Isabella is smart, brave, talented, and fun! She likes to write comedy, specifically about cats. Her last piece published in "The Parenthetical" was also a cat story. She is awesome!
“Hi! Sorry I scared you there. My name is the Crime Kitty. No, it actually isn’t. My name is Cuddles! I am a black, fluffy, tiny kitty, but I have a dark side.”
Hi! Sorry I scared you there. My name is the Crime Kitty. No, it actually isn’t. My name is Cuddles! I am a black, fluffy, tiny kitty, but I have a dark side. You may not know me, but I am more than this so-called “adorable, cute, fluffy, and innocent” kitty. So, let me tell you why.
It was a dark and stormy night in New York City! I was with my owner (Emma). She is a 24-year-old adult who is in college, but she is super mean! I don’t remember her being mean when she got me from a pet store! Or maybe it’s because ever since she got me I made her life even harder. But she could have thought of that before! Well, back to the story. When I was with her, all of a sudden she told me, “Sorry, Cuddles, I have to go to the mall with my friends. Bye.” And then she just threw her sandals at me and left with a new pair of shoes. I mean, how rude! I have been planning for an escape ever since, and tonight was the perfect shot.
***
Ughhhh. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Why is it so hard to reach the doorknob!!! Oh wait!
Ten seconds later…
Finally! I knew there was a stepstool around here. Now I can reach the door knob and wait! I need to pack necessities for the long trip ahead! Let’s see…
Mini kitty backpack: check
Cat food and, well, food: check
My favorite cat jacket: check
And my milk: check
Well, I’m ready. Wow, I’m leaving now. Well, goodbye, house!
***
Doo doo doo doo doo do. Hmmm, well, since Emma’s not here to boss me around, I can do whatever I want! But I have to keep a low profile, so here are some personal rules for myself:
1: No making friends! (Keep a low profile. Tell no one your real name! Try not to be seen.)
2: If someone sees you, quickly run away without a trace!
3: Have fun! Do whatever you want!
Now I’m going to get a donut!
***
Hmmm, hmmmm, hmmmm, hmmmmmm, hmmmmmm.
I love donuts! But I have to focus on getting money! How am I going to buy stuff for myself if I have no money! And how are humans supposed to understand me when I want to buy something! Ugh, it was so much easier when Emma was taking care of me! But she was so mean! Wait a minute, I can just steal stuff. It’ll be much easier. I won’t have to lose a single penny! Well if I had one, but that’s not the point! But stealing is bad. Oh no, I’m hyperventilating again. Agh! Breathe in, breathe in, breathe out. Whoooo, that was way better. Hmmm, let’s see what time it is. If only I had a watch. Oh wait, there was a watch store near the city that Emma used to go with me. I think I have a clue where it is.
***
Creak. Wow, I never realized how creaky this door was. I guess the owner isn’t here today. Well, let me just take a look at this clock, and I will be heading out — Beee oooh, beee, oooh, beee, oooh!!!
Argh!!! So loud! Sensitive ears can’t take much longer! Meow.
***
Beee oooh, beee, oooh, beee, oooh!!! Ugh! What, where? Where am I? Am I in kitty heaven?! Tick tock tick tock. Oh, I guess not. Oh wait, I’m in the clock shop from last night. Hmm, I must have set off the alarms and passed out. Well, off I go.
Doooo, doooo, do, do, do,do —
“Psssssssttttt.”
“Aghhh! Who was that?”
“It’s me,” someone whispered.
“It’s who?”
“Wow, I can’t believe you don’t recognize me!’’ A kitty stepped out of the shadows!!!
“I can’t believe it. Is that really you?!”
“Yep, it’s me!” My best friend of all time came towards me.
“I can’t believe my eyes. I’m so happy to see you. Whiskers, I haven’t seen you since you got adopted!
“You too! I missed you so much! But what are you doing here in the middle of the city unattended?” Whiskers said to me curiously.
“Ummm, what are you doing here in the middle of the city unattended?”
“You tell me first,” Whiskers said.
“Fine, well I ran away.”
“Why?’’ Whiskers asked.
“Well because I don’t like my owner. She is always so mean to me, and I just can’t stand it! I don’t even know why she’s so mean to me. Reow reow reow.”
“It’s okay, Cuddles. You have me?” Whiskers tried cheering me up.
“Yeah, I do have you. Thanks for cheering me up. But why are you in the middle of the city unattended?”
“Well, my owner took me to the park, and guess what?! She said she was going to go to the coffee shop to get a ‘latte,’ and when she left, she never came back!” said Whiskers angrily.
“Well, maybe she just forgot about you?”
“No, she left! So I was left all alone in the park until I got hungry, so I went to the donut shop to the city,” Whiskers told me.
“Well, I have to get going. I am going to go explore. Want to come?”
“Sure,” Whiskers said happily.
So we went off to seek adventure! But then it was turning dark, and we saw nowhere to stay or sleep until we saw a jewelry store. So we decided to go in. But the door was locked, so we started walking away until there was the animal control truck came rolling in our direction! I knew that they were going to take us to the pound, and I will not go back there again, so we started running around the block.
“Ahhhh we’re going to die!!!” yelled Whiskers.
“Don’t worry, Whiskers.” I panted. “We will lose him. I just know it.”
So we went running and running until we came back. But then, when I was running, I got shot with something, and I fell asleep, but then I saw Emma running towards me and saying, “That’s my cat!”
But when I woke up, Emma was hugging me, saying she was sorry she was super mean to me. I was so happy that she starting to act nice to me! But yeah, that was my story! I told you I am dark inside, so bye.
The End.
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