLA

Only five minutes to change his mind, this will be fun.

GOVERNOR

What do you want?

KAYLA

I want to stop the war.

GOVERNOR

We didn’t start it.

KAYLA

I know that, but you could change your name to Alaskabama and they could too so you would both be first.

GOVERNOR

But we were supposed to be first in the first place.

KAYLA

And there was not supposed to be a war.

GOVERNOR

Fine. CANCEL THE MEETING. I WANT ANOTHER MEETING TO CHANGE THE NAME OF THIS STATE.

KAYLA

Wow, that was easy.

In the CENTRAL TERMINAL, ALEXANDER and REX are asking when the next time an Alaska train is leaving. It is crowded, about midday, and a MAN comes up. It is the same man who was on KAYLA’S train.

MAN

Move it.

ALEXANDER

No, we are staying right where we are.

MAN

Suites me, but I don’t think you will be standing.

REX

Whoa, them’s fighting words.

(The MAN starts to punch ALEXANDER but he catches the punch and pushes it away from them.)

REX

Wow, I didn’t know you could do that.

ALEXANDER

Neither did I.

CUT TO: REX and ALEXANDER at THE HARBOR

REX

Look, a sail boat. We could sneak onto that.

ALEXANDER

But on a big boat, it would be hard to catch us.

REX

Exactly. On the sailboat, no one will be there to catch.

ALEXANDER

Ohhh.

ON BOAT

REX

I will die if I don’t get food soon.

ALEXANDER

Same here.

ALASKA’S GOVERNOR’S HOUSE

We see REX and ALEXANDER eating at a dinner table.

REX

We want to stop the war!

GOVERNOR

I know, you’ve said that a million times.

ALEXANDER

Who gave you the idea of the war or did you just think of it?

GOVERNOR

Oh. A seven-foot-tall man who had ginormous hands and was bald told me I should do the war.

REX

That man loves violence, doesn’t he?

ALEXANDER

He sure does, but we need to find him!

REX

Last time we saw him, he was in the Grand Central Station. He couldn’t have gone far.

GOVERNOR

I can call Grand Central! They’ll give me the security camera footage.

ALEXANDER

Really???

REX

Yeah, he’s the governor!

GOVERNOR

(Meanwhile, the GOVERNOR is on the phone asking for the security cameras from the head of the station. On screen, we see the GOVERNOR on one side and TODD on the other.) (On telephone) Hello Todd! How is life running Grand Central Station?

TODD

Oh, great. Can I do you a favor?

GOVERNOR

Can you give me the security cameras from two days ago?

TODD

Anytime. I’ll send them right over.

(TODD and the GOVERNOR hang up.)

CUT TO: REX, ALEXANDER, and the GOVERNOR sitting around the television watching the footage.

REX

Oh look! There we are. And he’s coming over.

ALEXANDER

Watch my amazing fighting skills.

REX

Hey where is he going? It looks like to track four! What’s leaving from track four?

ALEXANDER

The train to go to Alaska. Oh no! He’s coming!

MAN

(Suddenly, the door creaks open and they hear the MAN walk in.) What are you kids doing?

REX

We’re stopping the war that you started.

ALEXANDER

(As the MAN and the boys talk, the GOVERNOR begins to slowly creep out of the room but ALEXANDER grabs him.) No! You agreed to this. You’re staying. (ALEXANDER turns his attention to the MAN.) Why do you like violence anyway?

MAN

That’s all my mother and my father did. I was given away to the orphanage because my parents couldn’t take care of me anymore.

ALEXANDER

But shouldn’t that make you against violence? We’re orphans too, and we’re definitely against violence because that’s how our mom died.

MAN

I guess I don’t know what I was thinking.

REX

Well, could you help us stop the war?

MAN

Sure! What could I do?

(Suddenly, the door opens again and KAYLA comes in.)   

KAYLA

We have to change this state’s name to Alaskabama!

GOVERNOR

But why?

KAYLA

Because Alabama’s doing it and that’s the only way you guys will be tied for first.

GOVERNOR

Okay, I’ll set up a meeting.

MAN

I want to do something to help!

GOVERNOR

Why don’t you come to the meeting?

KAYLA

What about us? Could we come?

GOVERNOR

The more, the better!

KAYLA

Alright! Where is it?

GOVERNOR

(GOVERNOR pulls over ALEXANDER to the side.) Who is that?

ALEXANDER

Oh! Our sister.

GOVERNOR

Do you guys have some place to go to, or do you want to stay here?

KAYLA

Oh, we’ll stay here.

CUT TO: AT THE MEETING

GOVERNOR

So the decision is decided! We are changing the state to  Alaskabama!  

CUT TO: BEHIND THE CLOCK
 ALEXANDER, REX, and KAYLA are back at home, hanging out.

KAYLA

What an adventure that was!

REX

I know! Some people do that every day.

ALEXANDER

I really don’t believe that.

KAYLA

Me neither.

REX

I know. Because it’s a lie.

(They all laugh.)

FADE OUT

THE END

Humans and Food, Finally Together

       

Act I

Scene I

CARLOS, a ten-year-old boy, and JAKE, a teenage banana, are in the kitchen. CARLOS is standing next to the counter that JAKE is sitting on. JAKE doesn’t realize CARLOS knows he’s alive and can hear him talk. Enter NARRATOR.

NARRATOR

If you didn’t know, humans and food have never gotten along. For years, food has struggled to get away from the humans, but never accomplished their goal. But this time, things may be different.   

Exit NARRATOR.

CARLOS (to the audience)

Every day, I see them struggle, but they don’t know I know they’re alive.

JAKE turns and whispers to a pie sitting beside him.

JAKE (annoyed)

Once again, one of us has been killed by another nasty human. We should leave this “nice” kitchen counter.

CARLOS is watching them talk.

CARLOS (talking to the audience in an inspirational voice)

Hi. I’m a ten-year-old boy, and you like food, right? Well, stop eating it. You’re just hurting families and killing them!

Enter JAKE’S MOM, a grown up banana. Her peel is half-opened, and there’s a bite taken out of her.

JAKE’S MOM

Good morning, sweetie, how are you — OOOH NOO… HELP MEEE!

JAKE (yells out)

MOM!

JAKE’S MOM

Don’t worry, sweetie. It was just one little nibble… I’ll remember you… take… care… of… the family…

She slowly closes her eyes and begins to feel weak.

JAKE’S MOM (to JAKE)

Stay safe.

She collapses and dies. JAKE begins to cry.

JAKE (to CARLOS in a brave and powerful voice)

You people WILL pay.

CARLOS (to himself)

I know I should have done something.

CARLOS’ MOM enters the kitchen.

CARLOS’ MOM (to CARLOS)

Aren’t you hungry?

She looks at another banana beside JAKE, BRITTANY the banana. She decides to take a bite of her. JAKE jumps in front of BRITTANY to sacrifice himself.

CARLOS

Mom, don’t eat that! You’ll make him ANGRY!!

(in his head)

Wait… this could be my chance to prove that I have been right all these years!

(to CARLOS’ MOM)

See, Mom? I knew they were alive! I knew they had feelings!

BRITTANY pecks JAKE on the cheek.

BRITTANY (to JAKE)

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

THE FOOD GANG enters the stage like brave gangsters: JAKE the banana, the plums, the apples, the tomatoes, the pickles, and the lettuce bomb.

THE FOOD GANG (yelling at CARLOS’ MOM)

WE TOLD YOU ALL TO NEVER BOTHER US AGAIN, BUT YOU JUST DON’T LISTEN!!

CARLOS’ MOM sees the angry FOOD GANG and tries to act casual.

CARLOS’ MOM

Don’t worry, mi hijo. They can’t hurt us. By the way, how will we survive without food?

CARLOS

Um, uh… oh, I know! WATER! DRINK AS MUCH OF IT AS YOU CAN, OKAY?

CARLOS’ MOM

Are you crazy?

CARLOS (irritated voice)

Yes, but you are too, Mother…

Enter NARRATOR.

NARRATOR

Now, as you can see, Carlos and his mom have a little problem. Obviously. Carlos is insisting on only drinking water, since it is not alive. Obviously. But his mother is right that Carlos obviously needs to eat.

Exit NARRATOR.

CARLOS

And by the way, you don’t want to become a criminal, do you?

CARLOS’ MOM

Well, no, but…

CARLOS

NO BUT’S! Now, let’s start a campaign saying, “FOOD HAS FEELINGS JUST LIKE US, SO DON’T HURT THEM!!!”

CARLOS’ MOM

Okay, okay. I DID NOT sign up for making a campaign!

CARLOS

I’ll buy you The Woman’s Times Magazine, 5TH EDITION!!!

CARLOS’ MOM

OKAY, YOU’VE CONVINCED ME. I’M YOUR MOTHER, SO NOW GIVE IT TO ME!

Act I

Scene II

JAKE and THE FOOD GANG are in the kitchen, digging a hole through the wall to escape the house.

JAKE

Okay, almost ready! Ready to escape! Continue digging up that hole!!!

CARLOS enters and sees that the foods are trying to escape. JAKE sees CARLOS and makes an angry face.

JAKE (to THE FOOD GANG)

Get ready to attack!

THE FOOD GANG runs up to CARLOS, and they get out their weapons: a grape canon, celery swords, and lettuce bombs. At first, CARLOS doesn’t realize they’re planning on attacking him and just watches them curiously. Then, he finally gets the hint.

CARLOS

Oh, please don’t attack me! I’m on your side.

The vegetables don’t listen. One of the bombs hits his head, and he falls to the ground. CARLOS’ MOM walks in.

CARLOS’ MOM

Carlos!

(to THE FOOD GANG)

Why would you do that? Don’t you know that we’re on your side?

JAKE

Why should we believe you?

CARLOS’ MOM turns the TV on the counter on. On the news is CARLOS’ new campaign to save food.

CARLOS’ MOM

This campaign was Carlos’s idea. Carlos convinced me to also help you. He’s always been on your side.

THE FOOD GANG slowly drops their weapons and then starts running toward her and CARLOS. They begin to comfort CARLOS. CARLOS lifts his head weakly.

CARLOS

It was just a mistake.

JAKE (to CARLOS)

Sorry we misunderstood you.

BRITTANY puts her arm around JAKE.

BRITTANY

You’re such a kind banana-man.

Act I

Scene III

JAKE and BRITTANY are alone on the kitchen counter, talking. Other foods are peeking out of the cabinets and baskets, spying on them.  

JAKE

I want you to hear me out.

BRITTANY

Okay, continue…

JAKE

Ever since I met you, I’ve felt like we belong together. I feel like we come from the same peel.

THE FOOD GANG spying on them begins to quietly “Ooooohhhh” and “Aaaaah” from their hiding spots. BRITTANY starts blushing.

BRITTANY

Me too.

JAKE

So I would like to ask you… would you marry me?

FOOD GANG

Ooooohhhh! Aaaaaaaah!

BRITTANY

Yes. You’re the most handsome banana on the kitchen counter.

THE FOOD GANG jumps out of their hiding spots.

FOOD GANG: Congratulations!

CARLOS pops up from behind the counter.

CARLOS

I was watching, too! Congratulations!

JAKE and BRITTANY

Were you guys spying on us?  

Everyone awkwardly laughs.

THE FOOD GANG

Nooo…

LEMON puts a wedding veil on BRITTANY’S head. JAKE’S LITTLE BANANA BROTHER hands him a Banana Tux. Wedding music begins.

CARLOS

Hooray! My first food wedding accomplished!

Dream music comes on. All of the food falls lifeless on the counter.

CARLOS

Wait. What? It was a dream all along? But I really wanted to be their friend.

He hears tiny footsteps. It sounds like they’re coming from his refrigerator. He opens the refrigerator and gasps in surprise.

Carlos

It smells like rotten eggs!

Two eggs pop out.

EGG #1

I promise it wasn’t me!

CARLOS

I knew you were real! I love you guys!

BRITTANY and JAKE stand beside him.

CARLOS

Our friendship will never change.

THE END

Untitled

Act One

 

CARLY enters wearing a thick coat shivering like the cold has not left her yet. ADDISON is stage left on stage which is decorated as a school hallway with blue lockers lined on the wall.


CARLY
Addy! Science project after school!! The sugar solution,right?

ADDISON
Yep! My house.

 

Bell rings

ADDISON
Yikes! I gotta go to Latin. Peace!

CARLY
Bye!

Act Two


ADDISON is lounging on a bean bag chair with a bottle full of a transparent liquid in her hands. CARLY is on a black leather couch and both are staring at a table set up with bottles full of bubbling liquid.


CARLY
I’m going to get us some lemonade, kay?

ADDISON
All right. I’ll try to pour the liquid nitrogen in.


CARLY exits stage left, opposite of ADDISON, who takes a step forward and spills the bottle on top of her and a wand skids onto stage and lights up.


ADDISON
Yikes! Woah. So sleepy, I’ll just-


ADDISON faints onto the black couch and the curtains close.

                                                                                                                                 
Act Three


ADDISON wakes up in a tiny bed with seven faces staring at her. The stage is decorated with wooden shelves with a couple of jewels and seven tiny beds, one occupied with ADDISON.


ADDISON
Ahh!

DWARF#1
Who are you? Are you like the other girl who came?

ADDISON
Um, Addison. Who are you?

DWARF#2
We are the dwarfs of Sycamore woods. Hey, she might be like the other girl. What was her name? Rose Red?

DWARF#1
 Are you being chased by the Evil Queen? And it was Snow White ya dummy!

ADDISON
Excuse me?

DWARF#3
Yikes! You are! She always brainwashes whoever she’s after!

DWARF#4
You must promise never to open the door for anybody! We don’t want to lose another!

ADDISON
Ok.


The curtains close. The only different item is an apple on the bed. The dwarfs are armed with pickaxes.


DWARF#5
Good bye! Remember, don’t open the door!

ADDISON
Okay.

 


The dwarfs exit stage right.

 


ADDISON
Hmmm, I’m kinda hungry. I’ll just eat this apple.


ADDISON falls to the floor after biting the apple. The curtains close.

 

Act Four


Curtains open. The stage is set with a yellow brick  road and perfectly circle trees. ADDISON is dressed in a blue plaid dress and GLINDA is on stage right.

 


ADDISON
What happened?

GLINDA
I am Glinda the Good Witch. You just popped out of nowhere! Are you a witch too?

ADDISON
Witch? A few seconds ago I was with dwarfs! This is messed up. I need to get home.

GLINDA
Why, then you must meet the Wonderful Wizard of Oz!

ADDISON
Oz? Hmmm, where did I hear that before?

GLINDA
The wizard will answer all your questions. Now shoo! And follow the yellow brick road!

ADDISON
Okay, okay. Talk about split personality


ADDISON exits stage left. Glinda waves and “flies” away. The curtains close. The curtains open. The stage is set to appear normal, with TINMAN laying on the floor frozen with an oil can next to him. ADDISON is entering stage right.


TINMAN
Help! Help!

ADDISON
What do you need?

TINMAN
Please oil my joints! I’ve been stuck here for weeks!

ADDISON
Okay.

 

ADDISON picks up the oil can and pours the can behind his neck and sets it behind him. TINMAN
Is no longer frozen and dances around.


TINMAN
Hurrah! Hurrah! I’m free!

ADDISON
What’s your name?

TINMAN
Tinman’s the name! I was out trying to find the wizard,when-

ADDISON
The wizard! I’m off to see him too! Will you accompany me?

TINMAN
Of course dear. I’m off to ask him for a heart, for since I am made of tin,I have none.

ADDISON
I’m asking him for a trip home to Carly.


ADDISON’S face falls, then bravely smiles.


TINMAN
Then come along!

ADDISON and TINMAN exit skipping together stage left. The curtains close and the stage is set the exactly the same except for LION upstage left. The curtains open to ADDISON and TINMAN entering center stage left.


LION
(cowardly)Rawwr.

ADDISON
Oh, what’s your name?

LION
L-l-lion.

TINMAN
Hello L-l-lion.

LION
Can you take me to the wizard too? I overheard you talking. I want the wizard to give me courage.

ADDISON
Come on Lion! Let’s go!

LION
All right!


The group exits upstage right. The WITCH peeks out and cackles. The curtains close.The stage is set up as a garden scene with a few red poppies strayed around.


ADDISON
What lovely poppies!                                                                              

 


ADDISON and the group promptly collapses after smelling the poppies.
                                                                                

Act Five


ADDISON is alone in a rustic pink bedroom with a spinning wheel in front of her. She is center stage and scared.


ADDISON
Lion! Tinman! Dwarfs! Anyone!
The liquid nitrogen! Is it still on me? What is happening! Carly! I’m coming! Please someone take me home!

 


The same wand from Act Two skids onto the stage and lights up. ADDISON spins around and her elbow grazes the spinning wheel. She falls into a deep sleep.                                                                                   


Act Six


The stage is set as Act Two with ADDISON suddenly center stage and normally dressed with Carly by her side.

ADDISON
Carly! Oh I missed you so, so, so, so, SO much!

CARLY
Wait, what happened? I was in the kitchen getting lemonade, then, I’m here?

ADDISON
Um, yeah when did this happen? Ha ha ha ha ha.


CARLY
Anyway, let’s get to work! Liquid nitrogen?

ADDISON
Um, about that…

 

The End

 

The Fight

SCENE 1

The classroom

LILY

Hey Emily, I got you some Starbucks. Your favorite: vanilla latte.

(Hands it to EMILY)

EMILY

Good, I am so thirsty!

(Drinking the latte)

LILY

I heard that there is going to be a new girl today who came from another school.

EMILY

Which school?

LILY

I don’t know, I think it was on 81st street. But then they moved here on 25th street.

EMILY

Good, I need a new servant.

LILY

What?

EMILY

Shut up and come with me.

New girl walks in

LILY

Look, I think that is the new girl.

EMILY

Come with me.

Walks to new girl

ALICE

Hello, do you know where room 6 is?

EMILY

OMG, LIKE, I’M GOING TO THAT CLASS TOO.

Everyone looks at them

EMILY

Lily, go and get me another latte, and make it a large.

LILY

Okay.

They walk up to Room 6. They walk up to the teacher.

EMILY

Mrs. Peters, this is my new friend, Alice.

ALICE takes a seat. Class starts.

MRS. PETERS

Okay, kids, take your seat. I’m not getting any younger.

LILY walks in with a vanilla latte.

EMILY

(to Lily)  You’re the best.

Later on….

EMILY passes note to ALICE. EMILY raises her hand.

EMILY

Mrs. Peters, can I use the bathroom?

MRS. PETERS

You need somebody to go with you.

EMILY

I pick Alice.

ALICE and EMILY exit.

SCENE 2

In the bathroom

EMILY

So did you get my note?

ALICE

Yeah.

EMILY

So do you want to be my friend?

ALICE

Sure, I really do need a friend.

EMILY

If you are my friend, it requires getting me whatever I want, which really means getting me Starbucks, and if you do that then that means that you won’t get paid, and if you fail one of those tasks you will NEVER be my friend.

ALICE

Oh uhh, no thank you. Who would ever fall for something that stupid?

ALICE walked out of the bathroom, but EMILY still followed.

EMILY

What about only for one day? I do need the help.

ALICE ignored EMILY and walked back to the classroom.

EMILY

Look Alice, you can get paid if you get me my phone from my locker.

ALICE

How much?

EMILY

15 dollars. Oh, and my locker number is 4,15,6,18.

ALICE

Just come with me then.

EMILY

Do you want the 15 dollars or not?

ALICE

Fine. (Walks to locker)

SCENE 3

The lockers

ALICE

What was the code again? 5,12,3,14? No… Was it 7,86,0,76?

LILY sneaks up behind ALICE

LILY

Hey

ALICE jumps.

ALICE

You scared me.

LILY

Sorry, sometimes Emily can be so rude.

ALICE

I know, she passed me a note saying, “Do you want to come to the bathroom with me :)” And the next thing you know, I am in the bathroom talking about forming a club and doing stuff for her.

LILY

I had it worst. Emily forced me to join this stupid thing.

ALICE

Then why didn’t you stand up to her and tell her “no”?

LILY

I am just scared.

ALICE

Why are you scared? She is a human being, just like you.

LILY

I know that, but she can be scary most of the time.

ALICE

Just give me the code to her locker.

LILY opens up the locker.

ALICE

(Grabs phone out of the locker.) Thank you.

LILY

Wait, let’s just go and explore her locker.

ALICE grabs a piece of paper that fell out of her locker and LILY reads it out loud.

LILY

“The tough kids of the school and I are going to team up on Lily.”

ALICE

(Gasps) I can’t believe she’s going to do that to you.

LILY starts to cry.

ALICE

Don’t worry, we’re going to stand up to Emily.

ALICE puts the paper in her pocket. They go back to class.

ALICE

Here is your phone. (Plops the phone on the table.)

EMILY’s note falls out of ALICE’s pocket. EMILY picks it up and gasps. The bell rings and they walk out of the classroom.

EMILY

Why did you take that note from my locker?

LILY

We didn’t do that.

EMILY

Yes, you did. Why did I see it on the floor when you walked into the classroom?

ALICE

When I gave you your phone, the note was attached to your phone.

EMILY

That’s not true.

LILY

Yes it is.

ALICE

Where’s my 15 bucks?

EMILY

Here you go.

EMILY shoves 15 dollars into ALICE’s hand.

ALICE

Thank you.

SCENE 4

The cafeteria

ALICE turns to LILY.

ALICE

Do you want to sit with me at lunch?

LILY

Uh, okay.

EMILY

What? No! You have to get me another latte!

Everyone looks at EMILY.

LILY

No, I don’t have to do whatever you want.

ALICE, LILY, and EMILY go to the cafeteria.

LILY

Come over here, Alice. Let’s sit at this table.

ALICE

Okay.

EMILY

What about me?

LILY

No.

ALICE and LILY sit at the table.

ALICE

Maybe you took it too far, Lily.

LILY

No I didn’t. Emily’s being rude.

ALICE

I know I’m the new girl and all, but I’m not gonna be rude to somebody.

LILY

Come on, Alice.

ALICE

No.

ALICE walks and sits with EMILY.

ALICE

Sorry about that.

EMILY

It’s okay. I never had a friend turn on me.

ALICE

Well, maybe it’s because you’re getting on people’s nerves.

EMILY

Well, I am so used to being spoiled.

ALICE

Well, this is school, it’s not your home, so you have to be nice to people.

EMILY

I want to be a changed person.

ALICE

I know. Maybe tomorrow you can act a little nicer to people.

The next day

ALICE

Hey, Emily.

EMILY

LOOK I GOT MY OWN LATTE TODAY

ALICE

Hi-five!

ALICE gives EMILY a hi-five.

LILY

Hey, rude much?

ALICE

Lily, stop. You are being rude.

LILY

But Emily was being rude yesterday.

ALICE

Yeah, she WAS being rude.

LILY

Well, I can make my own friends.

ALICE

Then go and do it.

LILY walks away and bumps into MIA. They stare at each not knowing what to do LILY looks shocked.

LILY

What am I doing? Introduce her to the school.  

LILY

Hi.

MIA

Hi.

LILY

Are you new here?

MIA

Yes.

LILY

I can show you around.

ALICE

We did it!

EMILY

Yeah, we did.

ALICE and EMILY hold hands and bow.    

THE END

Emoji Sisters

SCENE 1

MOM, KACEY, ELLA, RUFUS are in the house.

KACEY

Is dinner ready, Mom? Maybe we could go to the backyard and do the tradition that Dad did with us? I haven’t done it since Dad died in the car crash.

Mom is cooking.

MOM

Dinner’s ready, in like, two minutes. Um, I don’t think you should do the tradition without your dad. It’s not really a tradition without your dad.

KACEY

Okay, fine. I just thought that we could go out to the backyard again, just to see the stars to remind me of Dad, and what he did with us.

RUFUS is barking.

MOM

Kacey, sweetie, can you please take Rufus out in the backyard? Also, I bet your father would like to keep the tradition with him.

KACEY

Okay, I get it, I get it. Fine, I’ll take Rufus out to the backyard.

Kacey goes out to the backyard.

ELLA

Mommy! I’m hungry!

KACEY

Um, Mom?? Rufus is running away!

RUFUS accidentally runs away. KACEY and ELLA go after him.

KACEY

Rufus! Come back!!

ELLA

Kacey! Wait for me!!

KACEY stops.

ELLA catches up to KACEY, breathless.

SCENE 2

RUFUS leads them to the woods,  and she finds a piece of paper that was in the mud, all dirty, and stuff.

KACEY

Rufus, why did you go into the woods?

KACEY sees the paper, picks it up, and read it outloud.

YOU MUST GO TO THE EMOJI WORLD AND BECOME EMOJI SISTERS AND SAVE THE EMOJI WORLD FROM THE EMOJI VILLAIN. 🙂 YOU HAVE ONE EMOJI YEAR. COME QUICK. WE NEED YOUR HELP! THERE IS A VIAL. DRINK A DROP AND ONE DROP ONLY.

KACEY then thought of her father. All of her adventures that she had with her father.

KACEY

Ella, we have to tell Mom. Ella? Ella? Ella! Where are you?

ELLA
Kacey, I’m right here. Next to Rufus. Behind you.

KACEY

Oh, thank goodness. Thank goodness. We have to tell Mom that we found a note. We have to ask her if we can go.

ELLA

Kacey, we found Rufus. Now let’s get home. I’m hungry.

KACEY

Okay, fine. But, we have to show this to Mom. We could have dinner once we show this to Mom.

ELLA

Fine. We can show this piece of paper to Mom, but can we go home now? Please?

Kacey and Ella go home with Rufus and the piece of paper.  

Mom was very surprised when she saw it.

MOM

Wow, girls. Um, this is very strange. I think this is a joke, or something. It can’t possibly be real.  

Mom looks at the piece of paper one more time.

MOM

Yeah, I think this is a joke.

KACEY

But Mom, do you want to see? Look look, there’s a vial with this potion that brings you to Emoji World. I just know it.  

ELLA

Mom, I’m tired, can I go to sleep?

MOM

Sure, sweetheart, go get some rest. Now, Kacey, I want to talk to you about this piece of paper. If you can handle it, I will let you go to this EMOJI WORLD thingie, only if you take REALLY good care of Ella, and keep an eye on her always, and make sure you come back alive. For real.

KACEY

Oh, Mom! Thank you so much! I promise, promise promise that we will come back alive, and I promise that I will take SUPER good care of Ella. Thanks, Mom!! I also think you should pack food, clothes, blankets, pillows, etc…

KACEY goes to her room.

KACEY

Oh, Dad (sighs) I really wish you could come and have at least one more adventure with me and Ella. (sighs)

THE NEXT DAY………

KACEY woke up early to help MOM pack their bags.

MOM

Kacey, I need you to get your sleeping bags from the closet. Also, do you want chicken or steak? One more thing, can you get your blankets, pillows, water bottle, clothes, and shoes please? Thank you.

KACEY

Sure, Mom.

KACEY gets the stuff that MOM asked her to get, and brings it to MOM.

KACEY

Here you go!

ELLA comes downstairs.

MOM

Good morning, Ella!! How are you today? This is going to be your last morning here for an EMOJI YEAR.

ELLA

What? We’re going to EMOJI WORLD? But you know that it’s not real.

KACEY

It’s real! And I’ll prove it to you once we get there.

LATER THAT DAY……………………

MOM

Bye girls!! Love you!!! Be safe!!!

KACEY AND ELLA

Bye, Mom! See you soon!!!!!!! Love you!

Ella starts crying.

MOM

Don’t worry, Ella, It will be really short. One EMOJI YEAR is like, two months. You’ll see me very soon.

ELLA

Ok (ELLA sniffles) Bye-bye, Mommy.

KACEY

Bye, Mom!! Ella, don’t worry, you’ll have me!

ELLA

Yeah, but you’re not like Mommy.

KACEY

It’s going to be alright. I’m going to take SUPER good care of you, and we’ll have lots of fun. Plus, we’re going to be saving the EMOJI WORLD, right?

ELLA

Yeah. (sighs) Love you Mom, I’ll miss you.

KACEY

Bye, Mom! I will try to text you!!

KACEY and ELLA leave for EMOJI WORLD.

MOM goes back into the house, while the sisters are transported to EMOJI WORLD.

SCENE 3

ELLA

Whoa, Kacey, look! You’re an Emoji!!

KACEY

Ella, you are, too!!

It was true; KACEY and ELLA had turned into Emojis.

KACEY

Okay, we have to find a hotel or something.

ELLA

Look!! Over there!

ELLA pointed to a castle.

KACEY

Let’s go there.

KACEY and ELLA finally arrive at the palace.

KACEY

Whoa, this palace is huge!!

EMOJI KING

Welcome! It looks like you got our letter that we sent to you. We are SO glad you could make it!! You have to start your mission right away!! We are in a REALLY big hurry, and we need your help to save to Emoji World.

KACEY

Why were we chosen?

EMOJI KING

Your dad said that he wanted you guys to have an adventure when he was gone.

KACEY

What? How did my dad know about this world?

EMOJI KING

Because he’s traveled here. He travels to different worlds a lot and he meets new people so that you can have more adventures.

KACEY

How come he didn’t tell me?

EMOJI KING

That doesn’t really matter right now. I’ll tell you later. We need you to go to the High Emoji Mountains, find the Emoji villain, and kill him with this vial.

EMOJI KING hands KACEY a blue vial and she takes it.

KACEY

But which way? We don’t have directions to get to High Emoji Mountains.

EMOJI QUEEN

We have a map for you of all of Emoji World. You have to go on your quest now, or else it’ll be too late. Now you must go. You won’t be able to defeat him if you don’t go now.

KACEY and ELLA leave for the Emoji Mountains.

SCENE 4

ELLA

Are we there yet? My feet hurt.

KACEY

No, and plus, you don’t have feet!

KACEY and ELLA arrive at the High Emoji Peak, three Emoji hours later.

KACEY

Why don’t we take a rest?

ELLA

Okay, that sounds good to me!

KACEY and ELLA stop on the bottom of the peaks. They fall asleep.

THE NEXT DAY…

KACEY

Ella, wake up! Wake up! We have to kill the Emoji villain!

ELLA

Kacey, I’m so tired, though.

KACEY

Ella, get up!!!

ELLA

Fine!!

ELLA and KACEY find the EMOJI VILLAIN.

EMOJI VILLAIN

What? Who are you? Why are you here? Whatever, it doesn’t matter. I already have my plan to destroy Emoji World! Mwahahahaha! Wait, why are you still here?

KACEY and ELLA stand still, staring at the EMOJI VILLAIN, blankly.

EMOJI VILLAIN

What? Not good enough? Ugh, Fine!

KACEY

We are very hungry. Can we eat with you please?

ELLA

Yeah, we are very hungry. Please?

ELLA did the puppy eyes that she did when she wanted another cookie from MOM.

EMOJI VILLAIN

Okay, fine. Come eat. (whispers to the audience) And then I will destroy them!!

KACEY

I really want to cook. Can I? Please?

EMOJI VILLAIN
Okay, fine, sure, make dinner, and I really like red wine. Thank you very much.

KACEY and ELLA made the food and the wine. KACEY poured the vial of poison into the wine.

EMOJI VILLAIN

Thank you very much, Kacey, and Ella, I’m guessing.

KACEY

I just have one question. Why exactly do you want to destroy Emoji World?

EMOJI VILLAIN

Because I want to be alone. Also, I want my helpers to build a HUGE castle and so I can be the new ruler of EMOJI WORLD, just do whatever I want, by myself and my helpers. So that’s my plan, so yeah! Can we get finished with dinner now?

KACEY

Yeah, sure. Just drink your wine first, so we can get on with the other stuff of the meal.

EMOJI VILLAIN drank the vial of potion/the wine and died. Emoji World was saved!!

KACEY and ELLA went back to Emoji Palace and the EMOJI KING greeted them.

EMOJI KING

Kacey, Ella, you did an amazing job! Now you may go home.

The EMOJI QUEEN hands KACEY and ELLA the vial to go home.

KACEY and ELLA go home.

MOM is waiting for them.

SCENE 5

MOM

Oh, thank goodness you are safe!! Now, let’s go get some lunch.

KACEY
Sounds good to me

ELLA

I’m tired. I’m going to take a nap.

MOM

Ok, sweetie. Goodnight.(smiles)

ELLA leaves to to go to bed.

KACEY

Mom, can I talk to you about something?

MOM

Yeah, sure. What do want to talk about?

KACEY

Did you ever know that Dad knew about the Emoji World?

MOM looks down.

MOM

Um………….. No, what? No.

MOM stammers.

KACEY

Mom, tell the truth.

MOM

Fine. Yes, I knew that Dad had been to Emoji World.

KACEY

Ugh, but then why didn’t you tell me?

MOM
Because it was supposed to be a surprise. He wanted to take you there for your twelfth birthday, Kacey. But he died three years ago, remember? And now, look. You turned 12, two years ago.

Long pause.

KACEY
Ooooohhhhhhhhh. That makes much more sense. I’m glad I got to go, anyways. I still miss him, and I really wish I could go on the adventure with him, though.

MOM

Yeah, me too.

KACEY and MOM hug at the end.

THE END

E.V.I.L. Chronicles: The Opponent

              

SCENE 1

Setting: Manhattan, Writopia Lab.

ALEX
Who’s ready for sock-ball?

Rumbling is heard.
EVERYONE
Let’s go see what’s happening!!!

SCENE 2

Setting: Manhattan, Central Park. There is a big crater where the museum used to be. Inside it is a CREEP IN WIZARD COSTUME. He walks out to the benches, where a crowd has been forming.
CREEP IN WIZARD COSTUME
Listen to me, you fools! I am George, the wizard! I am here to take over your pitiful kingdom! Mwahahaha!!!

KID
I think he’s from New Jersey.

GEORGE, THE WIZARD
Where is this “New Jersey?”

OTHER KID
Actually, he’s probably from Fire Island.

GEORGE, THE WIZARD
An island made out of fire! You intrigue me! Where is this burnt kingdom?

SOME OTHER KID
Wait, what?

GEORGE, THE WIZARD
Oh, well. I will explore it later. I must find your king and overthrow him! Power will be mine!!!

Police cars enter. Siren is heard. They march up to him.

COP
What’s going on here?

KID
Just some creep from New Jersey who exploded the museum.

OTHER KID
You’re stupid! It’s easy to see he’s from Fire Island.

GEORGE, THE WIZARD
Who are you? Paid mercenaries? I can take you down with my magic powers!!!

COP
(Laughs.) Okay then, you’re a jokester, eh? Then let me introduce you to my “magic” taser.
COP “tases” GEORGE.

SCENE 3

Setting: Manhattan, in a courtroom.
PROSECUTING ATTORNEY
So, Your Honor… This creep here has exploded one of our best museums, traumatized millions of kids going to a summer camp called “Writopia,” committed serious fashion crimes, and can not decide whether he is from New Jersey or Fire Island!

JUDGE
What does the accused have to say about it?

GEORGE
Excuse me? I am an evil wizard, and I’m going to control the world! Show some respect! And, what do I have to say about it? Well, first, bow down to me. Second, my outfit is way better than yours, and, third, I don’t even know what a “Jersey” is — much less a “new” one!

JUDGE
Do you plead insanity?

GEORGE
Yes, I do! I plead you all insane!

JUDGE
It’s easy to see. He’s gone crazy.

GEORGE
(Crying) All I wanted to do was control the world!!! Wahhh!!!

JUDGE
Fine, you can roam free, as long as you are in the supervision of my friend here, whose name is Fred.

SCENE 4

Setting: Manhattan, outside Pinkberry Fro-Yo Shop.

FRED
I’m hungry, want some fro-yo?

GEORGE
What is this “fro-yo”?

FRED
It’s tasty, you’ll see.

GEORGE
What about taking over the world?

FRED
Uh… we’ll do it later?

GEORGE
Okay then, unpaid underling!

FRED
Underling?!

GEORGE
Would you rather be called “Minion”?

FRED
Let’s just get fro-yo, okay?

SCENE 5

Setting: Manhattan, Inside Pinkberry

GEORGE and FRED are waiting in line for Pinkberry.

GEORGE
Why are we waiting in line? I deserve to be first!!!

FRED
No, you don’t. Maybe if you yell that they’re having a sale on something good they’ll leave.

GEORGE
Very true. I shall try. (Yelling) Dragonhide laser shields on sale in the next kingdom!

No one leaves.

FRED
Seriously, let me try. (Yelling) Starbucks is giving caramel mocha lattes for free!

Everyone leaves.

PINKBERRY GUY
What kind of fro-yo do you want?

GEORGE
Well, that depends. What kind of that do you have?

PINKBERRY GUY
We have original, chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, mango, and super-extreme coffee caramel jumbo mega dumpling extra surprise.

GEORGE
I’ll have that last one.

FRED
I’ll just have chocolate.

PINKBERRY GUY
Do you want toppings?

FRED
Yes.

PINKBERRY GUY
Do you want gummy bears?

GEORGE
What? Why would I ever want to eat a bear?

PINKBERRY GUY
Do you want gummy worms?

GEORGE
Worms? What are you trying to do? Kill me?

PINKBERRY GUY
Do you want chocolate rocks?

GEORGE
Stone? What do you think I am? A gargoyle? What else do you have?

PINKBERRY GUY
Do you want the jumbo coffee choco-latte glaze with banana cherry dumpling sprinkles?

GEORGE
Mmm, that sounds yummy. YES!!!

FRED
I’ll have rainbow sprinkles.

PINKBERRY GUY
That’ll be $8.45 please.

GEORGE
Pff… that’s so cheap.

GEORGE drops nine gold coins on the counter.

GEORGE
Keep the change.

PINKBERRY GUY takes the gold coins, biting them to be sure they’re real. When he sees that they are, he jumps up and starts dancing.

GEORGE and FRED eat their fro-yo.

GEORGE
This is delicious!!!

SCENE 6

Setting: Manhattan, central park

GEORGE AND FRED are sitting on a bench near the ruins of the museum.

GEORGE
Unpaid minion!

FRED
What?

GEORGE
How do I become king of this kingdom?

FRED
Well… there’s an election coming up.

GEORGE
What’s an election?

FRED
It’s when the citizens vote for their president.

GEORGE
Is a president like a king?

FRED
Yeah, except he shares his power.

GEORGE
How do I become president?

FRED
You announce that you are running for president, and then you hope you win.

GEORGE
Where do you announce that you are running for president?

FRED
Points at a crowd of people in front of a presidential candidate.
See them? Set yourself up next to him, and steal those voters!!!

GEORGE
Okay!

George sets himself up near the presidential candidate.

Vote for me!!!

SOMEONE ELSE
And why would I do that?

GEORGE
Because I said so!

KID
Hey! I know you! You’re the creep from New Jersey who blew up the museum! It’s always nice meeting an old friend, isn’t it?

GEORGE
I don’t even have a jersey. I don’t even know what it is!

OTHER KID
Yo! You’re that dude from Fire Island! See ya later, bro!

GEORGE
Where is this island of fire?!

SOMEONE
Kiss these babies!

GEORGE
Why would I kiss a stinkin’ baby!

SOMEONE
Every good politician does it!!

GEORGE
Get out of my space. You disgust me.

DUDE
Are you gonna help us with our problems, and take care of our ecosystem?

GEORGE
No! Take care of your own problems!

DUDETTE
Are you going to take care of our economy?

GEORGE
Why would I do that? I have enough money already.

YOUNG DUDE
Are you going to improve our civil rights?

GEORGE
No –– I’m going to turn this into an absolute monarchy!

YOUNG DUDETTE
Are you going to help the homeless?

GEORGE
How about they help themselves instead?

TEENAGE DUDE
Are you going to improve peaceful relations with other countries?

GEORGE
No! I’m going to start wars everywhere so I can conquer the world!

TEENAGE DUDETTE
Are you going to stop racism, discrimination, anti-Semitism, and sexism?

GEORGE
Nah, I have better stuff to do, like going to Pinkberry and eating dumpling fro-yo.

SOMEONE
Will you improve international security?

GEORGE
No. I think I’ll improve my security instead.

SOMEONE ELSE
Will you improve our prisons?

GEORGE
Good Idea! I’ll let everyone free, and then lock in anyone who opposes me!

SOMEONE
Will we get longer vacations?

GEORGE
You’ll work every day of the year, while I take vacations.

SOMEBODY ELSE
Will you improve schools?

GEORGE
I’ll close schools, and put anyone older than sixteen years old in the army, ten to sixteen years old in hard factories, seven to ten years old in medium factories, five to seven years old in shops, and one to five years old in my future personal mines. Anyone younger than one year old will be shot with a ray that keeps them babies forever, so I can have a baby secret agency.

SOMEONE
Will you kiss them?

GEORGE
For the last time, I will not kiss any stinkin’ babies! With this I end my speech.

FRED faints. Everybody walks off.

SCENE 7

Setting: Manhattan, some room or other.

GEORGE
My speech was awesome! They are so going to vote for me!

FRED
Um… we might have to talk about that…

GEORGE
About how good I am at this, right?

FRED
Let’s turn on the TV.

GEORGE
What’s a “TV”?

FRED
It’s hard to explain. I’ll just turn it on

FRED turns on the TV. GEORGE gasps.

GEORGE
Someone is trapped inside that piece of glass!! He’s gone crazy!

FRED
Actually, it’s all projected because of electricity or something –– no one’s actually trapped.

GEORGE
Electricity? What sort of sorcery is that? Is that what Tasers are powered on?

FRED
Actually, yes, but —

GEORGE
Shh, they are showing the polls.

SCENE 8

Setting: Some room or other, on TV.

TV HOST:
And here are the polls. First I shall introduce the two candidates: Mr. Presidential Candidate, and George the Wizard. Second, I shall give the statistics: Mr. Presidential Candidate: 100%. George the Wizard: 0%.

SCENE 9

Setting: Manhattan, some room or another.

GEORGE
Oh no! I’m last in the polls!

FRED
(Knowingly) Well, what are you gonna do about it?

GEORGE
I’m going to murder Mr. Presidential Candidate.

FRED
That’s not really what I was going for. Are you sure you have to resolve this with violence?

GEORGE
Yes –– where I come from, if you don’t like someone, you murder them.

FRED
Wow, tough neighborhood. Remind me never to go to New Jersey. Or Fire Island.

GEORGE
Gaaah! I was not born on an island of fire! How many times must I repeat this?

FRED
Wow. It must have been a really tough neighborhood if you won’t even acknowledge that you’re from there.

GEORGE
I’m still going to murder him.

FRED
Do you have to?

GEORGE
Yes.

SCENE 10

Setting: Manhattan, Empire State Building

GEORGE and MR. PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE are standing on top of the Empire State Building.

GEORGE
From up here we can see future goals, future people, and the future goals of our future people.

MR. PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE
Yes, but I wonder, why are you still in the race if I have 100% of voters?

GEORGE
Because of this!!!

GEORGE pushes MR. PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE off the Empire State Building.

GEORGE
I won!!!

The Poison Hotdog

Act One

Scene 1

MOLE GIRL

What are you doing Buuck

BUCK

I’m just waiting in line for my hotdog, but now I think it will come up.

MOLE GIRL

What’s that supposed to mean. He yar. Sorry I have he yar ittis, hei.

BUCK

Yeah…

LUNCH LADY

Next in line for a hotdog, oh and just a reminder: one of these hotdogs is poisoned. As if I care, though.

BUCK

That’s mine. Bye!

LUNCH LADY

Here you go, uhgg it’s you.

BUCK

You hate everyone at this school.

LUNCH LADY

Next!

BUCK

Hi guys, guess who I ran into in line for lunch.

JACK

Creepy Mole girl.

JOESF

She has a name!

JACK

Yeah, but no one wants to know it.

BUCK

Ugh. This hotdog tastes horrible!

COOL CLAIR

I over heard some ones hotdog tastes horrid. Rumor says that if your h-dog tastes hor you have the poisoned one.

BUCK

My stomach hurts!

 

Scene 2

SCHOOL NURSE

It looks like you did get the poisoned hotdog. I’m afraid if this hotdog stays in your body you might have to go to the hospital!

BUCK

Do I  have school leave early today?

Joesf:  More importantly, will he be okay?

SCHOOL NURSE

Yes, and I’m sorry but maybe.

BUCK

Should I go and grab my backpack?

SCHOOL NURSE

Yes.

Scene 3

BUCK

Guys I’m really nervous, do you know if I’ll be okay?

JOESF

We don’t know, we know it’s okay to be nervous right now.

JACK

Don’t be a scaredy-cat. Be a cool-cat.

JOESF

Are you insane, or do you have brain problems?

BUCK

Guys we have to tell the teacher that I’m leaving early.

JACK

Don’t be a goodie two-shoes

BUCK

I’m just worried, what if I die. I feel pain within me. Dieing!

Act Two

Scene 4

JOESF

Buck just died from the poisoned hotdog.  

MOLE GIRL

Oh no! Buck is dead. I hate the Lunch Lady.

JACK

Yes, no one panic.

JOESF

Yes panic, Buck is dead.

MOLE GIRL

My highschool sweetheart. The Lunch Lady ruined my life!

Scene 5

PRINCIPAL DANTESI

How come one of your hot dogs are poisoned.

LUNCH LADY

You don’t care about these children as much as I do. I mean we both hate these children as much as I do.

PRINCIPAL DANTESI

True, but I and the school could be sued for a lot of money.

LUNCH LADY

I know, but what’s the biggest harm 1 poisoned hotdog can do.

PRINCIPAL DANTESI

He died! But since I don’t care you’re off the hook. Now let’s call the parents.

MOM

(off stage) Well hello there friend. I don’t mean if this call is to take time from your work. What’s this happy call at the middle of the day about?

PRINCIPAL DANTESI

(on stage)   Your son ate a poison hotdog made by the Lunch Lady and it killed him

MOM

My god. That’s so horrible. I call to have a moment with my husband.

Scene 6

MOM

I just got a call that are son has died from lunch.

POP

My dear Buck, dead. This is horrible.

MOM

The hotdog was made by their Lunch Lady.

POP

Well pardon my words, but we’ve got to sue that Lunch Lady.

MOM

We can’t sue her without going to court.

POP

Then we shall go to court.

MOM

I’ll make the call. Mmhmm.  Mmmhm. Thank you. Be ready for court tomorrow.

Scene 7

MOM

Your honoer, my son was innocently going to school when he had a poisoned hotdog and died all because of that stupid, dumb Lunch Lady.

JUDGE

I’m sorry, we are talking about a kid in this court so please don’t use those words.

LUNCH LADY

I didn’t know he would get the poisoned hotdog that I made, okay I did know he’d get the poisoned one I gave it to him.

JUDGE

Why did you give it to him?

LUNCH LADY

He was always Saying I hate everyone at the school and interrupting me and my thoughts.

JUDGE

I sentence you to 25 years in jail, and instead of you sueing her  she will pay everything for your son’s funeral. Now everybody can be happy (quietly) I hope!

           THE END

A Jail Play

Act One, Scene 1

Setting

In a jail cell. At rise, DEVIL & HOT are sleeping on bunk beds in cell center stage, DEVIL on the top bunk. There’s a tiny sink and a little toilet. There are jail-bar lighting effects on the stage. The cell has tan-colored walls.

DEVIL

Zzzz…

HOT wakes up. HOT looks at DEVIL. DEVIL wakes up.

DEVIL

Where am I ?

HOT  

You’re in a jail cell, and my name is Hot.

GUARD 1 enters on left and walks to the cell. GUARD 2 runs after GUARD 1

GUARD 2

Wait, wait master! It is lunch time. We must take them to lunch.

GUARD 1

They can wait.

GUARD 1 & GUARD 2 stop in front of cell, center stage.

DEVIL  

(shouting) Hey! You! Stupid guard! Why am I here?

GUARD  1

Don’t yell at me! You’re here because you robbed a bank!

HOT is sitting on the bed listening. GUARD 2 is trying to look scary and brave, but he’s not doing a good job at it.

GUARD 2  

(acting tough, to DEVIL) You better behave in here.

DEVIL takes a step forward and GUARD 2 gets scared, and he runs away downstage left. GUARD 1 makes an exasperated face in response to GUARD 2, then exits downstage right.

HOT

I have a plan.

DEVIL  

A plan for what?

HOT  

A plan to break out of jail and rob a bank. Trust me, I’ve done this a thousand times. It will be fine… We won’t get in  trouble.

DEVIL

Fine, I’ll do it .

HOT whispers the plan  in DEVIL’s ear.

Curtain.

 

Act One, Scene 2

Setting

The same jail cell, but the light is lower to indicate that it’s nighttime. HOT and DEVIL are digging a tunnel in the floor of the cell (in a trap-door) with spoons at rise. The tunnel is big enough for them to disappear beneath stage level.  They are digging.

HOT

It’s going to be great when we break out of jail I can’t wait to-

DEVIL

(yelling) Ssssshhh, if you keep talking, a guard is going to come!!!

HOT

No they won’t don’t worry you always wor-

GUARD 1 comes downstage right  and walks to cell.

GUARD 1      

(yelling) WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ALERT ALERT, PRISONERS ESCAPING!

DEVIL and HOT both jump in the hole and start shoveling faster, trying to get away.

GUARD 1 rushes to the side of the cell and presses a button (the audience can’t see it). A siren and a red flashing light come on. GUARD 2 runs in.  He’s a little disoriented and wearing pink bunny pajamas.

GUARD 2

What, what, what happened?

GUARD 1

Unlock the door and go after them!

GUARD 2 shakes his head and hands his keys to GUARD 1, trembling with fear. GUARD 1 grabs the keys, unlocks the door, grabs GUARD 2 by the scruff of the neck, and throws him down the hole, then jumps in after him.

Curtain.

 

Act One, Scene 3

Setting  

Stage is divided in half. Stage left is a courtroom. POLICEMEN 1-4 are there. JUDGE is there, and GUARD 2 is there, still in his pajamas. DEVIL and HOT are there, handcuffed. Stage right is outside the courthouse. There are old-fashioned lamp posts, a shrub, and a parked cop car (it can be a cardboard cutout).

There’s a murmur of commotion at rise. JUDGE bangs her gavel.

JUDGE

Order! Order!

The room gets quiet.

JUDGE

(sounding official) I hereby announce that Devil and Hot have twenty more years of jail! Extra security is needed for these prisoners! We need a police-detail on their cell until we find a more secure facility.

JUDGE bangs her gavel. POLICEMEN take HOT and DEVIL outside (stage right) to go to the cop car so that the cop car can take HOT and DEVIL back to jail.

HOT  

NOW!

HOT and DEVIL take off running from the cops, but they forgot that they were handcuffed together. HOT went to the left side of a lamp-post, and DEVIL went to the right side.The chain of the cuffs wrapped around the post, and so did HOT and DEVIL and they smack heads.

COPs and GUARDs  

Hahaha

Curtain.

 

Act 1 scene 4

Stage split in half. Stage right is the half for the jail indicated by a sign upstage right that reads “County Jail  Visiting Hours 11 – 3, M-F” and a barred window. Center stage is the road, indicated by a jumble of road signs. Stage left is the Courthouse parking lot. Sign upstage left reads “Courthouse parking only.” At rise, GUARDs 1 and 2 are stage right, GUARD 2 is eating a banana next to a giant pile of banana peels.

COP 3

(To other cops) Come on! Let’s get them in the car.

COP 2 and COP 4 pick up HOT and DEVIL and put them in the car. COP 1, 2, 3, and 4 get in the car. COP 1 drives the cardboard cutout of a cop car to the jail, walking in intricate circles and figure-8s around the road signs. They pull up next to the jail.

GUARD 1 and 2 are waiting for them.

COP 1 gets out of the car.

GUARD 2  

Hey, cop! Guess what! I’m trying to set the world record for eating the most bananas!

COP 1

We don’t care.

COP 2 opens the back door for HOT and DEVIL.

DEVIL

NOW!

HOT and DEVIL take off running but GUARD 2 has already started breaking the banana-eating record and HOT and DEVIL slip on his banana peels.

GUARD 2

NNNNOOOO all of my hard work, gone!!!

GUARD 1 rolls his eyes, sighs, and brings HOT and DEVIL to a cell.

Curtain.

 

Act 1 scene 5

HOT and DEVIL are sitting on bed.

DEVIL notices a bandaid on HOT’s elbow. He grabs HOT’s arm to look at it, then holds it up to the wall.

HOT

Hey, what are you doing with my arm?

DEVIL

Don’t you see? These bandaids are the same color as the wall! We could use them as camouflage!!!

HOT

Then we can ask for a box of bandaids and cover ourselves in them. Then, they will think that we’re not here, and they’ll open the door to our cell, and we can run out!

DEVIL

Brilliant! It will be a piece of cake, just like this one I got from the cafeteria.

DEVIL holds up a piece of cake.

HOT  

Okay, but we have to ask that weird guard that doesn’t know anything.

Beat.

Here he comes now!

HOT and DEVIL stand up and GUARD 2 walks in from the left  and to the cell. GUARD 2 is on a cell phone.

GUARD 2

(into phone) Yes, dear, yes, I promise I won’t forget our anniversary dinner tonight.

Beat.

Yes, dear, I won’t forget again. Goodbye.

(Hangs up)

DEVIL

Hey, weirdo! Give us a box of bandaids!

GUARD2

O-okay

GUARD 2 reaches in his pocket and pulled out a box of bandaids.

HOT and DEVIL reach for the box at the same time GUARD 2 gets scared and drops the box, then he  runs off stage right. HOT reaches down and grabs the box and opens it.

DEVIL  

Let’s only do the front of us because we don’t have enough.

DEVIL and HOT reach into the box and start covering themselves with Band-aids. (see Appendix, Fig.1)

Lights fade out. DEVIL and HOT have been wearing orange jumpsuits over Band-aid costumes. They take off the top layer to reveal costumes made to look like they’ve covered themselves in Band-aids- back-side orange jumpsuit. Slip on sleeves (made of pantyhose) that have been painted to look like Band-aids covering the front of their arms and faces. Lights fade back up. They give each other an approving nod. They stand flat against the cell wall, blending in.

 

HOT

(leaning forward, feigning the GUARD’s voice) Prisoners escaped! Prisoners escaped! All guards to the cell block! (leans back against the wall).

GUARD 1 rushes in from stage left, GUARD 2 rushes in from stage right. They look in the cell, which appears to be empty. GUARD 1 presses the button, and the siren and lights start again. All the while, HOT and DEVIL are very still against the wall. COPS 1, 2, and 3 enter from stage left.

GUARD 1

(To COPS, looking at COPS) I thought there was supposed to be extra police-detail security! Where were you? You were supposed to be watching them!!!

COP 2

Sorry, sorry, we won’t let this happen again.

COP 3 opens the door to take a look and HOT and DEVIL run out, but they don’t get far. When they run away, you can see that their backsides are orange-jumpsuits even though they’re band-aid colored in the front. They’re running towards stage right.

DEVIL and HOT are almost off stage when GUARD 2’s WIFE enters right in their path, stage right.

GUARD 2’s WIFE

(Yelling) Why did you forget our anniversary again!?! This is it!

DEVIL and HOT slam right into her and fall down. GUARD 2’s wife faints. COPS handcuff DEVIL and HOT together. GUARD 2 gets scared of what his wife will do, so he runs away, stage left.

Curtain.

 

Act 1 scene 6

Back in the courtroom. GUARD 2 and his WIFE are there with the JUDGE, the four COPS and GUARD 1. The JUDGE is listing the reasons why GUARD 2 should go to jail.

JUDGE bangs her gavel.

JUDGE

(in an official voice) Order! Order! We are here to discuss what this guard has done and why he should be put in jail.

GUARD 2’s WIFE’s arms are crossed and so doesn’t look impressed.

JUDGE

He has robbed four banks. He has gone over the speed limit 2,000 times and has a fee of 9000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 dollars!

GUARD 2

(shaking, worried) I  can explain! I only robbed the banks because I had to make it up to my wife for the fifty anniversary dinners I’ve forgotten. And the speeding tickets… you see, I failed the driver’s test five times when I was a teenager, and I just didn’t think I could ever get a job without a driver’s license, so one of my friends took it for me. So, I’m not really sure what “speed limit” means.

JUDGE

I hereby announce that this guard has fifty years of jail and should be put in the same jail cell as those weird devils.

GUARD2

But- But- But- please, I promise that I won’t do it again!!

JUDGE

No buts now… Off to jail!

Curtain.

 

Act 1 scene 7

Setting: Jail cell.

GUARD 2 is in the same cell as HOT and DEVIL. They are all sitting on the bottom bed, thinking.

GUARD 2

How will we get out of here? It’s impossible!

GUARD 2 puts his hands into his pocket and his face lights up as he stands up.

GUARD 2

Oh! I STILL HAVE THE KEY! And a gun!

DEVIL

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? OPEN THE DOOR!!!

GUARD 2 walks to the door and turns the key. The door swings open. An alarm goes off.

HOT

Come on or they will see us!

GUARD 2, HOT, and DEVIL run off right stage as soon as GUARD 1 comes running in from left stage.

Curtain.

 

Act 1 scene 8

Stage split in half. Bank on right stage and parking lot left stage both visible. HOT, DEVIL, and GUARD 2 are at the bank. There are five BANK TELLERS standing behind the counter on the far right side.

HOT

You better give us all your money, or I will blow up the whole bank with you inside it!

BANK TELLER 1

Never!!!

BANK TELLER 3

(in a tough voice) Why should we?

DEVIL takes out a gun from his orange jumpsuit.

DEVIL

If you don’t… I’ll shoot at you!

BANK TELLER 2

O– o– okay.

BANK TELLER 4 and 5 whisper to each other then BANK TELLER 5 goes on the phone with someone, while BANK TELLER 1, 2, and 3 give them the money. Just as HOT, DEVIL, and GUARD 2 turn to leave, they hear a siren. They run out of the bank and run off left stage.

Car enters from left stage license plate reads, “I DID IT”

Cop car pulls up next to the car with the siren on.

COP 1
Get out of that car now!!!

MAN

I don’t understand. I didn’t do anything wrong.

COP

Then why does your license plate say, “I DID IT” when there was just a robbery here!!!

MAN

I customized it! Get it? I DID IT myself!

COP

(in a little voice) Oh.

COP drives away right stage.

Curtain.

 

Act 1 scene 9

In an English mansion. Enter HOT, DEVIL wearing sunglasses and Hawaiian shirts. GUARD 2 wearing bunny pajamas.

DEVIL  

Finally, we made it!

HOT  

So glad we can afford this mansion now!

GUARD 2  

And these stylish clothes!

GUARD 2’s WIFE, GUARD 1, COP 1, 2, 3, and 4  and the MAN in the car come on left stage. JUDGE and BANK TELLERS 1 – 5 enter from right stage. ALL bow at the same time.

 

Emma

SCENE 1

EMMA and KATE are in EMMA’S basement. They are practicing their dance for the competition.

EMMA

The twist! The jump! The step-step split. Go!

KATE starts dancing,

EMMA

You did it! 

KATE

Yay!!! Emma, I’m so excited for the competition. It’s tomorrow. I hope we win.

EMMA

I hope so, too. The Silver Steps have won every single year. And we have lost every single year. We have to win!!

KATE

Do you want to practice it?

EMMA

Sure.

EMMA starts dancing until she falls and starts moaning.

EMMA

Ow, ow, it really hurts, Mom.

KATE runs across the stage, up the stairs, and rushes to EMMA’s MOM’s room.

MOM

What happened?

KATE

Emma hurt herself.

They both run to EMMA and her MOM calls 9-1-1.

MOM

Can you have an ambulance to Street Wood Road, number 236? (Ends the phone call.) Honey, are you okay?

EMMA

I think I’m fine but it really hurts.

SFX of an ambulance. Ambulance comes. They put her in the ambulance, and with MOM and KATE, they go to the hospital.

SCENE 2

DOCTOR, EMMA, KATE, and MOM are in the hospital. DOCTOR treats EMMA.

DOCTOR

She sprained her ankle. And she has to be off it for a week.

EMMA

But I have dance competitions tomorrow! And I can’t miss that.

DOCTOR

Well, you have to be off it or else that ankle of yours will get even worse.

EMMA

Ughhh!

KATE

It’ll be fine. I’ll video tape it for you. And besides, we won’t even win cause The Silver Steps win every single year.

EMMA

I know we’ll win this year. Good luck.

DOCTOR

Here’s medicine for her foot. Feel better.

They walk off, end of scene 2.

SCENE 3

EMMA and MOM are in MOM’S room.

EMMA

Mom, I want to perform. I’ve dreamed about since I was little!

MOM

But, sweetie, you can’t. Your leg is sprained and you can’t dance on it ‘cause you might injure it even more.

EMMA

But, Mom —

MOM

No buts, but we can still go and watch it.

EMMA

Mom, even if my group won, it wouldn’t affect me because I wouldn’t have been in it. Please, Mom.

MOM

No!

EMMA storms out of the room.

SCENE 4

EMMA and KATE are talking on the phone.

EMMA

Hello, Kate.

KATE

Hey, what’s up, Emma?

EMMA

I’m mad at my mom because she’s not letting me perform.

KATE

Well, you can’t because you hurt your leg.

EMMA

Well, it’s not like I broke it or anything. It’s just that I sprained it. But, I can still walk so I can still perform.

KATE

But Emma. Even if you didn’t hurt it that much, you could injure it even more. I can’t let you perform.

EMMA

Well, I’m still going, and you can’t do anything to stop me.

MOM listens in.

MOM

Emma’s still going. I must do something to stop her! But I must not tell Emma that I listened to the phone call, or she’ll get mad at me.

SCENE 5

EMMA is going outside.

EMMA

I’m going outside to talk a walk, Mom!

Mom, Mom where are you?

MOM

Hi honey, where are you going?

EMMA

Oh hi, Mom, what ya doing?

MOM

I’m just going shopping.

EMMA

I’m going to go out now. I am taking my crutches with me.

EMMA walks out and MOM follows

MOM
Where you going?

EMMA
I’m meeting Kate.

MOM

But Kate is at the competition.

EMMA

I know.

MOM

Why do you have a backpack?

EMMA

Because um…

MOM

Tell the truth.

EMMA

I want to go to the competition, because I know this year we’ll win, but if I don’t go, and we still win, I feel like I won’t have done anything because I won’t have participated in it.

MOM

What about if we go home, and I will make mac and cheese with broccoli — your favorite? We can call your dad when we get home. I know you miss Dad since he is away in Paris doing some work.                                                             

SCENE 6

MOM and EMMA are in the dining room eating dinner.

MOM

Sweetie, even if your team won, you would still support them.

EMMA

But Mom, even if they win I would be happy for them, but I wouldn’t feel happy for me because I wouldn’t have been in it.

MOM

But still, even if you weren’t even in the performance, it was still your team that won… You’re still part of your team, even if you weren’t there.

EMMA

I never thought of it like that, I guess you are right.

The phone rings

EMMA

Hi, Kate.

KATE

We won the competition!       

EMMA
You did? I’m so happy for you. I wish I was there, but at least you won, and our team has a trophy.                                                        

THE END

Lost Kids

Once upon a time, there were two boys who hated school. They went to recess and decided they wanted to run away, so they ran off into the forest and got lost.

 

SCENE 1

ALAN

I don’t want to go to school! I don’t want to go to school!

 

ALAN’S MOM

Too bad, so sad. You. GO.

 

ALAN

I left my homework at school and I don’t want my teacher to be mad at me.

 

ALAN’S MOM

Tell me the truth, I saw your homework at home.

 

ALAN

Fine. The teacher said I have… (takes a deep breath) D-Y-S-L-E-X-I-A.

 

ALAN’S MOM

No, you don’t! When you were three you told me you read the whole series of Harry Potter.

 

ALAN

No, I didn’t, I actually lied to you.

 

MOM

I’ll call your teacher and ask.

 

ALAN

Fine, go ahead.

 

MOM

        She picks up the phone to call, but then puts it down. 

Actually, I believe you. Maybe you do have dyslexia. But you still have to go to school.

 

ALAN

Ugh. Fine.

 

Lights out.

SCENE 2

        In reading class (ELA).

 

TEACHER

Write a whole paragraph on what we just learned.

        The TEACHER turns to write on the board.

 

ALAN

(To himself) Should I try or should I sleep? I’ll just sleep, I don’t need this rubbish.

 

He falls asleep. The TEACHER comes to him and pokes him on the shoulder. Then the recess bell rings. ALAN wakes up.

 

TEACHER

Just keep trying! It’s okay to mess up, just keep trying!

 

Everyone else has gotten up to get their coats and walks out of the classroom, JACK looks at ALAN with understanding and pity. ALAN rolls his eyes at the teacher and leaves, with JACK following behind him.

 

SCENE 3

        ALAN sits on the bench crying at recess.

JACK

Are you okay?

 

ALAN

No. I just went to sleep because I didn’t understand.

 

JACK

You don’t understand what?

 

ALAN

Don’t tell anybody, okay?

 

JACK

Okay, I promise.

 

ALAN

(whispers) I. Have. D-Y-S-L-E-X-I-A.

 

JACK

Let me tell you a secret. I have dyslexia too.

 

ALAN

       ALAN looks at JACK in awe, and then gives him a big hug.

 

JACK

I have always thought of getting lost and not going to school.

 

ALAN

That is a great idea!

 

JACK

Since we’re at recess, let’s do it now!

 

ALAN

Wait, but the teacher wants to talk to me after school.

 

JACK

Oh whatever, forget about it.

 

ALAN

Where should we go?

 

JACK

       He writes down “Bahamas” and shows ALAN.

 

ALAN

What’s Bamahams?

 

JACK

(gently) It’s called the Bahamas.

 

ALAN

That would be too hard, let’s go somewhere else. Oh, I know! The forest!

 

JACK

Uhh, I’m a little scared of bears, and like cats, and like bunnies, and like trees.  But… okay.

 

ALAN

Are you scared of something?

 

JACK

(lying) No, not at all.

 

ALAN

Whatever. Let’s get the heckster out of here.

 

SCENE 4

        In the forest, the sounds of birds and animals can be heard. They’ve just arrived.

JACK

Oh. T-t-trees!

 

ALAN

Okay? Dude, are you scared of something?

 

JACK

Fine, yes. I’m scared of the things I mentioned before we left to go to the forest.

 

ALAN

Dude, why didn’t you tell me this? Before, you said that you were not scared of those things. We could have gone somewhere where you wouldn’t be scared.

 

JACK

I’ll be honest next time.

 

ALAN

Okay.

 

JACK

(looking up at the sky looking at the birds) I wish I was a bird and I could be free and not have dyslexia.

 

ALAN

(standing there in silence with his arms crossed looking up at the sky, talking to himself) That was my dream when I was little, to be a bird.

 

JACK

Oh well.

       JACK walks with his head down, sad. JACK bumps into a tree.

 Ahhh!

 

ALAN

Jeez, Jack! Calm down!

 

The boys see something on the tree.

 

JACK

Oh my gosh! The t-tree said something.

 

ALAN

Let me read it. Hmmm… Pelh pere.

 

JACK

I don’t think that is was it says. Our teacher told me a trick. Let me try it. Hmmm. I think it says, “Help here.” Yes, that must be it.

 

ALAN

Who wants to help us?

 

JACK

Alan, I have one question. Why does it say it on the t-tree and not the mud or something?

 

ALAN

Well, maybe somebody was scared of the trees and they needed to escape very fast because they just can’t handle trees and they said “help’’ because they just can’t find the way out of here.

 

JACK

O-o-okay. How can we help?

 

ALAN

Oh my gosh. Look at the footsteps on the floor that are right next to the tree. Maybe that’s where the man tried to escape.

 

JACK

Should we follow them?

 

ALAN

Okay. I hope these footsteps don’t lead to a dangerous place.

 

JACK

Wait, what do you mean a dangerous place?

 

ALAN

Listen, dude. We are in the middle of a forest. Anything can happen.

 

JACK

I’m starting to think that what we are doing is very bad. I mean, we’ve been in the forest for two days now. Don’t you think our parents will worry? Our parent sent us to school to learn right? If we are struggling we should tell the teacher and learn together. We can learn to read with dyslexia.

 

ALAN

Are you alright, man? But…

        JACK starts crying.

 

ALAN

I forgot about going back home and being in my mom’s arms. And her kissing me good night.

 

JACK

Let’s go back.

 

ALAN

Go back were? We are in the middle of the forest and it’s 3:00. By the time we get to school, it will be tomorrow at 1:00 in the morning.

 

JACK

How do we get out?

 

ALAN

The same way we came in.

 

JACK

Which is…?

 

ALAN

Man. We’ve got to be brave and follow the footsteps.

 

JACK

I don’t know about that.

 

ALAN

Jack… man up you have to face your fears.

 

JACK

I guess.

 

The boys walk more into the forest.

 

ALAN

Looks like the footsteps we saw earlier lead into a cave.

 

JACK shivers.

 

ALAN

Dude, this is the last time I’m telling you to man up and face your fears.

 

JACK

But…

 

Trees make sounds.

 

JACK

Ahhh. T-trees.

       JACK runs straight into the cave.

Uhhh, Alan you here, bro?

 

ALAN

JACK!!! Where are you???

 

JACK

I’m in a cave without t-trees.

 

ALAN

Ummm, is this the cave?

 

JACK

Hurry up! I am suffering in here!

 

JACK

Oh Alan, I see you!

 

ALAN

I see you too! But why are you holding a leaf in your hand from a tree?

 

JACK

Wait… WHAT?! Oh, this isn’t that bad.

 

ALAN

Oh look, there are more footsteps.

 

JACK

Let’s follow them.

 

ALAN

Okay.

 

ALAN and JACK follow the footsteps.

 

JACK

Oh look, there is our school.

 

ALAN’S MOM and JACK’S MOM are looking for them and crying.

 

JACK’S MOM

Jack, where were you? I was worried sick.

 

JACK

Well, we just couldn’t do it anymore.

 

JACK’S MOM

Couldn’t do what?

                

JACK

Well, long story. Well, actually, first thing’s first… I have dyslexia. Let’s talk about what happened at home. Just one thing…. All Alan’s fault.

 

ALAN

Dude, you agreed to it!

 

ALAN’S MOM

Agreed to what?

 

ALAN

Never mind.

 

JACK

Just saying, it’s you who should be blamed.

 

ALAN

Jack, I’m not talking to you anymore if you are going to blame me for it.

 

JACK

Fine.

 

ALAN

Good.

 

JACK

And one more thing: it’s Bahamas, you idiot.

 

ALAN ignores JACK.

 

ALAN

Why are you bringing that up now? Bye.

 

ALAN goes home with his mom.

 

SCENE 5

        The next day.

 

JACK

You know what? I was a huge idiot yesterday for blaming you.

 

JACK looks into ALAN’s eyes and cries and gives him a huge hug.

Creme Brulee

Characters:

CAT

SOPHIE

MYRTLE

JAKE

BAKER 1

BAKER 2

Scene 1

In a dark room with trash all over the floor.

JAKE is right outside the window of the dark room. He’s standing protectively outside of the house, so the BAKERS don’t enter.

JAKE

Nothing here, you Bakers. Now get a move on!

The BAKERS don’t move.

Sophie is standing in the dark room. She sneakily looks out the window, so they don’t see.

SOPHIE

The bakers are here. We have to hide!

CAT

Well, maybe you have to, because you stole that magic cinnamon from the spice stand.

SOPHIE

Well, you helped!

CAT

No, I did not!

SOPHIE

The bakers might come in.

CAT

I’m scared.

SOPHIE

I’ll be on the lookout.

SOPHIE looks out the window again.

SOPHIE 

The bakers are probably looking for that creme brulee recipe.

CAT 

Cool.

BAKER 1 is standing outside the window.

BAKER 1

Let us in, farm boy!

JAKE

I’m not a farm boy! Also, I don’t even know how to make toast!

 

BAKER 2

Let’s go. He’s innocent.

BAKER 1

Copy.

In the dark room.

SOPHIE

The bakers are gone.

CAT

I’m going to work.

SOPHIE

Work? I thought there weren’t any jobs to go to. I thought you could only –

CAT walks out of the room with some pep in her steps.

SOPHIE

I need to get to Kimmy’s house.

Scene 2

A cobblestone street. The very few people that are there are looking very scared. CAT is walking down the street.

CAT

Hello!

CAT tips her hat.

CAT

Have a very nice day!

Scene 3

A dusty shop with many old things in it. MS. MYRTLE is standing behind a desk.

 

CAT

Hello, Ms. Myrtle. How are you?

MYRTLE

I am very good, Cat. How are you?

CAT

I’m good.

MYRTLE

There are some new things in the back. Can you please unpack them for me? Take the creme brulee recipe from the pile. Also, can you give a message to the cook and say that I don’t have the recipe?

CAT

Okay.

CAT walks through the piles of junk.

Scene 4

A dusty room with bags of things.

CAT

Where is the new delivery?

Shows a bag that says “New Delivery.”

CAT

Oh. There it is.

CAT opens the bag.

CAT

Whoa! That’s the recipe!

A picture of a creme brulee is on a scrap of paper.

CAT

Whoa! I understand why the cook wants this so much!

One cup of sugar

Four egg whites

One teaspoon of flour

One half cup of cream

Cook for as long as pleases you.

(It will come out perfect only if you cook it as long as your favorite number.)

MYRTLE

(distant sounding) What are you doing back there?

CAT

Just being a good assistant! Hehehe.

MYRTLE

Okay.

CAT

This is gonna rock!

Scene 5

The Bakery. Many sweets are being eaten at pink tables. Happy music is playing through hidden speakers.

COOK

That recipe is mine. Well, I hope it is.

COOK stops waiter.

COOK

I’ll be right back, I just forgot something.

WAITER

Okay.

Scene 6

The street. Same as before. Because of COOK’S huge ego and her huge mansion, people on the street are staring in awe at her.

COOK goes into the old shop

COOK

I want the recipe right now!

MYRTLE

Why would I have it? I’m an innocent old woman! You are acting like some stupid recipe is a matter of life and death!

COOK

It is a matter of life and death. It’s magic. According to legend, it can bring people back to life.

MYRTLE

Why are you relying on a legend?

COOK

Well, legends are sometimes real.

MYRTLE

Okay, but don’t blame me if you go through this entire pursuit of trying to find something that isn’t real.

COOK

It probably is real, but don’t blame me if I become richer from this recipe.

CAT and COOK walk out of the shop at the same time.

Scene 7

CAT and COOK are on the street outside of MS. MYRTLE’S. CAT is standing a few feet away from COOK and muttering to herself.

CAT

(whispering to herself) I can’t let the Cook have the recipe. She already has too much money as it is.

COOK walks up to CAT.

COOK

Are you sure that Ms. Myrtle doesn’t have the recipe?

CAT

Yes, I’m very sure. Hehehe.

Scene 8

SOPHIE and CAT are in their dusty kitchen. On the table, are the special ingredients for the magic creme brulee.

CAT is stirring all of the ingredients in a mixing bowl.

CAT

Come on, Sophie. Let’s try the batter.

SOPHIE

Okay!

They try the batter.

SOPHIE and CAT

It’s so good!

They put in the oven to bake.  

Scene 9

SOPHIE and CAT’s dusty kitchen –– fifteen minutes later.

CAT pulls the creme brulee out of the oven.

CAT

Whoa….

SOPHIE

Let’s try it!

They both take a bite.

COOK opens up the kitchen door and slams it shut.

COOK

I know you have the recipe! Now give it to me!

SOPHIE and CAT are bouncing around, giggling.

SOPHIE and CAT

I think this made me really happy!

COOK

You are stealing something really powerful!

The girls continue to bounce and laugh.

CAT

(to COOK) Really?

SOPHIE shoves a mouthful of creme brulee into COOK’s mouth. COOK starts bouncing around and smiling.

COOK

This is magic!

SOPHIE

Why?

COOK

Because it’s so good! Let’s open a new bakery together and live eating creme brulee forever!

SOPHIE and CAT

Yay!

THE END

Odysseus and the Cyclops

  

NARRATOR

For many days Odysseus and his ships wandered the empty seas for sanctuary. The Trojan war had ended and Odysseus and his men were returning home to the island of Ithaca. There his wife Penelope and his son Telemachus were waiting for him. Ten years had passed since he had laid eyes on them. Finally, they washed up on the shore of a mysterious island.

 

ODYSSEUS

Men, the gods have blessed us with refuge from the vigorous sea. (Stands tall, looks at men proudly.) Let’s explore the island.

(MEN nod in agreement.)

 

NARRATOR

As the men wander the island, they come across something unexpected.

MAN 3

Um, you might want to see this. (Looks at cave in astonishment.)

MAN 1

It looks like a giant cave!

MAN 2

Let’s explore it!

(MEN walk into cave.)

(Gasp in astonishment.)

NARRATOR

The walls were lined with jugs of milk and cheese as tall as a man. The men ate and ate until they couldn’t eat anymore.

(MEN slouch moan and hold stomachs.)

MAN 4

(Groans.) I’m so full.

MAN 1

So am I. I’ve never been any fuller in my entire life!

NARRATOR

Suddenly the cave shook.

MAN 3

Ahhh! Is this an earthquake?!

(MEN lie down, scared.)

NARRATOR

No. It wasn’t an earthquake, but a gigantic, hairy, one-eyed freak of nature, the Cyclops!

(Leads sheep into cave, sheep bleat, CYCLOPS looks at men with anger.)

CYCLOPS

You ate my food! You will be punished!

[Picks up two MEN (2&3) eats them, burps loudly. MEN look at CYCLOPS terrified.]

ODYSSEUS

Now that you have eaten, you must drink.

(Hands CYCLOPS giant wine jug.)

CYCLOPS

(Drinks wine, wipes mouth.) (Contented sigh.) Thank you for the Trojan wine. What is your name?

ODYSSEUS

My name is Nobody.

CYCLOPS

Nice name. My gift for you is that you will be eaten last. (Falls asleep, snores loudly)

MAN 4

Stab him with your sword, Odysseus!

ODYSSEUS

My sword is useless. He is huge. Instead, we can sharpen that log into a spear and set it on fire!  We can poke the Cyclops’s eye out with it.

(Men start working on spear.)

NARRATOR

The Cyclops started to stir.

(CYCLOPS stretches, yawns.)

ODYSSEUS

Set the log on fire!

(MEN charge into CYCLOPS’s eye.)

CYCLOPS

Aaargh! What have you done?!

OTHER CYCLOPS

(Walks over.) What happened?!

CYCLOPS

Nobody has blinded me!

OTHER CYCLOPS

You must have been dreaming. (Walks away.)

CYCLOPS

Nobody, you will pay for this!

(He lets sheep out.)

ODYSSEUS

Tie two sheep together then tie yourself to the sheep.

(Men tie themselves to sheep. Sheep walk out with men tied to them.)

CYCLOPS

I won’t let you escape! (Touches the tops of sheep looking for men.)

NARRATOR

Odysseus and his men were free! They rejoiced for having escaped the Cyclops, but mourned for their friends that had been eaten. They continued on their voyage back to Ithaca.

The Road to Fame

 

INT. Restaurant – DAY

APRIL, 20 years old, waitress, is telling the specials of the day to some customers.

April’s boss, GEORGE, 45 years old, starts walking near April and grabs her arm and tells her he needs to talk to her.

GEORGE

You’ve been doing really good work lately, so I’m giving you a promotion as Co-Assistant.

April’s face freezes.

APRIL

(squeaky)

Oh, that’s really great, thank you. But that’s a lot of responsibility, are you sure you want to give me that responsibility?

April goes back to working, turns to the table. George gets a phone call and takes it.

CUT TO:

INT. APRIL’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

April’s best friend and roommate, NAOMI, 20 years old, who wants to be a model, is sitting on the couch watching Pretty Little Liars. April walks through the door and plops on the couch next to Naomi.

APRIL

I had the worst day at work today! I got promoted to co-assistant.

NAOMI

April, that’s great! I don’t get what is so bad about that.

APRIL

It is longer hours and then I don’t  have as much time to get to audition, I just wanted it to be a job ‘til I get my big acting break.

April stands up to go to bed.

FADE TO:

INT. April’s bedroom – Day

April wakes up and falls off her bed. She looks at her alarm clock and realizes she’s late for work. April stands up and rushes to get ready.

CUT TO:

INT. BUS – DAY

JULIA, 23 years old, works with April, friend.

Julia walks into work.

April calls Julia.

APRIL

I need you to do a favor for me.

JULIA

Sure, what is it?

APRIL

Can you stall George until I get to work?

JULIA

Okay I will try. Bye.

APRIL

Bye, thanks.

April hangs up.    

CUT TO:

INT. RESTAURANT – DAY

April walks in to the work. Julia is talking to George near the cashier because she was stalling him for April. Julia walks away towards April.

JULIA

Thank god you are here, I have been stalling George by telling him about the boundary of hygiene.

APRIL

Sorry, my alarm clock broke and I overslept. Thank you so much.

JULIA

You’re welcome.

Julia and April go do their work.

FADE TO:

INT. APRIL’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

April’s phone rings and she picks it up. It’s a MOVIE PRODUCER, 46, black hair, in a suit. April squeals and then she answers.

THEATRE PRODUCER

Hello, is this April Sousa?

APRIL

Um, yes this is April Sousa.

THEATRE PRODUCER

Yes I’m calling to tell you that there is an audition tomorrow for a new movie and I think that you would be great for the part, so I’m inviting you to come.  

APRIL

Yes, I would love to come tomorrow to the audition.

THEATRE PRODUCER

So I will see you there.

APRIL

Yes, you will definitely see me there. Thanks so much for calling.

THEATRE PRODUCER

Bye now.

APRIL

Bye!

April hangs up and turns on the T.V.

FADE TO:

INT. -APRIL’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Naomi walks in. April is sitting on the couch.

APRIL

I have just the greatest news.

NAOMI

Really, what is it?

APRIL

A movie producer called me and asked  me to come to an audition. He said that he thinks I’m great for the part.

NAOMI

Wow, thats great, but…

APRIL

But what?

NAOMI

But what about work?

APRIL

I will just call in sick. He will never know that I wasn’t sick. It’s not like he’s going be at the audition.

Naomi walks away with a nervous look on her face.

CUT TO:

EXT. sidewalk- day

April is walking to her audition.

APRIL

(speaking to herself)

April c’mon don’t be nervous. You can do this. You are a great actress. It’s not wrong that I called in sick, right? Because I was pretty sick of work anyway.

FADE TO:

INT. theater- day

April walks into the theater.

THEATRE PRODUCER

Oh I am so glad you are here, you are next to audition.

APRIL

That’s great I will just go get my costume, and I am glad to be here.

It is all my pleasure.

April walks to her dressing room to put on her costume.

FADE TO:

INT.theater- day

As April steps out of her dressing room her eyes get big as bowling balls. She sees her boss standing right there talking to his son and he looks over at her. She tilts her hat over her face and looks away. But he sees her anyway.

GEORGE

What are you doing here? I thought you were sick!

APRIL

Well funny story, I got this audition that I really wanted so I just called in sick. Ha ha ha funny right?

GEORGE

That’s not funny. That’s lying.

APRIL

Are you going to fire me?

GEORGE

No, I’m not going to fire you, because I love you!

APRIL

Say what in the who now?

George leans in to kiss April. She slaps him right across the face.

GEORGE

Hey what did you do that for?

APRIL

Because you’re a idiot and why the heck in the world did you do that?

GEORGE

Because I love you!

APRIL

I QUIT!!!

April walks into the audition stomping

 

CUT TO:

INT.April’s apartment- Day

One month later. April is sitting at the table looking through her mail when she sees there is a letter from the producer.

She opens it. It says, “Congratulations, you did not get the role”

 

APRIL

(speaking to herself)

How is that congratulations?

April sees on her computer that there’s an email from the producer. It says, “Sorry about our letter, it got cut off. What it is supposed to say is: congratulations you did not get the role you auditioned for but there’s an even better role for a different movie that we decided to give you.” April does a quick squeal and smiles and then closes the email.

End CREDITS

 

The One Ring

MAXIE: 25. Wants solitude and feels content.

ALKEMITE: 23. Wants fame and is feeling greedy. ALKEMITE and MAXIE are polar opposites yet they are brother and sister.

TRITON: 73

COUNT DUKE: 45

Scene 1
They are in a suburb of Europe in woodlands. The year is 2019. ALKEMITE is counting his money. MAXIE is reading.

ALKEMITE

Yessssss, more money sister.
MAXIE (grunting)

More problems for you brother.

ALKEMITE

Just give me that orange ring and I’m fine.

MAXIE

This is bad.

ALKEMITE

I want more money more than everybody else.

MAXIE (under her breath)

I have to trap him so that his spirit can be stuck in the ring forever. My brother drives me crazy.

ALKEMITE

Money and party.

MAXIE

Hey Alkemite! I just saw a million dollar ship right on our back lawn.

ALKEMITE (shouting)

Wow dollars, jackpot, I hit gold!

MAXIE (to the audience)

I rigged the ship. Once he touches it, it will explode.

ALKEMITE

Money, money, money! But wait I should see if it is rigged first

ALKEMITE taps it

ALKEMITE

Booooooooooom!

MAXIE

I got him! Wait he’s coming out. (sighs) This is so embarrassing.

ALKEMITE

Defeating me is harder than it looks M-girl.

MAXIE
Don’t call me that you greed monster!

ALKEMITE

That’s mean but you are right, that’s what I am.

MAXIE

I will have to beat you the hard way.

ALKEMITE

OUCH! SNAP! CRACK! ZOK! POW! YEOW!

MAXIE

Grrrrr.

ALKEMITE

Ahhhhh……..

MAXIE

Finally, but I had to do in even if I don’t want to.

On the floor the orange ring is glowing more than normal for ALKEMITE’s spirit is trapped inside the ring until someone else uses it.

THE END… or is it?

Scene 2: One Year Later
MAXIE is talking to her grandfather outside on the patio over some nice, fresh-squeezed lemonade. The radio is on.
MAXIE

How have you been doing Grandfather?

TRITON

Good. Ever since you trapped that troublemaker Alkemite and stuck him in that ring of yours and put it in the Museum for safekeeping.

MAXIE

I’ve been happy that he is gone. We don’t want him to get out of the ring for he will sell you as a slave.

TRITON

My life has changed tremendously because of you.

An interruption: news on the radio.

RADIO ANNOUNCER

Count Duke has stolen the ring from the Museum of Artifacts!

TRITON

Oh no, Count Duke has stolen the ring from the Museum of Artifacts! That troublemaker robber!

MAXIE

Noooooo, he could use the ring to put my brother in this world. It’s too late, Count Duke has already stolen the ring.

COUNT DUKE enters.

TRITON and MAXIE

Oh no!

COUNT DUKE

Oh yes!

MAXIE

Why did you steal the ring?

COUNT DUKE

Yes, the orange ring. I’ve heard about you and your curse, Alkemite. I stole the ring because I want these amazing powers. I can test it out on my first victim, you!

(beat)

Rise!
The energy fills his body when he slides the ring on and he turns into ALKEMITE.

ALKEMITE

(to himself) Thank you Duke! I can now get revenge on Maxie for putting me in this cursed place.

MAXIE

We have to leave now!

TRITON

Now now, don’t rush your elders, child. I’m only forty-eight years older than you and my reflexes are slow.

MAXIE

Please hurry up so we don’t get…

ALKEMITE

Get what caught?

MAXIE

Don’t make any sudden moves before he decides to blasts us to cinders and Julius Caesar coins.

ALKEMITE

Oh let’s do that, no? That’s more money for me!

TRITON

Maxie, run. Ahhhh…

Clink clink! TRITON transforms into a coin.

MAXIE

Noooo!

TRITON (muffled)

I’m a coin.

ALKEMITE

Let’s scoop up this Triton coin and sell it.

MAXIE

Please don’t.

ALKEMITE

Sorry Miss, nothing personal, just a crazy obsession with money.

MAXIE

Please don’t sell him.

ALKEMITE

I don’t listen to reason. I lack control.

MAXIE

I’ll get you yet, you greedy greedy brother.

ALKEMITE

If you don’t stop me, I will turn the whole world into a massive coin.

MAXIE

No one will want to turn into a coin.

ALKEMITE

I will succeed where my ancestor Midas failed.

MAXIE

Brother Alkemite, the world will not like your choices.

ALKEMITE

I will make them like my choices.

MAXIE

Don’t leave!

ALKEMITE

I have every right to.

ALKEMITE exits.

MAXIE

Why was I so soft? Why?!

Scene 3

540 miles away in Siberia.

ALKEMITE

With my Gold gun I can turn the whole world into a giant coin!

Scene 4

Back in Europe in suburbs.

MAXIE

I must stop him now but Siberia is far away.

MAXIE looks to a gold jet.

Alkermite

Huh I hear something what is that?

MAXIE

It’s me, I’m here.

ALKEMITE

How?

MAXIE

The jet.

ALKEMITE

I’ll just finish you myself.

MAXIE

I will not let you turn this world to gold.

ALKEMITE

I shall succeed for GREED IS KEY.

MAXIE

Even Midas, as possessed as he was, would not do what you have done.

ALKEMITE

You’re right, we should fight for the world. If I win, I get to turn the world to gold. If I lose the world is saved, okay?

MAXIE

Yes okay.

ALKEMITE (firing the beam)

Coming in like hot dollars

Sound effect: clink, clink.

MAXIE (to herself)

I have to expose him!

ALKEMITE

Nuh uh, I don’t think so

The beam intensifies.

MAXIE

Aahhh my arm has been turned into solid gold!

ALKEMITE

Ha ha ha ha!

MAXIE (to herself)

I must reflect his beam at him using my gold arm!

ALKEMITE

Ha ha ha… wait who turned on the lights?! Auggggghhh.

MAXIE

It is done! But wait, why do I still have my arm?

ALKEMITE

Because I am still alive.

MAXIE

You’re going down.

ALKEMITE

Wait I am not possessed by greed anymore.

MAXIE

Are you sure?

ALKEMITE

Test me.

MAXIE puts a coin in front of ALKEMITE and he resists.

MAXIE

Wow, you have changed.

ALKEMITE

I’ll fix Triton.

ALKEMITE fires the beam and Triton turns back into a human.

TRITON

Thanks, my boy.

MAXIE

Triton!

TRITON

I would not be here if it wasn’t for you, Alkemite.

ALKEMITE

Any time, but now it’s time to party!

MAXIE

Not now.

TRITON

Let the lad have his fun. The world is already normal.

ALKEMITE

Come on guys!

MAXIE

The world will need help but for now let’s have some fun.

THE END

The Bachelor of Oz

 

     Scene 1

Emerald City, Oz in Prince Philip’s bedroom.

Town Crier

Wake up Emerald City! It is time for day! Tonight you are all royally invited to the Queen’s ball that her majesty will hold to find an eligible bachelor! Thank you!

Kate

Go! Go! Go!

Philip

Why are we leaving?

Kate

Mom didn’t know I threw a ball for her but now she found out so we have to get out of the house before she finds us.

Philip

This is on you… why do I have to go?

Kate

You know how she gets angry! She will yell at anybody who gets in her way! She doesn’t care who started it. We just have to wait here until it blows over.

Philip

Fine… You owe me though. Why did you even throw a ball for her?

Kate

She needs someone to control her! She is going crazy! Maybe if she had someone to control her she would be more… pleasant to be around.

Philip

Mom is fine the way she is… I don’t care. Get me candy!

Kate

Be quiet. Don’t act stupid in front of great-great-great-great grandma Dorothy.

They stand quietly in front of a statue of Queen Dorothy the Great the savior of Oz. Then they walk away.

Scene 2: The ball

Kate walks into the ballroom. She yawns. It is very late at night.

Lady Monroe

Kate!!

Kate

Uh-oh!

Lady Monroe
I told you never to throw parties without my permission. Do you know how much this will cost?

Kate

There needs to be a king in this Kingdom you can’t just wait for Philip!

Lady Monroe

Yes I can… Yes I… I don’t have to do anything you say!

Lady Monroe walks away.

Kate

Ugh.

The Bachelors line up in front of her.

Kate

These are the eligible bachelors? No. No to all of you.

Philip

It’s not their fault that they don’t look as good as the Philip-meister.

Kate

Oh come on!

Kate walked away and sat on her throne.

Kate

You have got to be kidding me!

Philip

What?

Kate

All the men in Oz that showed up are Munchkins!

Philip

Who cares? I think those Munchkins are some cool dudes.

Kate

If mom gets married with a munchkin, she will be looking down for the whole wedding and anyway, I really don’t think mom wants to marry a Munchkin.

Philip

I don’t think mom wants to marry at all! She’s not ready yet.

Kate

It’s been ten years since dad died! She should be ready. I mean, I’m ready.

Philip

Well she’s not ready.

Scene 3: The next day

Kate walks into Philip’s room.

Kate:

Wake Up! Wake Up!

Philip

Why? The town crier isn’t up yet!

Kate

Look, if we can’t get a good bachelor to come to us, then we have to go to them.

Philip

Yeah… um, what are you saying?

Kate

We need to look for an eligible bachelor.

Philip

Yeah let me think about that… NO! I am not sneaking out again just to get in trouble AGAIN! You see, I am fine with waiting to be king. Unlike you. Anyway, if I go with you you won’t buy me candy so I will stay here thank you!

Kate

Fine. I’ll go by myself.

Philip

Yeah you will!

Kate

Fine… I hope you like it in the dark…

Kate closes the curtains and turns off the lights.

Philip

Fine! I will go with you but you have to buy me…

Kate

No candy! It’s either going with me, or staying in the dark.

Philip

Fine. You win.

Philip and Kate slip past the guards and sneak out the door quietly and start their journey. Kate pulls out a map of Oz.

Kate

So we are here in Emerald City. We don’t want the men from Munchkin Country, Winkie Country, or Gillikin Country. Maybe we could find someone from Quadling Country. Peony the Good Witch’s castle is there.

Philip

Ok, but Peony won’t let us in.

Kate

Who wouldn’t let in the Princess and Prince of Oz?

Philip

Whatever. Let’s go.

Scene 4: Yellow Brick Road

They exit the castle and start following The Yellow Brick Road.

Kate

Follow The Yellow Brick Road, follow the, follow the, follow the, follow the, follow The Yellow Brick Road.

Philip

You still sing that old song?

Kate

Yes. It’s our national song. It’s not old.

Philip

Whatever. So we just follow The Yellow Brick Road to Peony’s?

Kate

Yes. Try not to interact with others on the road. We can’t waste time with other people.

Philip

What if someone is in danger?

Kate

They can save themselves.

Philip

What if a child was abandoned?

Kate

They can go to the nearest town.

Philip

What if-

Kate

Shutup!

Philip

Fine! Fine!

Kate and Philip walk along not saying a word.

Porshia

Help! Help!

Philip

Someone needs our help!

Kate ignores him.

Philip

You might not care, but I won’t leave someone to die.

Philip rushes up to the waterfall to see a villager from Chinatown sinking on a lily pad. He lifts her up and places her on the ground.

Philip

What happened?

Porshia

My friends and I were going to see Peony the Good Witch and we were forced in by a log that was rolling towards the lake when we were on the lake’s edge. We jumped in. I was the only one who managed to hold on the something so I didn’t sink.

She started crying.

Porshia

They’re dead- all of them.

Philip

Say you were going to see Peony?

Porshia

(Sniff) Yes.

Philip

We are too. You can accompany us if you’d like.

Porshia

(Weakly) Okay.

Kate

Exactly! Once again, we waste time!

Philip

Leave her alone.

Kate

Ugh.

Kate and Philip continue their journey.

Scene 5: Peony The Good Witch

Philip, Kate, and Porshia walk up to Peony’s Castle

Kate

Finally! We are here!

Porshia

Yay!

Philip

(sarcastically) Hooray!

Porshia, Kate, and Philip walk up to the castle and knock on the door.

Guard

Who goes there!

Kate

Princess Katherine of Oz, Prince Philip of Oz, and Miss Porshia of Chinatown.

Guard

Your reason for passing?

Philip

To speak with Lady Peony.

Guard

You may pass.

The Guard opens the gate.

Peony

Welcome Miss Katherine, Mister Philip, Miss Porshia.

Kate

Peony The Great we request to send all eligible bachelors from Quadling Country to Emerald City. The Queen wants to marry, and she would like to marry someone from Quadling.

Peony

I shall not send any of my men to Emerald City.

Kate

Why not?

Peony

You do not have a written message from the queen so I do not believe you. However I will be happy to accompany you on your journey. My magic may be of great help to you.

Kate

I am sorry for the inconvenience. We would be happy to have you on our journey.

Philip

So you will take Peony but not Porshia? What about the whole “ Not taking strangers” thing?

Kate

Shutup.

Porshia starts to cry.

Porshia

I’m so sorry! (sniff) (sniff)

Philip

Once again, Kate is the mean one!

Kate

I’m not being mean, I’m being reasonable, unlike you.

Philip

Reasonable? So being reasonable is letting a poor child drown?

Kate

You are so annoying. Just shut your mouth for once!

Philip

Come on Porshia, let’s go.

Philip and Porshia walk on The Yellow Brick Road leading to Winkie Country

Kate

You don’t even know where you are going!

Kate catches up to them.

Kate

We need a plan.

Peony walks up to them.

Peony

Miss Katherine is right. You cannot just walk off.

Porshia

(sniff) I miss my mommy. Please bring me home.

Kate

After we get our work done. We saved you. Be grateful.

Philip

I saved her. You were just standing around.

Kate

What is wrong with you?

Philip

What is wrong with you is the question we should be asking.

Kate

Whatever. We don’t want any men from Munchkin, Gillikin, Winkie, or Quadling country. The only other part of Oz is Emerald City, and no one from there even wants to marry mom since no men from the city cared to show up at her ball.

Peony

Yes, those are all the parts of Oz except for the Ugabu.

Kate

No one lives there and it’s forbidden. No one has ever stepped foot in that place so who knows what is there?

Peony

The thing is that there might be people living there, and remember, this is your last chance.

Kate

Looks like we are on the road then.

Kate, Philip, Porshia, and Peony followed The Yellow Brick Road to Winkie Country.

Scene 6: Winkie Country

Kate

Here we are! Winkie Country!

Porshia

Oh gee, it smells.

Philip

We are near the Marsh.

Porshia

Have you guys got any food?

Kate

No we don’t. If we did we would be feasting on it right now.

Peony

The Stick-in-the-Muds live here, we could get food from them.

Porshia

What if they won’t serve us?

Peony

I think they will serve Peony the Good Witch, The Prince and Princess of Oz, and their small companion.

Porshia

Ok then, what are we waiting for?

The group headed into the Marsh.

Stick-in-the-Mud

Hey! What are you doing here!

Peony

We are here to eat. We have been on a long journey and we are very hungry. Do you mind sparing food for myself, The Good Witch, The Princess of Oz, The Prince of Oz, and their companion?

Stick-in-the-mud

No!

Kate

We won’t leave until we eat. (persuasive) The sooner we eat the sooner we leave. If you don’t feed us we will stay here forever and ever and nag you day after day.

Stick-in-the-mud

Fine. Once you eat you leave.

Peony

I thank you kind sir. You have done a very nice thing for us.

Stick-in-the-mud

Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Keep on moving.

Kate, Philip, Peony, and Porshia walk into the village. The soon head into the dining hall.

Harry

Get out of here! We don’t accept yer kind!

Philip

What, us?

Harry

Nah, that little china girl. We don’t accept the fragile!

Porshia

Where will I go?

Harry

Somewhere where you are accepted, which is not here!

Philip

Let the girl pass!

Harry

I will, but it will cost ya!

Philip

Cost me what?

Harry

If I let her in, you take me to Emerald City.

Kate

Deal.

Harry

You may come in then.

Kate, Philip, Porshia, and Peony walk into the Dining Hall and sit down. They start eating like dogs. Except for Peony. She ate gracefully.

Peony

Thank you for the lovely meal.

Harry

Whatever. Let’s go.

They walk out of the Marsh Village and continue on The Yellow Brick Road.

Scene 7: Off the Yellow Brick Road.

Kate

Here we are. The huge turning point of The Yellow Brick Road. If we keep on following this it will lead us back to Emerald City.

Harry

I thought we were going there. Remember the promise?

Philip

We remember, but first we have to go to the Ugabu.

Harry

The Ugabu? Oh I have been there a million times- I- I- mean I have never been there.

Peony

You are lying. I sense it. You know something nobody in Oz knows.

Harry

What are you talking about? I don’t know anything.

Kate

Tell us. Now!

Harry

Ok fine. The Ugabu has a large magical barrier around it. I touched the barrier and it let me in. I saw a magical castle appear. It was a bright purple and its was as tall as a million giants stacked up on one another. A voice said “ What do you wish?”. At that moment I realized it was the wizard of Oz, or one of his great grandchildren since he probably died already.

Kate

Then we must go to the Ugabu! The wizard’s descendant could be a bachelor!

Porshia

Then let’s go!

They got off The Yellow Brick Road and kept on heading north, to the Ugabu.

Scene 8: The Ugabu

Kate

Here we are, the Ugabu.

Kate reaches her arm out and touches the barrier. Her arm passes through and she walks in. The others follow her. Then they see a huge Purple Castle appear right in front of their eyes.

Philip

Woah!

Porshia

It’s huge!

Peony

Let’s go in.

They walk into the castle and see a large puff of smoke and a face come into shape as the smoke fades.

The Wizard of Oz

I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WIZARD OF OZ!

Harry

We know you are behind the curtain.

The Wizard of Oz

Oh, um, ok.

Kate

Would you like to marry the Queen of Oz?

The Wizard of Oz

Oh….um….I guess.

Peony

Do you or do you not?

The Wizard of Oz

Not really.

Kate

Do you like this knife? It’s a 24 karat emerald dagger… perfect for hunting.

Philip

You’re threatening him?

Kate

I have come too far to fail!

The Wizard of Oz

Ok, ok, I’ll go!

Philip

Ok, then let’s go back to Emerald City.

They go back to The Yellow Brick Road in Winkie Country.

Scene 9: Back to Emerald City

Peony

Ok! Here we are. We have the Wizard and now we will present him to the Queen.

Kate

Ok sure, but we need some people to take a shower and by that I mean Harry.

Harry

Ok fine.

Kate gives Harry her dad’s old clothes to wear and Harry goes into the bathroom.

Philip

I hope mom is happy when he proposes to her.

Kate

I thought you didn’t want mom to get married.

Philip

Yeah but…. now I think that you were right. You made the right decision.

Kate

Thanks a lot Philip. That really means a lot to me.

Harry comes out of the bathroom.

Harry

Ta-da!

Kate

Hey, you look good.

Harry

Well a King should look good shouldn’t he?

Kate

What?

Philip

You’re a king?

Harry

Yeah I’m a king. And your uncle.

Kate

You are our uncle?

Harry

When your mother, my sister, became queen, I escaped to the marsh because I really did not want to be bossed around by my sister. However when your father died, I became King but your mother refused to let me come so now I just want to see her.

Kate

So… you are the king?

Philip

And our mom never told us?

Poshia

That is messed up!

The Wizard of Oz

So you don’t need me?

Kate

I don’t think so.

The Wizard of Oz

Hooray!

Philip

What?

The Wizard of Oz

Sorry, but I really did not want to marry your mom. Later!

The Wizard of Oz walks out the door.

Kate

Well… that went well.

Philip

Whatever… let’s just focus on…um… what exactly are we doing now?

Kate

Well I guess we just bring Harry to mom and see what happens.

They walk into the throne room.

Lady Monroe

Kate!

Kate

(shyly) Uh-huh?

Lady Monroe

How could you sneak out like that???!!! You could have gotten hurt!!!! And you took Peony as your prisoner? Why did you do that?!

Peony

Your highness, she did not take me prisoner. I offered to accompany them.

Lady Monroe

Then how very low of you to do that.

Philip

Mom?

Lady Monroe

What?!

Philip

There is someone you need to meet. Well, see.

Harry steps forward.

Lady Monroe

Harry- is that you?

Harry

It is my dear sister.

Lady Monroe

Why didn’t you come?

Harry

You did not allow me to come.

Lady Monroe

No, I said I did allow you to come.

Harry

Well the guard who sent the message said I was not allowed to come.

Lady Monroe

Then I’m sorry that happened.

Lady Monroe and Harry hug each other.

Scene 10: The Coronation

Lady Monroe

Harry, you must look nice for the coronation.

Harry

I will, I will.

Lady Monroe

Don’t forget that you have to pick a bride today too.

Harry

Fine.

Lady Monroe and Harry walk into the throne room.

Lady Monroe

I declare Harry Edwards the new king of Oz! Now you must choose your bride.

Harry

I will choose Miss Peony, the Good Witch of Oz. She has been very kind to me on this journey and never complained about my stick-in-the-mud smell.

Lady Monroe

Then that declares Miss Peony the Queen of Oz!

Peony gives Harry a kiss.

Harry

As my first declaration of King, I declare Miss Katherine an official Princess of Oz.

Kate

Really?

Harry

Yes.

Kate

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Harry

I also declare Philip The Junior Senator of Oz.

Philip

Cool!

Harry

For the little china girl, I declare her official ambassador of China Town.

Porshia

Jee, thanks!

Harry

And last but not least, my sister. I declare this castle her castle.

Lady Monroe

Thank you.

Harry

Now let’s take the China Girl home!

They all walk out the door Peony casts a spell and it puts them all in huge bubbles and it brings them to Chinatown to retrieve Porshia to her home.

Porshia

Thanks for taking me home.

Peony

My pleasure.

Philip and Kate

Bye Porshia!

Porshia’s bubble touches the ground and pops. She is home safely. The others’ bubbles head back to Emerald City. They soon land and walk into the castle. They sit at the dinner table to eat. Lady Monroe makes a toast.

Lady Monroe

To our new King and Queen!

Everyone

To our new King and Queen!

 

The End

 

Stupid Cow – A Play

 

Scene 1

Setting – A palace and a farm on Mars

 

HAIRY COW

I am a hairy cow

 

CUTE SQUIRREL

Aaah you will never catch us! We will stop you!

 

MARTIAN FARMER  

Oh I’ll catch both of you if it’s the last thing I do! Just let me get my electric pitchfork!

 

CUTE SQUIRREL  

Hold On.

 

HAIRY COW  

I don’t care.

 

MARTIAN FARMER

Oh yes, hold on indeed. I will be back in just a quick second.

 

HAIRY COW  

I need to use the bathroom

 

CUTE SQUIRREL  

I will hurt you! I will put cameras in his house and stalk him!!!

 

CUTE SQUIRREL  (cont.)

Oh no he is back! I am just finished.

 

MARTIAN FARMER  

All right now hold still, let me just knock you out a bit!

 

CUTE SQUIRREL

I will stop him!!!

 

MARTIAN FARMER  

No you can’t! You’re just a useless ratty little pipsqueak squirrel!!!

 

CUTE SQUIRREL

Sasy Gade! Dooo hooo!

 

HAIRY COW  

I want to be killed.

 

CUTE SQUIRREL  

You’re not smart at all!

 

MARTIAN FARMER jabs the cow with the electric pitchfork sending 2000 volts into his body. HAIRY COW faints.

 

CUTE SQUIRREL

I’m going in the barn!

 

He runs to the barn. Farmer runs after him into the barn, but can’t find CUTE SQUIRREL. SQUIRREL stalks him with his stalking device.

 

MARTIAN FARMER  

I will find you, you little rat.

 

CUTE SQUIRREL

Bukbuk!

 

MARTIAN FARMER  

Ha, got you, chicken!

 

HAIRY COW

So this is what it’s like to be dead.

 

CUTE SQUIRREL

You’re not dead.

 

MARTIAN FARMER  

What?!

 

HAIRY COW

Yes I am.

 

CUTE SQUIRREL

No you are not!

 

MARTIAN FARMER  

What?!

 

HAIRY COW

Yes I am!

 

CUTE SQUIRREL

No you are not!

 

MARTIAN FARMER  

Whatever.

 

HAIRY COW

Yeah whatever.

Mystery Characters

Mystery characters:                   CATERPILLAR ALSO PLAYS JHON

 

Hungry caterpillar: is very quiet most of the time, sly and cautious

 

Store Owner: works in pet store wise and old

 

Mr. Myster: one of the chief detectives and doesn’t know who ate the tart. Very equipped and always walks on tip toes.

 

Ms. Melon:  A detective always keeping an EYE on the look out. has a lumpy voice and scared of caterpillars

 

Jhon: Knows he can help but loves to eat everything has blond hair very thin still in college

 

Time Period: Based in the sixties.

Setting(s):

The House

The Store

 

SHOP KEEPER    

 in  old crunchy voice

Behold, behold my beautiful caterpillar.

Very rare, very old can’t be fed till a month is WHOLE

Very small, but worth sacks of gold,

behold behold this beautiful soul!!!

 

MS.MELON

Oh Mamma! Doesn’t that caterpillar look heavenly

 

MR.MYSTER

Well we do have no pets…

 

MS.MELON

Come on now don’t be a pussy cat, it’s almost supper now and I made carrot soup, so if you want that caterpillar, get it now!

 

MR.MYSTER

Alright, shopkeeper, how much do you want for that dang caterpillar!

 

SHOP KEEPER

Oh this is not for sale, oh no its not!…. UNLESS you have ten sacks of gold for this old lot!  (chuckle chuckle)

 

MR.MYSTER

We’re the town sheriffs “sir,” now hand over that caterpillar or else get ready for…

 

SHOP KEEPER

His eyes grow wide.

Oh just take it take it, don’t be afraid. I’m just a old shopkeeper, I will obey.

 

SHOP KEEPER

But don’t forget, and never forget only feed him once in a year! sigh

 

MR.MYSTER

This is such a cute caterpillar

 

MS.MELON

I wonder why that store keeper told us to feed him once in “a year.”

 

MR.MYSTER

Ya, he’s as skinny as a string!

 

MS.MELON

Why do think two “gulp” sheriffs like us are keepin’ this old caterpillar?

 

MR.MYSTER

Stop scaring me with that glass eye of yours, Ms. Melon, you’re giving me the creeps! Back to the subject. We both deserve a caterpillar worth ten sacks of gold!!!

 

MS.MELON

Oh, I really hope we get that rare double choco cream cake to Molly before tomorrow then maybe she’ll give us that rare two dollar bill she promised me. Ya ya.

 

MR.MYSTER

Come on now, nothing will happen to the cream cake, now let’s get back home.

 

SCENE 2

next day

 

MR.MYSTER

Look at that little thing starin’ at the cream cake. Think ur goin’ get little fella huh huh?

 

CATERPILLAR

Meow…

 

MS.MELON

Awwww! It even purrs!

 

MR.MYSTER

Darlin’, when you’re givin that tart to Molls, don’t get it near me. You know I’m allergic to chocolate. And don’t keep it near little rascal over there, he sure looks HUNGRY.

 

CATERPILLAR

Meow…

 

MR.MYSTER

Oh stop purring at me!

 

MS.MELON

Alrighty, now I just need to head to the butcher to grab fresh apples for the fruit bowl. Like you said, ‘don’t let the caterpillar eat it.’ Now the responsibilities are in your hands so don’t let me see a half eaten tart on the table! And darlin’, turn on the AC, it’s awfully hot in here.

 

CATERPILLAR

Meow…

 

MR.MYSTER

You little…

 

SCENE 3

 

  1. MELON

Alright I’m back!

 

CATERPILLAR

Burp!

 

MS.MELON

Mmmmm…David!!!

 

MR.MYSTER

Huh?!

 

MS.MELON

Where’s the tart?!

 

MR.MYSTER

Ummmm…. in the box? Nervous tone

 

MS.MELON

Doesn’t look like that … Shattered voice

 

CATERPILLAR

BURP!!!!

 

MS.MELON

AHHHHH the caterpillar!!! David! Look! You let the caterpillar eat it didn’t you?

MR.MYSTER

Nooooo…?

 

MS.MELON

Come on and take the caterpillar, he’s going back to the store!!! I knew he was bad luck!

 

MR.MYSTER

Well maybe while I was sleeping it…

 

MS.MELON

SLEEPING?!?!

 

MR.MYSTER

Molly might have come and eat it?

 

MS.MELON

You dumb man, now come along this instant!

 

SHOP KEEPER

Welcome, welcome to all you fellows wearing green, blue pink and yellow! How can I help you on this cloudy day? Want a grown butterfly or a cat scratcher chair?

 

MS.MELON

Our caterpillar pal ate our tart! And now I’m rhyming, thanks alot!

 

SHOP KEEPER

You see, you see it wasn’t this caterpillar. I am wise and old it is not Mr. caterpillar!

I see, I see he almost never eats, I know I know it wasn’t him. I am positive! Though I know who ate the treat, you will find out yourselves for treating ME badly…. glance at Mr.Myster.

 

MR.MYSTER

gulp

 

MR.MYSTER

In a nervous tone

Hey, lets go check Molls maybe she did it.

 

MS.MELON

But how could she do it? That’s impossible! It’s her’s anyway so it’s fine if she did! But if the caterpillar did, I am planning to sew that old man’s store!

 

SHOP KEEPER

Well take the caterpillar! Old fellas, it might be worth gold but it is fairly old and it’s not mine so bye bye!

 

MR.MYSTER

Let’s check Jhon, he might have snuck in through that window you left open yesterday,you know he’s an eater!

 

SCENE 4

 

KNOCK KNOCK

 

JHON

Hello?

 

MS.MELON       say very quickly!

Yes, hello, did you happen to eat the choco cream cake? We think it’s the caterpillar but we’re not sure so lets go, it’s not Jhon, it’s not Jhon, now lets go!  

 

MR.MYSTER     Say in proud tone

Wait Jhon, do you know anything about this fishy case here? My wife over here doesn’t seem to know what she’s saying!

 

MS.MELON

Alright, Jhon spill the peas.

 

MR.MYERS

Well he doesn’t need to tell us EVERYTHING.

 

JHON

Alright alright, I might know something about this chocolate cream cake thief. mouth starts watering. Now, when I was eating a strawberry shortcake this afternoon, I saw a figure through your windows it was tall and, uh, was all black because the windows were closed ya know.

 

MS.MELON

Well…The only two people that were in the house at the scene of the crime were the caterpillar and Mr.Myster. Say fast to slow. But it couldn’t be Mr. Myers because he’s allergic to chocolate.

 

SCENE 4

 

CATERPILLAR

MEOW!!!!!

 

MS.MELON

Wait the caterpillar trying to tell me something…

 

JHON:

The caterpillar???

 

MS.MELON

Yes the caterpillar! He might be small but he’s not brainless!

 

MRT.MYSTER

Hey, wanna start heading back? It’s dark and we don’t need that 2DOLLAR bill do we?

 

JHON:

Well it is pretty hopeless now…

 

CATERPILLAR

M…..E……..O………W!!

 

JHON
Hey what’s that thing doin’ up in your hair Mr.Myster?

 

MS.MELON

Ya wait is that…

 

MR.MYSTER                

irritated and extremely cautious and nervous tone!

What? Come on let’s go in it’s getting REALLY dark outside!!

 

JHON

CHOCOLATE???

 

MR.MYSTER

What?? its probably just that old potato you bought yesterday…

 

MS.MELON

I thought you were allergic to chocolate???

 

MR.MYSTER

Ummmm…

 

JHON

Well we’re not positive yet…Hey what’s that in your pocket is that…

 

Ms. MELON John

Cream!!!???

 

Ms.MELON

sniffs the shirt

 

Ms.MELON John

You did it!!

 

MR.MYSTER

No I didn’t.

 

Jhon

You did it we know already!!

 

MR.MYSTER

I didn’t!!

 

Ms.MELON and John

YOU ATE THE CREAM CAKE!!!

 

Jhon

I see the cream in your shirt!

 

Ms.MELON

I see the chocolate in your hair!

 

Ms.MELON  & JHON

IT WAS YOUU!!!

 

Mr. MYSTER   Say in fast voice and powerful voice

I am so very sorry for eating the double chocolate cream cake we promised to give Molly.That day I was just so very stressed and so very hungry, I couldn’t help but take a small bite- very very small small. It just looked so creamy and chocolatey, my mouth couldn’t take it. I do feel especially bad for lying about being allergic to chocolate! Right away when I found out about that cake I needed to make a excuse, fast. But though I felt guilty 3/4s of the time I knew it was worth it. It was worth it! Because it was so good!  Really good!  Creamy and chocolatey! I deserved it. I really never get presents never ever. And you always are the better one, always always! Everyone always liked you better than me. And once I got that gold watch from the mayor for best hair you said I wasn’t worth it and put in a safe that only you could unlock! Heck! Why should I be apologizing to a greedy woman like you, I shouldn’t right forget the apology!

I’m done!

 

HMS Biggles

Setting: A Pub

SCENE 1

NARRATORS 1

Hello good chaps. Welcome to the story of HMS Biggles.

NARRATOR 2

A 50 gun strong ship of the line.

NARRATOR 3

Here we go!

NARRATOR 1

By the way we are the narrators.

THOMAS

Another drink please sir.

BARTENDER

Two shillings.

THOMAS

Here you go.

BARTENDER

Thank you and here is your drink.

THOMAS

You’re welcome.

(Takes sip of his drink)

Thanks for the drink by the way.

BARTENDER

You’re welcome.

LUCAS

How you doing chaps? Could I have a drink too?

BARTENDER

Sure thing mate.

LUCAS

(Breathing in, smelling brandy, scotch, and other drinks all over the place.

Sees a group of strong naval officers.)

Blech.

Evening chaps. Best I be leaving now.

(Starts running. Group of seamen chase)

SCENE 2

NARRATOR 1

We don’t have time to show the rest let’s just say he got caught and that is how he became a captain in the navy.

NARRATOR 2

His ship was H.M.S. Biggles, Lucas is the captain of H.M.S. Biggles.  

NARRATOR 3

A 50 gun ship of the line.

NARRATOR 1

We already said that.

NARRATOR 3

I don’t care.

NARRATOR 2

We need to get on with the story.

NARRATOR 1

I agree.

NARRATOR 3

Me too.

NARRATOR 2

His ship was HMS Biggles, Lucas was the captain.

LUCAS

Welcome to the ship. Now, basically, you need to know this. You’re just a normal sailor. You’re on the HMS Biggles, a 200-man, 50-gun strong ship of the line. You see this?

(pointing to one of the cannons.)

This is a 20 pounder. You will see these a lot. Now, for the grand tour.

Scene 3

NARRATOR 1

I volunteered into the navy to fight, thought James, not to hear some old coop rambling about how to run a ship. Besides, I already know this. My father is a sea captain and my mother’s a nurse on a ship. . still I can’t believe it. Me, James Flynn, a sailor on HMS Biggles, possibly the best ship in Her Majesty’s navy.

He stopped thinking and started paying attention to what Lucas was saying.         

LUCAS

I assume you came to the navy to fight our enemy, the Americans.

JAMES

I am an American, sir. I was born in America, but raised in England, sir.

LUCAS

I see. Aren’t you a bit young to be in the navy? Let me guess, you’re ten.

JAMES

Fifteen, sir.

LUCAS

Doesn’t your mother think you’re a bit young?

JAMES

No sir, my mother doesn’t think I’m too young.

LUCAS

And what of your father? Does he think you’re too young to be at sea?

JAMES

My father’s a sea captain, sir.

Narrator 1

And that was that.

James (posing as lookout)

She’s an American privateer–four guns, fifteen pounder cannons. From the looks of it, around a hundred men. Probably an easy capture.

James (To himself)

Our three hundred and seventy-five-manned and fifty-gun Indiaman could easily destroy a small privateer. Still, though, Lucas apparently wanted to capture it. Strange man. Of course, being as it was a privateer, it probably had lots of loot aboard. Maybe that’s why he chose to capture it. The gunners led the attack with shrapnel rounds, violently shaking the ship everywhere. I nearly fell off. Suddenly, the American ship displayed its royals (it put out its fastest sails) and sped towards us. They might be trying to board. Eventually they got to the side of our ship, cutlesses and pistols ready. Marines on our side rushed to the top of the deck and the captain gave the order to repel boarders.

Narrator 1

They tried to board, and within minutes, what seemed like billions of American corpses  were lining the decks of our ships, killed by the barrage fired from the marines.

Narrator 2

The remaining ones on their ship surrendered and the British took it very easily. In total, the British took 12 prisoners and gained a lot of gold found in the hoard of the enemy’s ship and brought the ship back to a British port. The trip back to the port took a couple days, with our men on board the enemy’s ship driving it.

Narrator 3

They were split in half and there was about a hundred fifty men on each ship. Most of the marines stayed on the enemy ship. At port, we restocked. I took leave. We were at at a British territorial island that had many sailors and marines and houses there, but it wasn’t really much like London, where I grew up. For some of my life.

CHAPTER 6

SHORE LEAVE

Narrator 1

James went to his aunt’s house (apparently she lives there, never knew that), had some lunch, slept there for a night, had breakfast, then went back to the ship. They’d finally finished restocking everything, trading in the gold, and delivering the prisoners to the jail. It was almost time to set sail. James climbed aboard and learned that, due to my helping the captain so much, he was being promoted. Now he was just a rank below midshipman. James felt a sudden tinge of joy. He couldn’t wait to tell Lucas, but Lucas seemed sad when James saw him. He said that it was because the bank there wasn’t able to accept most of the gold and that they`d  have to transport it back to Britain.

James

Well, there’s another adventure. Here we go again.

Scene 7

Narrator 1

James woke up with a start.

Narrator 2

He was on his way to England.

Narrator 3

But the door to his room had been slammed open.

Narrator 1

It was Lucas.

Lucas

James! Wake up, wake up! Come and see this.

Narrator 2

There was a small American ship that looked like a tugboat, slowly steaming towards them.

Lucas

Help me wake up everyone on the ship.

James

I’ll climb up and ring the bell that’ll wake up everybody.

Narrator 3

Indeed it did.

Narrator 1

Soon the American tug boat was captured.

Narrator 2

They gained six prisoners.

Narrator 3

They arrived at England shortly after.  

Narrator 1

They had a jolly good time. And James became a rich man from his pay from the navy.

Narrator 2

Years later he became the captain of HMS Biggles after Lucas died in battle.

Narrator 3

But that is a tale for a different time.

Narrator 1

See you next time.

all

The End.

 

Gods and Goddesses

Characters:

ATHENA: War, wise    

ARES: God of war

ZEUS: King of all god

HERA: Queen

HADES: Lord of the dead

APHRODITE: goddess of love

ACHILLES JR.: Achilles’ son, shy

The three Fates: CLOTHO, LACHESIS, and ATROPOS

Scene One

ATHENA and APHRODITE are in a fight over who is the most beautiful. It got so big ATHENA and APHRODITE started a war with the gods. They are in elementary school. ARES, APOLLO, ARTEMIS and their mother are on APHRODITE’s side. Everyone else is on ATHENA’s side. ZEUS and ACHILLES JR. are neutral.

At the school. In the gym during gym class. All the characters are there except ZEUS and ACHILLES JR. They are playing soccer. APHRODITE and ATHENA are the team captain choosing the people on their team.

APHRODITE

Ares!

 

ATHENA

Hermes.

 

APHRODITE

Artemis.

 

ATHENA

Hera.

 

APHRODITE

Apollo.

 

ATHENA

Poseidon.

 

APHRODITE

Leto.

 

They start playing.

 

ARES

You’re gonna lose!

 

ATHENA

We’re gonna win!

 

ARTEMIS passes the ball to ARES. ARES gets the ball and scores.

HERA passes the ball to ATHENA. ATHENA scores.

 

GYM TEACHER

Five minutes left!

 

HERA scores. They cheer.

 

GYM TEACHER

One minute left.

 

ARES scores for APHRODITE’s team. They go into overtime until the last minute of school. The game lasted 24 hours. HERA falls asleep in the middle of the floor. APHRODITE scores. Her team wins three to two.

It’s already the next day and they have art. ZEUS and ACHILLES JR. also in art class. ACHILLES JR. is painting like a normal person. ARES punches HERA in the face. She tries to punch him in the face, but she misses. APHRODITE uses her intoxicating perfume to make the teacher faint. HERA comes up to her and APHRODITE punches HERA in the face. HERA falls down bloody.

 

HERA

I hate everyone.

 

ZEUS

Well we shouldn’t say mean things!

 

ARES

We should have a war, Hera. I’ll send you to Hades!

 

ATHENA

Having a war is not wise.

 

HERA

Who do you think you are Aphrodite!

 

APHRODITE

Goddess of beauty and love!

 

ACHILLES JR. is going home to get his lunch, which he forgot. He is walking through the woods near the school. POSEIDON kills ACHILLES JR. by throwing his trident in his heel.

POSEIDON runs away to Mount Olympus.

The three Fates, CLOTHO, LACHESIS, and ATROPOS are on the end of the earth. They cut the string. See ACHILLES JR. with blood gushing out of his heel.  

 

HERA

Oh no! ACHILLES JR. is badly hurt.

 

APHRODITE

Whatever, he’s not even beautiful.

 

ATHENA

We don’t want any more mortals to get badly hurt!

 

ARES

Okay. I don’t want to drain all my powers for this little fight.

 

HERA

Little fight? This was the biggest fight ever!

 

The End

Jack and She-Jack and Shredder

EXTERIOR: PARK, NIGHT

 

Shredder: So who do you want to mess with?

 

JACK, who looks like an eagle with white wings because he liked eagles. He had diamond armor on. He is a bad guy. SHREDDER wants to kill him. SHREDDER has claws and he pulls them out and tries to snap him. He punches his claws into JACK, but the diamond armor saves him.

 

JACK does a backflip and kicks SHREDDER right in his tush. SHREDDER goes flying out and hits himself on the back and then suddenly Jack runs, runs, runs, does a front flip ten times, jumps on a giant MARACA, picks it up.

 

JACK: Wahhhh!!

 

He slams it on SHREDDER’S head. But SHREDDER has silver armor, which isn’t as good as diamond armor but still good. So he’s still alive, and cracks his head a little. Then, suddenly, his mask pops off. He looks in the mirror and goes:

 

Shredder: What did you do to me? You made me have a wide bloody eye and half of my face is messed up.

 

SHREDDER then jumps off and and takes the mirror and says,

 

Shredder: Look at my face. What does it look like?

 

He attacks JACK, JACK backflips and dodges it. He picks up a giant wristband and tries to cut SHREDDER’s head off but it doesn’t work because his head is made of metal!

 

Pedestrian: Ohhhhhh!

 

INTERIOR, COURT: DAY

 

JACK and SHREDDER are in court.

 

Jack: He tried to kill me!

 

Shredder is slammed into a cell.

 

Shredder: Noooo! I Will come back for you in seventy years!!!!!

 

Seventy Years Later…

 

EXTERIOR – JAIL HOUSE, DAY

 

The police guards give SHREDDER all of his weapons, clothes, food, and water back to him.

Then SHREDDER gets out of jail. He starts walking down the street. As he walks he sees JACK on the sidewalk on his right. He follows JACK.

 

JACK senses him with his eagle sense.

 

Then JACK does a backflip right behind him! He tries to stab him with his golden sword. But then, the SHREDDER suddenly notices him doing a backflip and then moves! Then JACK super speeds all the way in front of him and tries to stab again, because he knew the SHREDDER was going to try to kill JACK!

 

SHREDDER did not kill JACK. But they walked away and had a fight – in TEXAS!

 

EXTERIOR – TEXAS, NIGHT

 

We are in the desert. They have a big duel to see who see who kills who. At dawn they will take ten paces and then turn around and try to shoot the other person. Whoever is the slowest, may lose and die.

 

SHREDDER cheats, and counts 1-2-3-BANG! But SHREDDER doesn’t have diamond armor, but JACK does. It takes 3 shots to kill him. It takes two shots to kill SHREDDER.

 

Shredder: Oh, this should have killed him…

 

[Voice over of Screenwriter]

 

Screenwriter: This is a story about…wait-wait-wait wait a second!  We’re almost at the end of this story. Okay, let’s get this over with! This is the illustrator, his name is Adi.

 

Illustrator: Let’s just end this right now.

 

Screenwriter: Oh sure, let’s do this.

 

Illustrator and Screenwriter:  THE END

Roman Play

CAST

Norbert the Nerd/Narrator

Wolf Friend

Baby Romulus

Baby Remus

Lupa

 

ACT I

SCENE I

Norbert: The story starts long ago in a place that would soon become Rome. Oh, look! There’s Romulus and Remus, brothers and founders of Rome. Dar dar dar, I’m a big stinky nerd.

Lupa: Oh look, why are there babies floating down the rivers? How odd. I should go investigate.  (Travel down to the river and pick up babies). My, my! Baby brothers! I must raise them!

Wolf Friend: Hi, Lupa! Are those babies you’ve got there?

Lupa: Sure are! Found them floating down the river! Odd, isn’t it?

Wolf Friend: That IS odd. Are you going to keep them?

Lupa: Yup.

Wolf Friend: ‘Kay. So what are you going to name them?

Lupa: Name them?

Wolf Friend: Yeah, name them.  If you keep them, you’ve got to name them!

Baby Romulus: (Gurgle) Romulus.

Baby Remus: (Gurgle) Remus.

Lupa: That’s it! Romulus and Remus!

Wolf Friend: How will you tell Remus and Romulus apart?

Lupa: Hmmm… I know! I will always dress Remus in green, and Romulus in blue!

Wolf Friend: What will you clothe them in?

Lupa: Good ol’ fashioned togas!

Wolf Friend: Great idea! See you at the wolf party tonight! (Leave)

Lupa: (Leave)

Norbert: The young Remus and Romulus grew up to young men very soon. They decided they would build a great city that would be around for generations to come. Dar dar dar I’m a fluff brain nerd!