GOD DIARIES: Diary of the Messenger Boy


June 24, 2017

I know people think it must be great being Zeus’s son and messenger, but it’s not what you think it is. I was such a big loser back in middle school compared to all the other gods around the world.

First off, everyone thinks I have it so easy because my dad’s the head of the gods, and secondly, we already live in Greece, so I do not have to commute to school. It’s not my fault. They could have built the school in Egypt or Mexico, but no, they decided to plop the school right where I live. Anyway, I attend Cloud Academy, and there are some hot goddesses who attend. My favorite is Athena, the Goddess of Protection. She is awesome. The problem is, she’s dating my big brother, the hero Hercules, who is the second best known god. He has big muscles and is a famous movie star down below heaven. So, unfortunately, Athena is not going to go out with me. All the other god girls think I am a loser because I am smaller and weaker than Hercules. To make matters worse, my best friend, Apollo, is an amazing singer and jams the lyra with so much skill. All the goddesses love him.


June 25, 2017

I have one day before school starts to purchase all my school supplies. I did not want to work as a messenger today, so I begged my dad for the day off. Of course he said no, so I went to my mom, Hera, the Queen of Heaven, and she gave me lots of money and advised me not to mind my dad. I love my mom. She’s the best.

So, I headed off to the market to purchase my school supplies. I wanted sassy new togas, hoping the goddesses would notice me. I decided that I was going to give up on Athena this year and focus on the new goddesses at my school. I decided that I had to visit the top store called Style for Godboys. I decided to purchase something that was not on sale and was limited edition in order to stand out. Okay, there were shoes with gold feather wings and a gold cap with silver wings. Ohhhhhh my god, there was a toga with a gold belt and thunderbolt on it. I placed them in my cart. The total was 100 drachmas which was not so bad because I am rich. I need a new sporty backpack, so I headed to the Nike store. I looked at the shelf, but none of the backpacks were good enough. Then, I saw the backpack of my dreams. It was silver with aquamarine wings made out of blue jay feathers and a solid gold zipper. The coolest part were the magic buttons attached that opened different compartments at my command. For example, if I pushed the lunchbox button, my lunchbox would emerge from the bottom of the backpack. It was a limited edition which means it is the only one available. Even though it was going to cost me an arm and a leg, I happily handed all the money in my possession to the salesgirl. I noticed that she had the same multicolored gemstone necklace that Athena wore, but it wasn’t Athena. She looked a bit older, but no less beautiful.

“Do you know Athena?” I asked.

“Yeah. I’m her big sister. Why?”

“Uhm, just asking,” I quickly replied.

As I was leaving the store, I knew this was my chance at love. Only this time, not with Athena, but with her sister. I was like a little machine, moving as fast as a moving crumb as I left the store.


June 26, 2017

Well, today was the first day of school! The second I took my first step entering school, I saw “the one.” I was getting it all wrong. It wasn’t Athena or her big sister. Not even close. From across the hallway, I saw a messenger goddess from Egypt. She wore a golden cloak dress. She was the daughter of Horus, and she was as pretty as her mother Hathor, the Goddess of Love. She wore the bracelet of the 42 stars which her mother must have given her. There was no godboy in sight, so this was my chance, but the bell rang, and we all had to get to class. I was crushed at my lost opportunity.

Then, my luck came back. My first class was math, and to my surprise, she sat right in front of me. I could see the wing clips that were on the side of her hair. I could feel her silky soft hair. She passed papers down and asked what my name was. Part of me wanted to make a run for it because I was so nervous, but once I glanced at her dreamy brown eyes, I knew I couldn’t.

“My name is Hermes,” I said, my voice shaking.

“Wow, what a cool name. I like it,” she said, smiling. “I’m Harmony.”

Before I could respond, our teacher interrupted and requested for us to sit. She had an announcement to make.

“Class,” Mrs. Nut exclaimed. “There is a fall dance coming up in two weeks. Start thinking about who you would like to ask.”

My heart skipped a beat. I knew exactly who I was going to ask.


June 27, 2017

My buddy Apollo came over after school today. I told my mom that we were going to do some homework, but actually, we needed to talk about the dance.

“Dude, I’m going to ask Athena to the dance because she just dumped Hercules.”

I could tell by the look on Apollo’s face that he thought he was going to make me mad. But he didn’t. He was not aware that I had somebody else in mind. As we were chatting, I fetched some snacks. I got two soda pops, cheese puffs, cookies, and two giant gummy bears. I asked my mom if Apollo could spend the night. Of course, she said yes. I took him downstairs to my room and gave him a tour. I have a big hot tub in the middle of my room with two cloud beds which are next to each other. One bed used to belong to my big brother, Hercules, but he moved out. There is a desk with a lamp next to the beds, and there is a huge TV with a mini snack bar. My sofa is near the hot tub, and my closet is next to the small library located in the corner of the room. A tower of CDs and DVDs stood next to the sofa. Did I mention I have an awesome, spacious bathroom.

I looked through my silk PJ’s, grabbed a pair of luxurious blue pajamas, and handed them to Apollo with some fluffy sheepskin blue slippers, so he can get ready for bed.

“Woah, your ceiling looks like an observatory! It’s so cool!”

“It is an observatory!” I exclaimed. I grabbed my remote control and switched the setting to seven.

Switch one- on

Switch two- off

Switch three- disco lights

Switch four- heater

Switch five- AC

Switch six- day light

Switch seven- space

The lights went out, and stars lit bright in the sky.

“Want some popcorn, dude?”

“Yeah, totally.”

“Lightning!” I called to my aquamarine parrot. “Go fetch us some popcorn.”

“Your parrot gets popcorn?!” Apollo was shocked.

“Of course,” I said. “My dad made him out of clouds, just for me.”

“Wow. You have the coolest life, Hermes.”

“I know! When my brother was born, my dad made him a horse with wings the size of a fly, also made of clouds.”


June 28, 2017

One day until the dance, and there is no way I am attending school. I have to plan how to arrive in style. I told my mom that my back is sore and that Apollo had a headache. Well, that did the trick! The first thing we did was call up the limo rental.

We ordered a diamond express which is the top limo. We called the flower shop and ordered the most expensive corsages and two of the finest boxes of Swiss Belgian chocolate. Then, we visited the tailor shop and decided what we were going to wear.

“We want to see your most expensive tuxedos!” I advised the sales clerk and added, “Money is not an object.”

Apollo and I tried on suit after suit until we decided which one fit the best. I went with the golden silk tuxedo with diamond buttons. Apollo chose a simple suit (but still expensive — because, duh, it’s us).

At 6:00 p.m., Apollo and I pulled up in front of Harmony’s house and walked to the door. “I’m feeling kind of nervous, man. I really like this girl.”

“Just be yourself, and everything will go fine.”

“I don’t know. She seems different than the other girls and more serious.”

I rang the bell and moments later. Harmony’s mom, Hathor, answered it. “Oh hello, boys. You must be Hermes. Harmony will be down in a minute. Such fancy tuxedos for such young men.”

“Our tuxes should be fancy,” I announced. “Only a billionaire could afford them.”

Hathor rolled her eyes, and that’s when Harmony came down the stairs. She glanced at me with a puzzled look and made me nervous. Maybe she didn’t like my tux, or maybe she did not like me? I started to perspire and felt my face turn bright red by the second.

“Hi, Hermes.”

“Hi, Harmony. You look beautiful.”

“Uh, thanks. You look, uhm, overdressed. It’s just a dance, not a wedding.”

I felt embarrassed and awkward during our ride to pick up Apollo’s date.

At 7:00 p.m., we arrived at the dance, and Harmony didn’t say one word about the fancy limo, flowers, or chocolate. She was not rude or anything. She said thank you. I can tell she was not impressed. We entered the room and got a table for dinner.

I went to get soda and pizza for us, and LuLu the baby DJ said, “All of you love birds, come over here, and start dancing.”

I was hoping for a dance. I reached for her hand, and we started dancing.

“I’m having a really nice time,” Harmony said.

“So am I,” I said. “You should be my girlfriend, and I will buy you everything that you ever dreamed of.”

Harmony stopped dancing all of the sudden and stared at me with a puzzled look. “Things do not make me happy, Hermes. It’s what comes from inside. I do not care about the things you bought me tonight. What I like is how much effort you put into trying to make me happy. It’s the thought that matters, not the material things.”

I have never heard anyone say this before. Harmony seemed to just like me for being myself and not for my money. That was the best feeling in the world! I thought to myself, Maybe she’s right. Maybe I do focus too much on material things. “You’re a great guy, Hermes. You should save your money or donate it, but please don’t spend it on me. What matters is your heart.”

I kissed her on the cheek, and she blushed. We held hands and danced until nightfall. I had never been so happy.


July 28, 2017

One month later…

I’m getting ready to help Harmony distribute food at the homeless shelter. We have been volunteering every weekend since the dance. Since that magical night, I have become a caring and generous individual. I have not been shopping, and I spend my time helping Harmony with community work. I found this to be fulfilling. I even donated my disco clothes to members of our community who cannot afford sparkly outfits. I have much respect for Harmony, and we have decided to be friends and focus on doing good for the community and in our studies. Secretly, I am hoping that one day she’ll be my girlfriend. But she’s right, there’s plenty of time for that. I’ve never felt better. I kind of secretly wish for big muscles and to be famous like my big jerk brother, Hercules.

The End


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