This has been translated from Marshmallowian by The Institute of Marshmallow and English. Except from some parts with a * on either side of it.

One day, on Meatball Land, there was a big enormous explosion from the meatball volcano. On Meatball Land, everyone is a marshmallow and they only eat meatballs. On the day when the explosion happened, all of the tiny marsh-villages got covered completely in meatballs and tomato sauce. The marshmallows had to evacuate before all of the land got covered!!! They had to think of a way out. Maybe they could dig a tunnel to the unknown Cow Land. That’s how it all started.

Chapter Numero Uno

My name is Bart, Bart DeFulletgrominu van Grickenshpein. I am a Jumbo Marshmallow. I am the richest on all of Meatball Land! Right now, my loyal servants are digging a tunnel to Cow Land where only the greatest explorers have been. But now it’s different. It is an emergency for all of Marshmallowanity to evacuate the surface and go underground to where the cows live. It is a hard time for us marshmallows.

“Servants, dig dig dig. It’s going to blow soon. I don’t want to die. Do you? No – so get digging.”

Then suddenly I heard a big boom!! Could that be the volcano? I looked in the direction of where it came from. It was not the volcano! It was TNT. That gave me a good idea. Maybe we could use TNT!

“Servants, get the TNT. We’re gonna blow it!!!”

This turned out to be a bad idea. You will see why later.

My servants piled all of the TNT into the hole they made. From that hole they set a long piece of flammable rope with fire. When it exploded, something very bad happened: the volcano exploded too!! Just then I had forgotten about violation code #45627, which says that if you’re less than a mile away from the volcano, you can not use TNT. This is because it will explode into the meat caverns and will make the volcano erupt! I thought through this. After a little while, I realized that I was the one who made the Meatball Volcano explode!!!

I was astounded! I could not believe I had forgotten about violation code #45627 It was is the most important code in our area! 

*What will happen next in The Crazy Meatball Incident?!*

Chapter 2

Two days later…

I just escaped going to jail because of that TNT incident. I ran away from Meatball Land on a train, a car, my own feet, and a roller-coaster (the roller-coaster was actually kind of fun). Now I am pretending to be a poor marshmallow in the streets of the dreaded Beyond Meatball Land, which is 300 miles away from any real meat. But I am safe here. No real marshmallow would ever come here. That would be disgusting! Well, there are no more things to talk about. I will just go and beg for more moolah. 

Chapter 3

Twenty-four hours later…

Hello. 

I just saw a silver and white airplane fly over.  It had something that said “NASA” on it and it had an alien in a white jumper as the driver. I think it might be trying to—oh no I am floating through a green tunnel going to the NASA thing!

They greet me with a taser in my leg, but too bad for them, marshmallows can not be electrocuted.

They try to talk to me: “Hello, we have come to extract you.”

But I cannot understand what they are saying. I try to talk to them, but they cannot understand me! I have only heard of real aliens in fairy tales. But these aliens are much different. You see, they have fluff on the top of their heads and five sausages at the end of their hands.

Wait, I think, these are Humans!!! OMG, are they going to bring me to earth?

Ever since I first read about Humans, I have always wanted to go to Earth. It’s my dream planet! 

Chapter 4

Three days later… 

I am on Earth.

I am so excited.

I want to live here.

This is awesome!

I love this place. I wonder why they brought me here.

I don’t think I’ve said this yet but: this is awesome!

Have I said this is awesome?!

Wow, I really like this place as you can tell. I think I am becoming famous here! There are reporters everywhere and they are asking me questions I do not understand. Everyone is taking pictures of me and one of the kids is— eating a marshmallow! Holy moley! They do that here?! I hate Earth now! But I guess that is just one kid, so I love Earth now, again!

Well, that’s all I am going to share of my life (the rest is private), But it was a fun experience sharing it with you. So until then, adios!!!

What are you looking at? The story is over!

You’re still looking at this! 

You are still looking, now go and drink your coffee or go finish your life.