Mystery characters: CATERPILLAR ALSO PLAYS JHON
Hungry caterpillar: is very quiet most of the time, sly and cautious
Store Owner: works in pet store wise and old
Mr. Myster: one of the chief detectives and doesn’t know who ate the tart. Very equipped and always walks on tip toes.
Ms. Melon: A detective always keeping an EYE on the look out. has a lumpy voice and scared of caterpillars
Jhon: Knows he can help but loves to eat everything has blond hair very thin still in college
Time Period: Based in the sixties.
Setting(s):
The House
The Store
SHOP KEEPER
in old crunchy voice
Behold, behold my beautiful caterpillar.
Very rare, very old can’t be fed till a month is WHOLE
Very small, but worth sacks of gold,
behold behold this beautiful soul!!!
MS.MELON
Oh Mamma! Doesn’t that caterpillar look heavenly
MR.MYSTER
Well we do have no pets…
MS.MELON
Come on now don’t be a pussy cat, it’s almost supper now and I made carrot soup, so if you want that caterpillar, get it now!
MR.MYSTER
Alright, shopkeeper, how much do you want for that dang caterpillar!
SHOP KEEPER
Oh this is not for sale, oh no its not!…. UNLESS you have ten sacks of gold for this old lot! (chuckle chuckle)
MR.MYSTER
We’re the town sheriffs “sir,” now hand over that caterpillar or else get ready for…
SHOP KEEPER
His eyes grow wide.
Oh just take it take it, don’t be afraid. I’m just a old shopkeeper, I will obey.
SHOP KEEPER
But don’t forget, and never forget only feed him once in a year! sigh
MR.MYSTER
This is such a cute caterpillar
MS.MELON
I wonder why that store keeper told us to feed him once in “a year.”
MR.MYSTER
Ya, he’s as skinny as a string!
MS.MELON
Why do think two “gulp” sheriffs like us are keepin’ this old caterpillar?
MR.MYSTER
Stop scaring me with that glass eye of yours, Ms. Melon, you’re giving me the creeps! Back to the subject. We both deserve a caterpillar worth ten sacks of gold!!!
MS.MELON
Oh, I really hope we get that rare double choco cream cake to Molly before tomorrow then maybe she’ll give us that rare two dollar bill she promised me. Ya ya.
MR.MYSTER
Come on now, nothing will happen to the cream cake, now let’s get back home.
SCENE 2
next day
MR.MYSTER
Look at that little thing starin’ at the cream cake. Think ur goin’ get little fella huh huh?
CATERPILLAR
Meow…
MS.MELON
Awwww! It even purrs!
MR.MYSTER
Darlin’, when you’re givin that tart to Molls, don’t get it near me. You know I’m allergic to chocolate. And don’t keep it near little rascal over there, he sure looks HUNGRY.
CATERPILLAR
Meow…
MR.MYSTER
Oh stop purring at me!
MS.MELON
Alrighty, now I just need to head to the butcher to grab fresh apples for the fruit bowl. Like you said, ‘don’t let the caterpillar eat it.’ Now the responsibilities are in your hands so don’t let me see a half eaten tart on the table! And darlin’, turn on the AC, it’s awfully hot in here.
CATERPILLAR
Meow…
MR.MYSTER
You little…
SCENE 3
- MELON
Alright I’m back!
CATERPILLAR
Burp!
MS.MELON
Mmmmm…David!!!
MR.MYSTER
Huh?!
MS.MELON
Where’s the tart?!
MR.MYSTER
Ummmm…. in the box? Nervous tone
MS.MELON
Doesn’t look like that … Shattered voice
CATERPILLAR
BURP!!!!
MS.MELON
AHHHHH the caterpillar!!! David! Look! You let the caterpillar eat it didn’t you?
MR.MYSTER
Nooooo…?
MS.MELON
Come on and take the caterpillar, he’s going back to the store!!! I knew he was bad luck!
MR.MYSTER
Well maybe while I was sleeping it…
MS.MELON
SLEEPING?!?!
MR.MYSTER
Molly might have come and eat it?
MS.MELON
You dumb man, now come along this instant!
SHOP KEEPER
Welcome, welcome to all you fellows wearing green, blue pink and yellow! How can I help you on this cloudy day? Want a grown butterfly or a cat scratcher chair?
MS.MELON
Our caterpillar pal ate our tart! And now I’m rhyming, thanks alot!
SHOP KEEPER
You see, you see it wasn’t this caterpillar. I am wise and old it is not Mr. caterpillar!
I see, I see he almost never eats, I know I know it wasn’t him. I am positive! Though I know who ate the treat, you will find out yourselves for treating ME badly…. glance at Mr.Myster.
MR.MYSTER
gulp
MR.MYSTER
In a nervous tone
Hey, lets go check Molls maybe she did it.
MS.MELON
But how could she do it? That’s impossible! It’s her’s anyway so it’s fine if she did! But if the caterpillar did, I am planning to sew that old man’s store!
SHOP KEEPER
Well take the caterpillar! Old fellas, it might be worth gold but it is fairly old and it’s not mine so bye bye!
MR.MYSTER
Let’s check Jhon, he might have snuck in through that window you left open yesterday,you know he’s an eater!
SCENE 4
KNOCK KNOCK
JHON
Hello?
MS.MELON say very quickly!
Yes, hello, did you happen to eat the choco cream cake? We think it’s the caterpillar but we’re not sure so lets go, it’s not Jhon, it’s not Jhon, now lets go!
MR.MYSTER Say in proud tone
Wait Jhon, do you know anything about this fishy case here? My wife over here doesn’t seem to know what she’s saying!
MS.MELON
Alright, Jhon spill the peas.
MR.MYERS
Well he doesn’t need to tell us EVERYTHING.
JHON
Alright alright, I might know something about this chocolate cream cake thief. mouth starts watering. Now, when I was eating a strawberry shortcake this afternoon, I saw a figure through your windows it was tall and, uh, was all black because the windows were closed ya know.
MS.MELON
Well…The only two people that were in the house at the scene of the crime were the caterpillar and Mr.Myster. Say fast to slow. But it couldn’t be Mr. Myers because he’s allergic to chocolate.
SCENE 4
CATERPILLAR
MEOW!!!!!
MS.MELON
Wait the caterpillar trying to tell me something…
JHON:
The caterpillar???
MS.MELON
Yes the caterpillar! He might be small but he’s not brainless!
MRT.MYSTER
Hey, wanna start heading back? It’s dark and we don’t need that 2DOLLAR bill do we?
JHON:
Well it is pretty hopeless now…
CATERPILLAR
M…..E……..O………W!!
JHON
Hey what’s that thing doin’ up in your hair Mr.Myster?
MS.MELON
Ya wait is that…
MR.MYSTER
irritated and extremely cautious and nervous tone!
What? Come on let’s go in it’s getting REALLY dark outside!!
JHON
CHOCOLATE???
MR.MYSTER
What?? its probably just that old potato you bought yesterday…
MS.MELON
I thought you were allergic to chocolate???
MR.MYSTER
Ummmm…
JHON
Well we’re not positive yet…Hey what’s that in your pocket is that…
Ms. MELON John
Cream!!!???
Ms.MELON
sniffs the shirt
Ms.MELON John
You did it!!
MR.MYSTER
No I didn’t.
Jhon
You did it we know already!!
MR.MYSTER
I didn’t!!
Ms.MELON and John
YOU ATE THE CREAM CAKE!!!
Jhon
I see the cream in your shirt!
Ms.MELON
I see the chocolate in your hair!
Ms.MELON & JHON
IT WAS YOUU!!!
Mr. MYSTER Say in fast voice and powerful voice
I am so very sorry for eating the double chocolate cream cake we promised to give Molly.That day I was just so very stressed and so very hungry, I couldn’t help but take a small bite- very very small small. It just looked so creamy and chocolatey, my mouth couldn’t take it. I do feel especially bad for lying about being allergic to chocolate! Right away when I found out about that cake I needed to make a excuse, fast. But though I felt guilty 3/4s of the time I knew it was worth it. It was worth it! Because it was so good! Really good! Creamy and chocolatey! I deserved it. I really never get presents never ever. And you always are the better one, always always! Everyone always liked you better than me. And once I got that gold watch from the mayor for best hair you said I wasn’t worth it and put in a safe that only you could unlock! Heck! Why should I be apologizing to a greedy woman like you, I shouldn’t right forget the apology!
I’m done!