Tacos, Part 1

Once there was a taco named Bill. He was a happy taco until the enchilado army took control of Taco Square Central.

But Bill said, “You can’t just take over Taco Central!”

“I just did,” said Enchilado General 1.

“Move it, Bill,” said Enchilado General 2.

“Fine,” said Bill with a sigh. Bill thought about what just happened. “I know!” said Bill, and he got right to work, and in the morning he had a robot.

Then, he took the robot to the enchilado army, but they killed him. But then, two tacos came out of Bill. Bill just discovered the taco secret.

Then the Enchilado General 1 said, “You’re a freak, so I’ll burn you. Boy you so fat, when you go on an elevator, you have to go down.”

“Don’t you dare say a burn to a taco,” said Bill.

“I just did,” said General 1.

“Robot attack!!” said Bill, and then the robots kicked the enchiladas one by one until only Generals 1 and 2 were left.

And then General 1 said, “That robot’s a freak! Get out of here!”

Then, Bill used the chomp taco secret, and then General 1 got gobbled up by a big chomp of a baby’s mouth. And that shut him up.


Bill walked with his robot back to his house in Taco Central. And when he was walking, some of the enchiladas were running in fear, and some of his best friends were giving him dirty looks. Bill ran straight into his garage, and he dismantled the robot code 1528. Then, he went outside in a disguise. And he went to the enchilada army.

A whole crowd of enchiladas came and said, “I want his skull! Kill him! I got a pitch fork in your head!”

Then, he ran straight back into his house and turned on the robot with the same code he used to turn it off and dismantle it. Bill upgraded it with laser eyes. But he found someone doing a little work on it. He was a baby.

Bill picked up the taco, gave it some milk, and said, “Go inside the machine,” in baby language. “Go inside the robot,” said Bill, and it followed the command.

Then, the robot turned into a baby inside a laser eyes robot.

The baby flew with the robot to the enchilada crowd outside that was getting really angry now and banging up his house. It accidentally used its laser eyes on them, and they turned crisp black into a pile of ashes. And then, the baby cried and wailed because he turned them into a pile of dust. So Bill had to get the baby out of the robot and inside, so he would get him to stop crying in public. His wish came true. The baby taco stopped crying. Bill told the baby everything about what the enchilada army was doing, but then something happened: a portal opened and a donut took him and the baby into the portal and then, in a couple of seconds, they were in Donut Land.

“Where are we?” Bill asked the donut who brought him there.

The donut said, “I live here. This is Donut Land.”

“Can you show me around?” said Bill.

“Okay,” said the donut. Then, they started walking up a hill and into Super Cake Donut Hill.

Bill said, “Can I eat some of it?”

“Only a little bit,” said the donut. “We’re not allowed to eat it.”

“Are you an outcast?” asked Bill.

“Of course,” said the donut. “Some of us are outcasts here. You want to be an outcast? Or be regular?”

“Regular,” said Bill.


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