Characters:
PURPLE, purple shirt, 9 years old
SNAKES, snakes shirt, 10 years old
STAR WARS, star wars shirt, 11 years old
Actors should wear oversized t-shirts.
SETTING: behind a dresser in a bedroom
Scene 1
PURPLE is behind the dresser.
PURPLE
Yo, Snakes!
Snakes enters.
SNAKES
(clearly sad)
What?
PURPLE
(not noticing)
Boss wore me again! He loves me!
STAR WARS enters.
STAR WARS
For the 1,000,000th time and counting.
PURPLE
(looks hurt)
What do you mean?
SNAKES/STAR WARS
Don’t play dumb with me!
SNAKES
Jinx!
PURPLE runs towards STAR WARS.
STAR WARS gets out of the way.
STAR WARS
Whoa, easy now.
But PURPLE is on a roll.
He charges.
SNAKES
(dodging him)
Ahhhhh!
But PURPLE keeps running, and runs off…
SNAKES suddenly turns around
STAR WARS
You know, he used to wear me.
SNAKES
Oh no! Winter break is starting soon!
STAR WARS and SNAKES
(singing)
Oh yess, coming soon is winter breeak
Boss and Purple will be skating on a frozen lake
Oh no. We won’t go. So sad.
I’m mad. Not glad.
STAR WARS and SNAKES look at their watches and then look up.
SNAKES
It’s in two minutes and 45 seconds!
PURPLE runs on.
PURPLE
Ahh, back from winter break.
SNAKES
We got left here. Boss brought only you. I’m just a hand-me-down. Boss’s cousin used to wear me everywhere! I want a chance to be worn again.
STAR WARS
He used to go swimming with me, I’d get all wet and then I’d get to go on the great big amusement park ride… known as the… WASHING MACHINE!
You’d think Boss would have chosen MULTIPLE CLOTHING CHOICES!
PURPLE
He did! He brought Mr. Socks and the Jeans!
STAR WARS
I mean multiple shirt choices.
PURPLE
(face falls)
Ohhh!
STAR WARS
In yo face!
PURPLE
I don’t even have a face.
PURPLE exits.
SNAKES
We have to do ssssomething about Purple.
STAR WARS
Boss got this new Dash Robot.
They whisper-form a plan.
SNAKES
Dassssh is sssso heavy, he’ll get sssstuck under him!
SNAKES and STAR WARS run and hide in the corner.
PURPLE dances back on while singing.
PURPLE
(singing)
Oh, Boss always wears me. Oh, life is so fine.
Oh, I’m his favorite everytime.
Oh, yeah! It’s an honor. Life is so good.
I’m not a jacket, so I don’t have a hood.
PURPLE
I’m back…
SNAKES leaps out of the corner holding Dash. Dash is a little toy robot.
PURPLE
What the?
SNAKES covers PURPLE with Dash.
STAR WARS comes in and they run off stage.
PURPLE
Help!
Scene 5
SNAKES get shoved back into the room.
SNAKES
No!
STAR WARS
Boss is wearing me!
PURPLE
Help!
SNAKES
No!
STAR WARS runs off.
SNAKES follows.
PURPLE
Grow me hands, self.
PURPLE grows hands.
PURPLE pushes Dash the Robot off and runs off stage.
Scene 6
STAR WARS enters. SNAKES too. They seem to be discussing something.
STAR WARS
Boss wore Purple again. He can’t stop like Palpatine can’t stop the good guys from winning.
Carmina Burana plays.
PURPLE enters.
PURPLE
Actually I’m tired of doing it, but it’s an honor.
STAR WARS/SNAKES
Please stop. Please stop. Please stop.
STAR WARS
Wear me!
SNAKES
A sssschedule.
SNAKES sings “To be Worn”
SNAKES
Oh, I wish that I, me, finally,
Would be worn! Yes I know!
Purple is better but so am I!
I want to be worn in every weather.
To be worn. It would be an honor.
Yesss it would, oh it would.
STAR WARS
No, yes, a schedule. Amazing.
To be worn! yeah!!!
PURPLE
Okay.
Scene 7
STAR WARS
So, yeah, we got a schedule.
PURPLE
And Boss likes us equally.
SNAKES
So that’s it. The end!
Voice from behind the scenes:
ORANGE
Hi, I’m the new orange shirt. Boss loves me.
All groan
End of Play