“PLUTO is sitting in the library, reading books. This is the only place where he is not bullied. A lot of people in his class make fun of him for reading a lot.”
ACT ONE
SCENE 1
PLUTO is sitting in the library, reading books. This is the only place where he is not bullied. A lot of people in his class make fun of him for reading a lot.
PLUTO
Excuse me, Miss Agnes? I wanted to know if you had the book under the library code 6712.
MISS AGNES
Let me check the system. I suppose it’s here. Not many people read about law enforcement.
PLUTO
Thank you very much.
After PLUTO receives his book on law enforcement, he heads over to his classroom.
BULLY #1
Ha ha, you’re spending your whole recess in the library!
BULLY #1 says this while punching PLUTO in the stomach.
BULLY #2
Stupid boy here was in the library, it seems.
BULLY #3
Oh shut up, I have worse things to say about him. He’s a cake-sniffing brat. And he eats pizza.
BULLY #2
What type of insult is that?
BULLY #3
It’s a cake-sniffing brat pizza eater insult.
BULLY #1
Okay.
BULLY #3
Oh, and did I tell you he loves to eat pasta?
BULLY #2
He eats pasta? What the heck?
BULLY #3
Also, he watches television.
BULLY #1
He can’t. He spends all his time in the library, don’t you?
As PLUTO walks away, he sees MISS AGNES in trouble. MISS AGNES is trying to put back some books according to library code, but seems to be tripping. PLUTO runs as fast as he can and catches MISS AGNES before she falls off the ladder. As MISS AGNES thanks him, he hears the bell ring. He runs to the classroom to see his teacher waiting.
TEACHER
You’re late. I heard from a lot of kids that you were spending your time in the library. You’re supposed to be outside playing. And you skipped lunch. What an embarrassment! Now shut up and get to your seat. Oh, and did I forget to tell you that Owen, Justice, and Michael said you punched them in the stomach and said they were cake-sniffing, pizza-eating, television-watching, pasta-swallowing brats? What an embarrassment. You are the worst kid in the class, and you shall be banned from the library. You will sit out all of your recess in here, reading the Bible. And you shall skip lunch, and I will starve you until you die! And, as your punishment for today, I will dump you in a box full of box jellyfish, the most venomous jellyfish in the world. I hope you’re happy!
ACT TWO
SCENE 1
PLUTO dumps himself in a glass showcase full of Australian box jellyfish. The stage goes black, and a huge nest appears out of the black. An egg hatches, and out comes a lightbulb, and a very deep voice comes out:
BRAIN
Bring food to school.
Another egg hatches.
BRAIN
Kill box jellyfish using a Band-Aid. Put the Band-Aid on top of the jellyfish, and the jellyfish will stop and drop to the bottom of the tank.
All eggs hatch.
BRAIN
Use modern witchcraft and wizardry!
Stage goes black
ACT THREE
SCENE 1
In “prison cell” a.k.a box jellyfish tank.
TEACHER
What does it say on page 397,000?
PLUTO
As God sent down the ten commandments… Oh, I’ll just stop talking. I already know the whole history of the golden lamb.
TEACHER
You have to keep on reading or else I’ll kill you. You have to keep on reading or else I’ll drive a knife through your stomach. I’ll also shred you like cheese. Or I’ll bring in my pet cobra!!!
PLUTO
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TEACHER
Stop that! And keep reading!
PLUTO dissolves.
ACT FOUR
SCENE 1
PLUTO enters the locked-up library.
MISS AGNES
Pluto, what are you doing here? And how did you — Oh. I know. I should have never let you look at that modern witchcraft and wizardry book.
PLUTO
I need books 667, 789, and 2394.
MISS AGNES
Okay. I’ll search the system. It seems they’re all here.
As PLUTO starts reading the books, MISS AGNES locks the library and leaves. She knows that PLUTO will be able to leave on his own.
PLUTO
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PLUTO disappears into a book.
END OF BOOK ONE
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